DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl who doesn't believe in God. Frankly, I feel uncomfortable when religion is brought up. All my friends are firm believers of Christianity and attend Bible study, or help out with other things at their church.

My parents and brothers don't believe in God. When I say I'd like to be a Christian, my brothers make fun of me. When they do, it makes me feel ashamed of myself.

I want to be a Christian because it would be nice to feel like I belong, and most Christians aren't accepting of atheists -- especially other girls my age. They might be polite, but they're distant. It also doesn't help that the boy I like comes from a religious family. What should I do? -- OUTSIDER IN ALABAMA

DEAR OUTSIDER: I think you should continue being true to the person you really are. Let me point out that if you're feeling isolated now, consider what a fraud you will feel like if you join a religion and must pray to a deity you don't believe in in order to "fit in."

While many churches promote church-related youth activities, you should explore what nonsectarian activities are available in your community. If the boy you like cares about you, he will like you even if you aren't religious, and you will have your self-respect. It's not easy feeling different, but sometimes it's worth it.

DEAR ABBY: We are not sure what to do about a nosy neighbor I'll call "Myrtle." She's nice to talk to, but quite honestly, I suspect she must be watching us with binoculars because she told me what brand of wine we drink. When my husband sends me flowers, she calls me to find out why. If we have a party, she calls to find out what it's about!

A few years ago, I was talking to Myrtle in front of her house and mentioned that I usually walk my dog in the morning. She responded, "Oh, I KNOW when you walk your dog." (Is that creepy or is it me?)

Abby, we have nothing to hide, but our life is none of her business. I've been neighborly to her, but it seems like she wants too much information about us and has no problem telling us all her business and how much she spends.

She's single and friendly with all the neighbors, as are we. I haven't asked if they experience the same thing or if we're the "lucky ones." How should this be handled? -- FED UP IN UTAH

DEAR FED UP: Continue to be polite to your neighbor, but when she asks questions you would rather not answer, instead of answering her directly, respond with another question: "Myrtle, why do you ask?" If she presses for an answer, without being confrontational say, "It's personal," and change the subject. Be sure to keep your shades drawn on windows that face her house, and when you walk your dog, take a different route.

DEAR ABBY: I just turned 20 and I desperately want a baby. I know it's not possible right now because I am still in school and will be for several years. I also want to be married before having children, and my boyfriend agrees. We take precautions and don't plan on having kids for a long time.

None of my friends, relatives or close acquaintances have young children that I can spend time baby-sitting. I was wondering if you knew of any volunteer opportunities that will allow me to satisfy my "mothering" instinct until I can actually be a mother. -- FUTURE MOMMY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FUTURE MOMMY: One that might interest you is becoming a "cuddler." Cuddlers are volunteers who visit hospital neonatal units. They work with infants whose parents can't be there to touch them, and whose nurses have other important duties to perform. Of course, this would necessitate your willingness to undergo a background check and take a short training course.

Contact the hospitals in your area to see if they have this program available. I'm sure if there is one, you would find it emotionally satisfying.

DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with "Irene" for a long time. We invite her and her husband to our home for dinner parties, etc.

Recently, with every invitation, she has been asking to bring along her dog, "Pookie." She lives nearby and could easily leave it at home. We would prefer the dog not visit for a number of reasons: We have a cat; Pookie is nervous around people and has bitten; and he isn't well housebroken. He pees on everything.

How do I politely refuse her request? We enjoy Irene and her husband, but Pookie, not so much. -- NO POOCH, PLEASE, IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NO POOCH: Here's how. When Irene asks again about bringing her dog, simply say, "We'd prefer you didn't." And if she has the nerve to ask why, tell her the reasons you gave me -- all of which are valid.

DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with "Irene" for a long time. We invite her and her husband to our home for dinner parties, etc.

Recently, with every invitation, she has been asking to bring along her dog, "Pookie." She lives nearby and could easily leave it at home. We would prefer the dog not visit for a number of reasons: We have a cat; Pookie is nervous around people and has bitten; and he isn't well housebroken. He pees on everything.

How do I politely refuse her request? We enjoy Irene and her husband, but Pookie, not so much. -- NO POOCH, PLEASE, IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NO POOCH: Here's how. When Irene asks again about bringing her dog, simply say, "We'd prefer you didn't." And if she has the nerve to ask why, tell her the reasons you gave me -- all of which are valid.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her husband are divorced, and I take care of their twin daughters after school. I love the girls and treasure the time I get to spend with them.

Their parents' combined income is more than $120,000. I am on a fixed income and ask for only $10 per day (plus $10 a week for gas) so I can take the girls places like the zoo or an occasional movie (which usually costs more than I am given). I feed them one meal a day on this budget as well.

Whenever discussions about money occur, the ex-husband repeatedly tells my daughter he thinks it's "offensive" that a grandparent charges money to watch the grandchildren. He uses it as a tactic to threaten to not pay for other needed expenses. How do I tell him I think he's out of line for making me feel bad for requesting the money? -- STUNNED AND HURT IN TEMPE, ARIZ.

DEAR STUNNED AND HURT: Your former son-in-law may have some bitterness because of the divorce. Whatever his reason, his children should not suffer for it. Frankly, he should be ashamed of himself.

If he raises the subject of being "offended" with you, remind him in plain English that you are on a limited income, food is expensive and if the money wasn't NEEDED you wouldn't ask for it. It's the truth. It's nothing to be ashamed of and certainly not offensive.

Let's do the math: Your granddaughters go to school five days a week; that's $50, plus $10 a week for gas. That's $60! If they were in day care instead of being looked after by you, the cost would be many times that amount.

DEAR ABBY: I am an executive assistant. A few years ago, my boss passed away after a long illness. My 13 years with her accounted for the longest consistent span of my career, and for obvious reasons, I was not able to get a letter of recommendation. It was difficult applying for jobs without being able to provide a first-hand reference from my longest employer.

I am now happily employed, but I worry sometimes about what if it happens again. My current boss is in his early 50s, but not in the best health. I have no intention of going anywhere, and I don't want to send him the wrong signal, but I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to ask him for a reference letter, just to make sure I don't find myself in the same situation again. BTW, he knows about my former situation, so I think he would understand, but I'm not sure. -- EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT IN GEORGIA

DEAR EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT: I'm sorry about the death of your former employer, but your lack of a letter of reference should not have prevented you from finding another job. Your length of employment should have been proof enough that you were an asset to the company.

I do not think it would be a good idea to approach your boss about giving you a letter of reference for a couple of reasons. First, it might be regarded as a signal that you are not happy with your job. And second, because of fear of litigation, many employers today are reluctant to give out any information about an employee other than the length of time the person worked for the company.