DEAR ABBY: I have anger issues and sometimes I take it out on the ones I love. When my fiancee recently told me we are having a child, I hoped my attitude would change. It hasn't, and at times it has gotten worse. I hit her last night and it left a mark.

I feel awful for the pain I continue to cause her, and I keep telling myself "this is the last time." I know she should drop me and be done with this abusive relationship, but she believes in me and holds onto the hope that better days are around the corner. I know the things I have done will never be forgotten. How can I fix this? Or is it too late and we are both lying to ourselves? -- ASHAMED IN ANAHEIM, CALIF.

DEAR ASHAMED: It isn't too late IF you are willing to seek professional help for your anger issues. Change isn't easy, but it is possible if you are willing to put in the effort and find ways of coping with your anger other than lashing out at those closest to you. Your physician should be able to refer you to a therapist who can help you. However, if that's not feasible, contact your county department of mental health about counseling.

If you hit your pregnant girlfriend again, you could seriously injure her or your baby, so please don't wait to talk to someone. While I empathize with her loving and having faith in you, she must now put the child she is carrying first. If you assault her again, she should call the police. But I would rather you get help for your problem on your own than your having a criminal record and court-ordered anger management.

DEAR ABBY: I came into a large sum of money because of an accident a relative of mine was in about a year ago. I spent it on a variety of items for myself, my husband and my mother. I paid off some debt and medical bills, and we also made two significant purchases as well as many small ones. Seventy-five percent of the money has been spent. I am OK with that and so is my husband.

My financial adviser, who has been managing two of the beneficiary accounts from the accident, has asked me about the other funds I received. I know to some people I was irresponsible and I should have saved as much as I could. I'm nervous about telling him what I chose to do. I'm afraid he'll judge me for not being more frugal with the money.

Truth be told, it isn't his business how that money was spent because he wasn't managing it for me. How should I tell him about it? I feel like a typed letter is my best bet. -- NERVOUS IN KOKOMO, IND.

DEAR NERVOUS: I hope you realize that you are thinking like a guilty child and not the adult you are now. If you prefer to answer your money manager's question via a typed letter, that is your privilege.

However, it would be quicker and faster if you stop worrying about his reaction, pick up the phone and talk to the man. I agree it's not his job to "judge" you, but he would not be acting in your best interest if he didn't advise you how to provide for your future with the monies you have left after the spending spree you have described. Be prepared for it, and please do not regard anything he says as criticism from a scolding parent, because he's not your father.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and all my life I have had trouble accepting gifts, even inexpensive ones. I do believe it's the thought that counts, but I have trouble expressing gratitude.

An example: My brother was disappointed by my reaction when he got me soap shaped like a rock last Christmas. My smile was forced. I feel anxious when I get presents, no matter what they are.

I have started seeing someone, and I was planning to save up for a really nice present for him. But when he said he wanted to do the same, I felt uncomfortable. What's a great line I can use to express my gratitude -- "I'm happy that you thought of me"? -- SEARCHING FOR WORDS OUT WEST

DEAR SEARCHING FOR WORDS: Always say thank you. After that, you might express that the item is "beautiful" or that you like the style or the color. In a case like your brother's gift, you could have said, "Wow! This gift rocks!"

DEAR ABBY: I am 29, independent, single and have a steady job. I'm planning on going back to school to become a certified plumbing technician.

Here's the catch: I'm a woman, and because I'm female, some people make comments like, "You don't want to do that. It's working with other people's ----!" Yes, this is really because I'm female.

I have tried explaining that plumbing doesn't just involve unclogging toilets and that I feel it's a good choice for me, but I still get these stupid comments. One woman in particular I work with won't stop trying to talk me out of it. I think it's my choice and she's being rude. Is there a polite way to convince her without being rude? -- MS. PLUMBER IN LANCASTER, PENN.

DEAR MS. PLUMBER: Try this: "Plumbers make good money. Right now, I'm making 'this' much, but once I complete the course I'll be earning ( )" If that doesn't convince her, nothing will.

DEAR ABBY: Is there any hope for a man who refuses to turn off the TV during dinner? When I tell him dinner is on the table, he waits until it's cold and then continues to watch the program from the dinner table and ignore me. I have asked him to please turn off the TV during meals, but he won't.

He gobbles his food and doesn't close his mouth. Food drops out of the side of his mouth, and it's disgusting to see. Have you any suggestions? -- OVER IT IN STOCKTON, CALIF.

DEAR OVER IT: Your husband's behavior is passive-aggressive, and I can't help but wonder what he's punishing you for. It's sad that he has such atrocious table manners and such little consideration for your feelings. I "suggest" you stop trying to serve him a hot meal, let him get his own food from the kitchen and eat it in front of the television when he's hungry, while you eat separately -- preferably out with friends.

DEAR ABBY: Our family dog recently passed away after a year-long decline. I had grown up with him. He had reached the point where he needed daily care for his body, even though his mind was 100 percent there. Near the end, things got very bad. I got only about four hours of broken sleep a night caring for him, and no one in the family would help me. During part of his daily care routine, he had a second accident all over the freshly cleaned floor. I lost it and hit him.

He's gone now, and I can barely live with myself. When I think about it, I get nauseated and dry-heave. I literally hate myself. In my book, exhaustion doesn't give anyone the right to do what I did. I'm old enough to know better. This makes me want to change my life plans and never have another pet or have children -- just in case. Am I right? -- LOWLIFE IN THE USA

DEAR "LOWLIFE": Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved furry friend. While what happened is regrettable, you are wrong to beat yourself up the way you are. There is something called "caregiver burnout," which I'm advising you to research. When caregivers are stressed and sleep-deprived, mental health advisers urge them to find respite care for their patient. Lack of sleep can cause people to react badly.

If your family had been more supportive and you had had proper rest, you probably would not have snapped. What happened does not mean you are doomed to repeat this with another pet or a child.

DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter-in-law I would like to get to know. "Karla" and my son have been married for four years. My dilemma is texting. Karla refuses to carry on conversations on the phone or in person. Everything has to be texted. When I have explained to her that I wanted to get to know her better and felt that texts were impersonal, she claimed that they are all she has time for between working and taking care of the children.

I don't mind watching the children; I'd just like to know a day in advance unless it's an emergency. Abby, she is rude, disrespectful and treats me like a servant rather than a family member. Am I wrong to expect non-emergency things to be scheduled in advance, or is it acceptable to text and say, "Hey, I need you to watch the kids. Be here at noon"? -- HURT FEELINGS

DEAR HURT FEELINGS: No, you're not wrong. The next time you receive a text like the one you quoted, send one back that says, "Not available then -- need more warning. Ask sooner next time."

DEAR ABBY: I am blessed to be 70 years old and have few problems. Your column today got me wondering about something. You answered, "For Pete's sake..." to a question. I just wondered, who is Pete? I have heard the expression all my life and am just curious. -- DALE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DALE: That's a good question, because I didn't know where the phrase came from either. "For Pete's sake" is a mild oath. According to my online research, it's a cleaned-up version of what was originally "For Christ's sake."