DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 22 years, and we had a good marriage until recently. Over the last three years she has become more and more consumed with her phone and tablet. She goes nowhere and does nothing without them.
Advertisement
Every night and weekend she sits engrossed in both devices until well after I have gone to bed. If I ask what she's doing or who she's texting, she accuses me of being controlling and not trusting her.
We can't watch a movie, eat a meal (out or at home) or anything else without her constantly tending to at least one of her devices. She says she can multitask and I shouldn't be concerned, but it has greatly diminished our relationship. I feel like when we're together, I am really alone.
If that isn't enough, I have seen her communications with other men, sometimes intimate, late at night. When I ask about them, she throws the same labels at me. What should I do? -- ONLY HUMAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR ONLY HUMAN: What you should do is tell your wife you have seen the intimate late-night conversations she has been having with other men, and that you feel she has abandoned you. Do not let her accuse you of being controlling or untrusting. You have done nothing wrong.
If she is willing to come clean and deal with the problems in your marriage, which go beyond her addiction to electronic devices, you should agree to marriage counseling. If she's not, you will then have to weigh whether this kind of marriage is enough for you, because it certainly wouldn't be for many men.