DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 22 years, and we had a good marriage until recently. Over the last three years she has become more and more consumed with her phone and tablet. She goes nowhere and does nothing without them.

Every night and weekend she sits engrossed in both devices until well after I have gone to bed. If I ask what she's doing or who she's texting, she accuses me of being controlling and not trusting her.

We can't watch a movie, eat a meal (out or at home) or anything else without her constantly tending to at least one of her devices. She says she can multitask and I shouldn't be concerned, but it has greatly diminished our relationship. I feel like when we're together, I am really alone.

If that isn't enough, I have seen her communications with other men, sometimes intimate, late at night. When I ask about them, she throws the same labels at me. What should I do? -- ONLY HUMAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ONLY HUMAN: What you should do is tell your wife you have seen the intimate late-night conversations she has been having with other men, and that you feel she has abandoned you. Do not let her accuse you of being controlling or untrusting. You have done nothing wrong.

If she is willing to come clean and deal with the problems in your marriage, which go beyond her addiction to electronic devices, you should agree to marriage counseling. If she's not, you will then have to weigh whether this kind of marriage is enough for you, because it certainly wouldn't be for many men.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in ninth grade and my birthday is coming up. I invited a group of friends to go out and eat dinner at a nice restaurant, assuming everyone would pay for their own meal. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Some of them said they expect me to pay. Others think I'd be crazy if I did that and even insisted on paying for mine.

If I pay for everyone to eat at a restaurant, it's going to be pricy and my parents will be upset. I can't uninvite anyone, and it's not like I can take them to a cheap fast food place. What do you think I should do? -- SAD BIRTHDAY GIRL

DEAR SAD BIRTHDAY GIRL: I think you should contact your prospective guests and start the conversation by saying, "Let me clarify ..." That way, anyone who wants to will be able to back out and there will be no misunderstandings. The lesson here is to never assume.

DEAR ABBY: I quit school in the 1970s and joined the service. I got my GED and I'm friends with a lot of the people I went to high school with. They constantly ask me to attend their high school reunion.

My problem is, I didn't graduate with my class and don't know if I should go. I don't want to feel awkward, but I'd love to see the classmates from that part of my life. What is protocol on this? -- UNSURE IN ATHENS, OHIO

DEAR UNSURE: Go to the reunion! I'm sure your former classmates will be as glad to see you as you will be to see them. It's not as if this is a state dinner; it's only a high school reunion, for heaven's sake.

DEAR ABBY: The wedding night I had dreamed about forever was supposed to be the most romantic and amazing of my life with the one person I can't live without. Instead, it was the most humiliating experience I have ever had. I dressed in a beautiful negligee, and my husband didn't even take a second look at me. I was so embarrassed, I rolled over and pretended to fall asleep. That was my big night, the one night I'll never get again.

This same man brags about the sexual encounters he had with his ex-wife, cyber sex and his 13-hour sexathon. When I try to touch him, he seems repulsed and pulls away. My heart can't take the never-ending rejection and the nights of crying because I don't know what I have done wrong.

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure he has never even noticed. Even an intimate kiss would be enough for me now. I dream of a man who loves me so much he stares at me from across the room, who can't wait to get his hands on me even if it's just for a second. Unfortunately, that's not my marriage. Don't I deserve happiness? And will this ever change? -- UNTOUCHED IN TEXAS

DEAR UNTOUCHED: Of course you deserve happiness. But nothing will change until you start asking questions and demand answers. The only thing you have done "wrong" is to have tolerated the status quo.

Has it occurred to you that your husband has been lying to you about his sexual exploits? He may be impotent, gay, or so hooked on cyber porn that there is nothing left for you. Make it your business to find out. Ask him. And if he isn't forthcoming, talk with his ex-wife. If your marriage was never consummated, you may be entitled to an annulment.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago I was told by a fertility doctor that I can't have children. Having a husband, children and a home in which we can build memories and traditions were the only things I ever wanted in life.

Since then I have tried to find meaning in life and things to fill the huge void that would have been filled by my dreams. I have not been successful. I have been on antidepressants, gone to counseling, volunteered, held a job, traveled, and confided in loved ones who, frankly, don't want to hear about it any longer (and I don't blame them). But I still feel completely empty.

There isn't anything I look forward to in life. (I'm 45, divorced, most of my family has passed on, and I am an atheist.) I don't know what else to do or where else to turn. Can you help me? -- BROKEN RECORD

DEAR BROKEN: What immediately comes to mind is that feeling as you do about children, you might make a terrific foster parent or adoptive parent to an older child. There are many in the system who need loving, supportive homes.

However, if that doesn't work for you, consider looking into volunteering to become a court-appointed advocate for abused and neglected children through a program called CASA. CASA volunteers make sure these vulnerable children don't get lost in the legal system, and you might find that to be rewarding. You'll find more information about this at casaforchildren.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 36 years to a woman who is a pediatric physical therapist. A number of her youngsters are disabled or abused, and their lives can be a struggle. This results in emotional, intense workdays for my wife. She brings these stories home and shares them with me.

Over the years on three or four occasions, I have either told her I didn't care to hear an emotional story that day, or ignored her when she tried to tell me. The last time I said it was last year, and now she refuses to tell me anything about her workload. She's very stubborn, and although I am interested in what she does, she won't let me apologize. She says she will discuss it only with her fellow therapists at work.

Abby, what can I do to convey to her that I want to share her experiences? -- REGRETFUL IN GEORGIA

DEAR REGRETFUL: If you haven't been able to get through to your wife by now, probably not much.

There's a saying that a joy shared is twice a joy and a burden shared is half a burden. When she tried to confide what was weighing on her mind or heart on those occasions, your response was, frankly, unkind. Further, if the treatment she's giving those children is covered by HIPAA regulations, it's possible that the only people she should talk to about them are her colleagues.

I wish I could be more helpful, but it looks like you may have to find another way to be intimate with your wife besides discussing her workload.

DEAR ABBY: As chairman of the American Institute of CPAs' Tax Executive Committee, may I offer some clarification to you and your readers about your answer in your July 13 column titled, "Couple Deep in Tax Hole Need Help in Climbing Out"?

In fact, THREE groups of tax preparers have unlimited practice rights under Department of the Treasury regulations to represent their clients on any matters before the IRS -- certified public accountants, attorneys and enrolled agents.

None are more qualified than CPAs. CPAs are licensed by state regulators and must meet minimum education requirements to sit for their national licensing exam and then fulfill ongoing continuing education requirements, as well as abide by a code of professional ethics. Attorneys have a generally similar system.

Enrolled agents are often former IRS employees who are licensed by the IRS after passing an exam. Enrolled agents are competent and respected tax professionals, but the fact they are licensed by the IRS does not mean they are better qualified or superior in serving clients than are CPAs or attorneys.

IRS.gov has a page explaining the different types of tax return preparers and their qualifications, which may be helpful to your readers. -- TROY K. LEWIS, CPA

DEAR MR. LEWIS: Thank you for the clarification and for expanding my reply to that letter. It was not my intention to imply that CPAs are less qualified than enrolled agents -- and if I created that impression, I sincerely apologize.