DEAR ABBY: I'm nearly 100 percent sure my husband is cheating on me. I tracked him a couple of times using the GPS on his phone and saw he wasn't where he told me he would be. I know he has a female acquaintance who lives in the general area of where he was, so I did a little investigating. Sure enough, she lives exactly where he was. I don't know whether to confront him now, or wait to try to catch him at her house so there will be no denying it.

My husband is the last person on Earth I thought would cheat. When it comes to everything else in life, he's a man of high standards and integrity. I'm afraid to be on my own because I never have been. I don't see how I/we can afford a divorce. Please help! -- IN SHOCK IN FLORIDA

DEAR IN SHOCK: You must have suspected that something wasn't right, or you wouldn't have been tracking your husband's whereabouts. Now that you know for certain he hasn't been truthful, protect yourself by consulting an attorney who specializes in family law.

This does not mean I'm suggesting you divorce your husband. However, you will be enlightened about what your rights are as his wife. Armed with that information, if you decide to drop by the woman's house while your husband is there and confront them, it may help your husband recognize that a divorce isn't in his financial interest and give him an incentive to repair your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: Would it be rude to invite someone to a festive occasion weeks after he or she lost a loved one? Is there a time frame or an etiquette reference? It seems callous to issue an invitation, but if I didn't, I'd feel like I'm shunning or forgetting the person. I am looking for a mature way to approach this. Have you any thoughts you can offer? -- TREADING LIGHTLY IN N.Y.C.

DEAR TREADING LIGHTLY: Call the person and say you are thinking about him or her, and ask how your friend is doing. During the conversation, allude to the fact that you'll be having a celebration and mention that if he or she is feeling up to it, the invitation is open.

Your friend may surprise you and accept because there is no timetable for grief, and much of the grieving may have been done while the deceased was alive and ailing. However, if your friend declines, at least he/she will know you were thinking about him/her, and that's very important at a time like this.

DEAR ABBY: Our bright, attractive daughter recently told us that she's seeing a transgender man. For financial reasons, this man has not had a complete sex change. He still has a female body part. This has caused deep division within our family because, while we love our daughter, we also refuse to see this as being "normal" and believe it will have a negative impact on our daughter professionally. Please advise. -- LIVING A NIGHTMARE IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR LIVING A NIGHTMARE: Unless the person your daughter is seeing wears a sign describing his genitalia, your daughter's career should not be affected. This should be nobody's business -- including yours. Because you love your daughter, concentrate less on what's "missing" and more on what they share together and the happiness they bring each other, and you'll all be better off.

DEAR ABBY: Eleven years ago my husband had a prostatectomy, which left him impotent. His sex drive dropped from 100 to zero. I have told him many times I don't care what he can or can't do. I have also told him I married him in sickness and health, and if this is the worst thing to happen, we are pretty lucky.

This is the man I couldn't walk by for many years without him all over me. We made love two or three times a day. I miss the man I married desperately. He is the one who had surgery, but I didn't.

I would never cheat on him, but I don't know what to do. Anytime we are intimate, it is always my idea, never his. I feel lost and hope you can help. -- LOST IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LOST: In one paragraph you tell me that you don't care what your husband can or can't do. In the next you tell me you miss the man he was and need more than you're getting. Here's what I advise: Have a talk with your husband, and suggest that he have a talk with his urologist. There are medical interventions that could improve the state of your union, but only if he is aware of them and is willing to avail himself.

DEAR ABBY: One of my male friends is having a child with a woman he is not married to and isn't dating. I want to throw a baby shower/party for him, and he seems excited about it. I will invite the mother of his future child, but I don't really know her. The party is more for my friend.

Our circle of friends thinks it's strange to throw a baby shower for a male. Am I breaking some rule of etiquette here? -- BROOKE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR BROOKE: Is the mother of the child a surrogate and is he planning to be a father to the child, or was she impregnated during a one-night stand? Baby showers are supposed to be for the BABY, and the mother-to-be is usually the star of the show, not an add-on. If your friend's participation ended at conception, he is not entitled to a shower.

DEAR ABBY: I am 27 and "blessed" with a young face. All my life I've been told it's a gift, and I should be thankful people assume I'm much younger than my age.

Now that I'm married and have a family (three children under the age of 5), I often find myself on the receiving end of dirty looks from total strangers. My husband works night shifts, so I often run errands with my children. As much as I love spending time with them, the trips can be unpleasant for me.

I constantly spot women checking to see if I'm wearing a wedding band or engagement ring. I have also overheard comments about single teen mothers and the judgmental things people say about them. How can I tactfully handle these situations while being a good role model for my kids? -- BLESSED IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR BLESSED: The way to handle rude remarks would be to ignore them, and to remember to wear your wedding band when you and your children are out running errands.

DEAR ABBY: I am a lesbian, still in high school, who has not yet come out to any friends or family. I want them to know, but I'm afraid to tell them.

I'm pretty sure this is who I am, and I don't want them to dismiss my identity. I also don't want them to think of me differently -- I want to be the same person in their eyes as I was before I came out. They aren't homophobic to my knowledge, but I feel "stuck."

I have fairly bad social anxiety, so it's difficult for me to say anything. I'd be grateful for any advice you have. -- HIDING IN COLORADO

DEAR HIDING: I suggest you first deal with your social anxiety (a counselor can help you with this) because it may make it easier for you to come out when you finally decide to do it. Until you are secure in yourself about who you are, I think you should wait to announce your sexual orientation to other people.

DEAR ABBY: I am totally frustrated. My wife has implemented alerts on our credit cards, bank accounts and debit card accounts to a point that I can't buy surprise gifts for her birthday, our anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc., without receiving a text from her almost immediately asking if I charged something to a specific store.

Do you think this is a control obsession, or is she just overly cautious? Every time I try to discuss this with her, she says she's trying to make sure we are not hacked, etc. I want to be able to buy her things and create the element of surprise.

I would love some financial privacy at special times. Other than this, I have nothing to hide. Do you have any advice to help me save my sanity on this one? -- UNDER SURVEILLANCE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR UNDER SURVEILLANCE: Yes, either get a credit card in your name only or put aside some cash to spend on surprise gifts for these special occasions.

DEAR ABBY: I met a man online who lives out of state. We seem to have a lot in common. I have relatives near his home and plan to move to that state in the future. He has two daughters, ages 22 and 24. The 24-year-old, who is married, just graduated from college. He flew back east to attend the graduation.

He has told me several times how much he likes my long hair. When he called me from back east, he said how happy he was that he got to brush his daughter's hair! I thought it was odd and mentioned it to a few friends -- male and female -- who said they thought so, too. What's your opinion? I'm uncomfortable about what he did. -- UNEASY OUT WEST

DEAR UNEASY: I agree that it's unusual for a father to be brushing his adult daughter's hair. However, not knowing the man, I can't say for certain whether or not his affinity for your long hair is a fetish. Because you found his comment off-putting, discuss it with him in a nonconfrontational way to learn more before making any judgments.