DEAR ABBY: I had a close friend from middle school into adulthood. (I'll call her Lacey.) We were each other's maids of honor and best friends for years. A few years ago we had a falling out. She was going through a tough time and lashed out at me. When I tried to have a conversation with her to tell her I didn't like how she was treating me, she told me to "have a nice life."

Shortly after that, my youngest sister struck up a friendship with her and insisted that my parents invite her for Thanksgiving dinner. I told my mother I wasn't comfortable with Lacey joining our family dinner, but Mother said it would be rude to not invite her.

I no longer join my family for holiday dinners. Is it wrong of me to not want my family to be so friendly with someone who was unkind to me? It seems odd to me that my former friend would pursue relationships with my sisters and parents, and odder still that my parents and sisters would encourage it. Is there a positive and constructive way to address this situation? -- DISCOUNTED AND EXCLUDED IN NEVADA

DEAR DISCOUNTED: It seems odd to me, too, that your parents would continue including Lacey at holiday dinners knowing how uncomfortable it would make you. Of course, you can't dictate whom your sister(s) can be friendly with, but you should explain to your parents how her inclusion has made you feel, so they'll understand why you are absent.

When Lacey advised you to "have a nice life," I hope you took her up on it and have made other friends. I also hope you don't sit around alone when the holidays roll around. Sometimes the most rewarding and loving experiences and relationships we have are with the "families" we build for ourselves.

DEAR ABBY: I was taught that punctuality is important. My husband and I are almost always at least a few minutes early for everything we do. I realize not everyone can be -- or wants to be -- early. However, it seems that almost everyone we know is late. Sometimes it's five minutes, others it's 20 to 30 minutes. And it's not just people we know. I was kept waiting for 25 minutes by someone who was buying an item from me.

Why do people think this is OK? I was taught that it's rude to keep someone waiting for you. What are your thoughts on punctuality?

P.S. I'm not talking about running late once in a while. I'm talking about people who are consistently late everywhere they go. -- AMBER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR AMBER: I was raised the same way you were. My parents impressed upon me that it is disrespectful to keep people waiting, and that if a delay is unavoidable, the person who's expecting me should be informed that I will be late. I'm not implying that someone must make an appearance at the stroke of the hour -- a delay of 10 or 15 minutes is understandable. But to keep someone waiting longer than that is rude, disrespectful and bad manners.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Not Talking About the Future" (March 24), whose wife has breast cancer, was told she has only a few years to live, and feels sad when her kids talk about their futures. My dad was diagnosed with stage four multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer, in 2006. He was told that even the most aggressive treatment would buy him only two or three more years. Well, he's now working on year nine.

While I must admit that it's been hard at times for me to stay positive about his prognosis, I try not to let it show. Instead, every chance I get, I talk about the future with him -- holiday plans, plans for my wedding next year, projects around his house, etc. It helps to take his mind off the pain and nastiness of his treatments and gets him thinking about positive things.

Forward thinking has been great medicine for Dad. "Not Talking" and his wife don't really know how much more time she actually has, and it certainly doesn't hurt to think positively. -- LOOKING AHEAD IN GLENDALE, ARIZ.

DEAR LOOKING: Thank you for your upbeat message. Read on for a sampling of what other readers had to say about that letter:

DEAR ABBY: "Not Talking" asked if he should shield his sick wife from discussions involving the future. One thing my mom, who died last year, did for the future was to take a video of herself visiting with her grand-nephews so they would have it to look at when they are older. She also bought -- or gave us -- things for our future adopted child, to give to him or her later on. She crafted notebooks for us to hand out at her memorial service, so everyone would have something to cherish from her.

"Not Talking's" wife may want to consider doing some of these things. I send her, and everyone else dealing with cancer, a prayer of peace. -- PROUD DAUGHTER, VANCOUVER, WASH.

DEAR ABBY: I was 13 when my father found out he had cancer. I didn't know what it was, and no one in my family sat me down and told me he was going to die. He passed away at a hospital out of town, and I wasn't there when it happened. When I was told, I was heartbroken.

Now, as an adult, I am crushed that I wasn't able to have the conversations with him I needed -- about his boyhood, grandparents, his time in the Navy, my dreams, and just spending precious time with him. I would suggest that "Not Talking" and his wife tell their teens about her prognosis of three to four years. They deserve to know. They should have the opportunity to discuss what's going on in their lives and allow their mom to reflect on her own life, and her hopes and dreams for her kids. -- MISSING MY DAD IN INDIANA

DEAR ABBY: Being a teenager is challenging, but having a dying parent can make it excruciating. No matter how mature the teens appear, they are not ready to deal with what is coming.

The family may benefit from the Stephen Ministries program (stephenministries.org). Stephen Ministers are trained lay volunteers assigned to provide one-to-one care to people experiencing a difficult time in life. Many Christian denominations participate. The parents can contact their local congregation to see if the program is available. -- BEEN THERE IN FORT WORTH

DEAR ABBY: Are senior citizens having more affairs these days? I used to laugh at the "old couples' sex letters" I'd see in your column -- until it hit home.

My husband (age 68) ran into a 38-year-old ex-waitress friend. They had lunch, which led to emails and texts, which led to sexts and then a full-blown affair. I believe these personal/secretive forms of communication make going from texting to sexting much too easy.

Our generation didn't have much sexual freedom growing up. I think men of that generation have a "go for it before it's too late" mentality, and the combination of the Internet and Viagra is making it possible.

Should every couple insist on access to their spouse's devices? How do you broach the subject? I wish I had seen the number of texts being sent early on. Then this whole ugly affair might have been averted. Now my trust, my respect and our marriage are all in crisis. -- SHARON IN NAPLES, FLA.

DEAR SHARON: Technology and medicine are extending the sex lives of many seniors these days. However, I don't think it's necessary for couples to check each other's electronic devices if there is no cause for suspicion. In your case, because of your husband's infidelity, you do have that right -- and the way to broach the subject is to tackle it head on. And if you haven't already, insist that your husband join you in marriage counseling.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a guy (seriously) who is fantastic. "Kyle" is smart, trustworthy, kind -- and incredibly gorgeous. The problem is, he has two Boston terriers who drive me crazy -- one in particular whose breathing is so loud all the time that we can't even hear a TV program or each other speak. That dog is super hyper and has destroyed numerous things in my house. Kyle's house reeks of doggy odor, and the dogs also have horrible gas and vomit often.

If we are staying over at my place, his dogs come with him. I hate it! It is the weirdest thing, but I notice my anxiety level rises when the dogs are here, running around and snorting uncontrollably. There are other issues, but I don't want to write a novel.

I am trying to live in the moment and not let it bother me. But in this moment, it is intrusive and annoying. What can I do? -- BRYAN IN CHICAGO

DEAR BRYAN: Kyle may be gorgeous, but he doesn't appear to be a very responsible pet owner. He should have asked his veterinarian to check his dogs when he realized they were having repeated gastrointestinal upsets. As to the poor animals' breathing, it may be because short-faced dogs are prone to breathing problems.

It's possible that Kyle is so used to the doggy odor in his house that he no longer smells it. That's why it couldn't hurt to tell him YOU have noticed it, that it's overwhelming, and it's time to get a professional cleaning crew in there.