DEAR ABBY: I am a partially disabled person in my 70s. Because of arthritis in my spine and hip, I'm able to stand for only a few minutes and walk only 20 to 30 feet. When I know I am going to be someplace that requires more walking or standing, I use my wheelchair.

My question is: How do I reply to strangers who ask me, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" One lady said, "Oh, is it your knees?" I feel the questions are rude, and I shouldn't have to explain my medical status to people I don't know. I try to mumble something about not being able to stand for long periods, like waiting in line. But I'd really like to respond with a funnier, more flippant reply if I could think of one. Any suggestions? -- TRAVELING BY WHEELCHAIR

DEAR TRAVELING: Try one of these "flippant" possibilities: "It's nothing I usually discuss in public, but it's contagious!" Or, "I broke my tailbone dancing at the Bolshoi." Or, "Just lazy, I guess."

However, joking about a medical condition isn't funny. So perhaps you should reconsider and just be honest.

DEAR ABBY: I recently was invited to a surprise 50th-birthday party for my twin sister. Her husband had a family dinner that included all my siblings.

When my brother-in-law invited me, he said my sister didn't want a big party, but he wanted to celebrate our birthdays with this special dinner. I was delighted to attend, but I must admit I was a little hurt when the celebration turned out to be strictly for my sister. My name wasn't on the cake, and only she blew out the candles and opened gifts. (I did receive two cards.)

I know the party was given for her, and I was a gracious guest, but as her twin, I felt awkward and ignored. Am I being overly sensitive, or were they just rude? -- TROUBLED TWIN

DEAR TROUBLED TWIN: Oh, my. I don't think your brother-in-law was being rude. But in light of the fact that you and your sister were womb mates, you were treated with incredible insensitivity.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a sticky situation. My husband, "Chester," can't stand to eat meals with my dad. It's never bothered me, but Dad sometimes "smacks" or talks with food in his mouth. It drives Chester crazy. We visit them every week and meals are always involved. What do I do? Should my husband just get used to it? We decided to ask you for advice before we do anything else. -- IN A PICKLE IN TEXAS

DEAR IN A PICKLE: Have your mother talk to Dad and "suggest" that their son-in-law is used to more formal table etiquette, so would Dad please make an effort to not chew with his mouth open when the two of you are visiting. I can't promise it will do the trick, but it may make your father more conscious about what he's doing.

DEAR ABBY: I have just learned that my sister's husband of 35 years (I'll call him George) hasn't filed their personal income taxes going back a number of years. This has caused a lot of stress and anxiety for my sister, who recently underwent breast cancer treatment. Apparently, he hasn't filed because of his inability to organize. (His family has denial issues.)

Their professional tax preparer has met with both of them and tried to work out a step-by-step program, but George consistently fails to meet the deadlines. I love my sister and want to be as supportive as possible, but I'm unsure what I can do. I have advised her to seek therapy. She has copies of business-related documents relating to the unfiled tax periods, but not enough information to file on her own.

On top of everything else, she has several relationship issues with her children that are causing her grief. What else can I do? -- HELPLESS BIG BROTHER

DEAR BROTHER: Failure to file one's taxes is a federal crime that could land your brother-in-law and sister in the slammer. That's why you should urge your sister to do something she should have done years ago -- take over the family finances.

She and her husband may need more help than their CPA has been able to give them. A group that I have mentioned in my column before is the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA). These are tax specialists -- some of whom are attorneys and CPAs -- who are specifically licensed by the Department of the Treasury. Tell your sister to contact an enrolled agent by visiting www.naea.org. TODAY.

DEAR ABBY: I recently moved in with my boyfriend, "Teddy." We are both in our 20s. Five years ago, he married his high school sweetheart. Two years later, she cheated on him and left. Teddy and I have talked about the situation countless times. I know he doesn't love her anymore and cares for me a lot.

Abby, I lose sleep over their relationship. I can't stop thinking about how she left him -- not the other way around -- and if he hadn't caught her cheating they would still be together. I Google her to see if I can find out anything about them. I check her social media sites multiple times a day. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I'm obsessed with her!

Teddy is such a caring man, he tells me everything I want to know, but my obsession with her and their relationship is starting to get to him. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time I wonder if I will have to leave because I can't get over their marriage. What should I do? -- OBSESSED IN OHIO

DEAR OBSESSED: There's an old saying that applies to your situation: One man's trash is another man's treasure. Your boyfriend's ex didn't recognize what a prize she had, fouled the nest and threw him away. How lucky for you that she did.

I can understand your being curious about her; what I can't understand is your compulsion to stalk her online. What she's doing these days has no effect on you or your relationship with Teddy. If you keep this up, you will drive him away. If you can't stop, find a licensed mental health professional who can give you the tools to overcome your insecurity. It will be money well spent.

DEAR ABBY: My problem concerns my children and others who may have to deal with my finances or estate should I become ill or die.

I constantly get requests from credit card companies and other businesses, like utilities, urging me to "go paperless." "Save a tree ... save a forest!" While I'm sympathetic, I worry that if I were to get sick and no paper bills arrive in my mailbox, my children wouldn't know they need to be paid. (They have my durable power of attorney.) If everything arrives online, they'll have no access to that information. Bills and late fees will accumulate, and no one will be the wiser.

This is why I resist. I pay many of my bills online, but I also receive paper documents. I know many companies and credit card issuers are unsympathetic about reducing or eliminating late fees, regardless of the situation. I don't trust them to waive these fees -- even if I'm desperately ill or dead. I don't know how to "go paperless" and keep my children informed at the same time. Abby, your column could create a national dialogue on this problem. Thank you. -- DEBORAH IN ST. CLOUD, MINN.

DEAR DEBORAH: Before you go paperless, make a list of all of your accounts and usernames and passwords. There is software that allows people to upload their account information into so-called "digital vaults" for storage. Alternatively, the information could be written down and placed with your health care and financial powers of attorney.

To make certain that everything goes smoothly should you become incapacitated, or in the event of your death, give a list of your current digital information to someone you trust, let people know who has that information, and leave instructions on how you want things handled.

DEAR ABBY: Last spring, my husband and I found out we're pregnant with our first child. We were thrilled, of course, but out of caution we decided not to tell anyone outside our immediate families for a few weeks.

I am a teacher at a large school and I decided to confide in my teaching assistant so she would understand if I seemed tired or I wasn't feeling well. She was excited. Within five minutes of my telling her, she had literally shouted the news to several other staff members. I asked her to please stop and, in particular, not to tell the students. The next day there was a large banner hanging over my classroom door that read: BUN IN THE OVEN! I was mortified and furious.

She thinks miscarriages won't happen if you think positive and that I'm just being negative. She is otherwise an excellent assistant. How do I deal with her refusal to remain quiet? -- ASSISTED BY A BLABBERMOUTH

DEAR ASSISTED: Now that you know you cannot share anything in confidence with your T.A., make a mental note not to make that mistake again. There's a saying, "Once two people know a secret, it is no longer a secret." All she had to do was tell one other person and the cat was out of the bag. Because she's an excellent teaching assistant, "deal" with her by telling her only what you would want broadcast over the public address system.