DEAR ABBY: I am 18 and live with my parents. I have a part-time job and I also attend a local university. My parents and I have always gotten along, and I have been obedient and respectful of their rules.

I have suffered from depression for years, but now I have finally met someone who makes me happy and feel like I am worth something. Abby, he is of a different race. This doesn't mean anything to me. I know he's a great guy and I really like him. The problem is, my parents are very racist.

They have done so much for me that I feel guilty dating someone they don't approve of. They have told me to never date someone like that. I am torn and ashamed of them, and I don't know what to do.

How do I break it to them? Am I wrong for being with a genuine, amazing guy who finally makes me happy? -- FINALLY MET SOMEONE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FINALLY MET SOMEONE: I'm glad you are finally feeling better about yourself as a person, but before discussing this with your parents, it would be better if you separate the issues of your chronic depression and your feelings for this young man.

If this relationship were to end for some reason, would you cycle back down? If your parents react badly -- as they may -- would you be able to live independently? Are your parents capable of moderating their attitude about people of a different race? And because racism can be universal, how does his family feel about you?

Please consider these questions carefully, because until you have the answers and are prepared to be out on your own, I don't think you should make any announcements.

DEAR ABBY: I run around with my sister "Pam" a lot. She is eight years older. She had a face-lift some years ago, and she continues to seek out cosmetic procedures to enhance her appearance. I have had Botox and fillers, but do not want a face-lift. I am trying to age gracefully, just at a slightly slower pace.

I love my sister and I think she looks beautiful. However, when Pam and I are together and tell people we're sisters, they always think I'm the older one. My feelings are hurt.

When our father died, I gained 30 pounds. Food was how I dealt with my grief. I have been working hard to get in better shape and lose weight. I am halfway to my goal, and proud of myself, but when these encounters happen, I get thrown. How do I answer people who ask about the age difference and make those comments? -- YOUNGER ONE IN FLORIDA

DEAR YOUNGER ONE: Not everyone ages at the same rate, and I don't think the people who make those comments do it intending to be hurtful. With all the help she's getting, it's no wonder your sister appears younger.

If someone remarks about you appearing older, all you have to say is, "Nope! She's my BIG sister." And should someone comment on your appearance, be honest. Say you gained some weight, but you're working on taking it off and getting back into shape. It's no disgrace; it's admirable.

DEAR ABBY: I am 59 and have a steady, good-paying job. I was married for 20 years, but divorced 11 years ago. I am set in my ways.

I have been seeing a woman, "Melinda," for eight years now. She's 51 and also has a steady job. We live 30 miles apart. Our relationship has been somewhat rocky, but we have also had some really great times.

Melinda has said for years that she wants to get married. It makes me nervous. My hands sweat and I think of every excuse not to when she brings it up. I'm in love with her, but when she brings up marriage, I run and hide.

She feels our relationship should end so she'll be free to meet someone else and marry. She deserves that right, and I understand it. I struggle, though, when I don't hear from her, speak to her or I imagine her with someone else. It drives me nuts, and I end up contacting her. We start talking and things seem fine for a while, until the M-word is mentioned.

I suggested we move in together and see how it works, but it never happened. Abby, what is my problem? Why can't I get married? -- TORN & STRUGGLING IN ARIZONA

DEAR TORN & STRUGGLING: Your problem may be that your first marriage -- and probably your divorce -- left you marriage-averse. Because you're in love with Melinda and can't manage without her, let me suggest that you discuss this with a licensed mental health professional and see if you can get beyond your fears. Joint counseling with Melinda would also be helpful for both of you, to ensure there are fewer rocky patches in your relationship in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I have a special "Pennies From Heaven" story to share with you.

My dear grandmother recently lost her long battle with Alzheimer's. Toward the end, we weren't sure how aware she was, and if she understood us when we spoke to her. Tonight, my husband, my sister and I decided to have dinner at Grandma's house and go through her photos for her funeral.

After dinner, my sister asked if we had any chocolate. My husband said, "What about the chocolate in the refrigerator?" I hadn't seen any, but when I went to look, there was a packet of chocolate bars wedged in between the drawers. The expiration date on the wrapper was two years ago, when Grandma last lived in the house.

Abby, the refrigerator had been cleaned out multiple times, but somehow we missed the chocolate until today when we needed a sign from my grandmother that she was near.

Grandma was a Dear Abby fan. We found many of your clippings among her photos. I know she'd love it if you shared this story with your readers. -- JEAN'S GRANDDAUGHTER IN TENNESSEE

DEAR JEAN'S GRANDDAUGHTER: I'm glad to do it. And speaking as another chocoholic, that you found Grandma's stash in your time of need warmed my heart. I hope it lifted your spirits during what had to be an emotional time. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your dear grandmother.

DEAR ABBY: I'm almost 20. I have a well-paying job and live with my mother in a small town. My issue is I don't know how to break away from her.

My older siblings still live here, too. They don't help pay rent, utilities, groceries or anything. Mom and I pay for everything in a house of six people. My boyfriend and I have discussed living together, but I don't know how I will ever be able to leave. No one else helps Mom, and I don't want her to lose the house.

I know the solution is "everyone will have to pay their way." But they don't, and Mom won't enforce it. I want to help her because she's my mother, but I have my own life and I can't stay here forever.

How should I approach this with her? I don't want there to be bad feelings. I don't know if I'm selfish wanting to move in with my boyfriend, but I want a life of my own. -- STUCK IN THE WEST

DEAR STUCK: If your mother can't keep her house on her own, there are serious problems ahead for her. If she doesn't have the income to afford it, she may have to find a job or sell it.

It should not be your responsibility to support the family. Your siblings aren't contributing to the household because your mother has been enabling them to avoid it. Have a private conversation with her. Tell her you plan to move out, so you are giving her plenty of notice and a departure date.

I caution you, however, against moving in with your boyfriend if it's because of a desire to escape this unfair situation. It would be better for you to be economically independent and have experienced living on your own before moving in with anyone. That way, you will be less vulnerable should the romance not work out as envisioned, because not all of them do.

DEAR ABBY: One of my friends who I work with is getting married this summer. She recently asked me for my address and, since we also went to school together, asked me to give her a few other friends' addresses as well. So imagine my surprise when my friends all received invitations to her wedding in the mail and I did not.

I think it's possible that my invitation legitimately was lost in the mail or it may have been an honest oversight. However, I realize it's also possible that she wants to keep her wedding small and decided against inviting me.

How do I politely ask if I'm invited to her wedding? I've tried bringing up the subject in conversation at work, but I'm afraid it would be rude to directly ask if I'm still invited. I consider her a good friend and get along great with her fiance, so I'm thinking it was an honest mistake. -- TIRED OF BEING "MINNESOTA NICE"

DEAR TIRED: I don't think that being direct would be rude. Because you consider her a good friend, ask whether your wedding invitation could have been lost in the mail because it's possible it may have been. If she responds that you are not invited, you'll not only know where you stand, but also that SHE is NOT "Minnesota Nice."