DEAR ABBY: I am 32 and need advice on setting personal boundaries in my relationships. Simply put, I have a guy friend who has feelings for me that I don't have for him. We dated briefly. I broke it off, and we have continued as friends for two years.

He knows I'm not interested in an intimate relationship with him. However, he has made it clear through words and behavior that he's in love with me, almost to the point of obsession.

I feel he doesn't respect my personal space. We argue -- especially if he ends up crashing at my house after a night at the pub. I firmly tell him he can only sleep on my couch, but he'll weasel his way into my bed. I feel I'm enabling him in his clingy behavior because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I want to be able to act assertively with him and others. I want to stop being so passive, especially with men. Please advise me how to work on this. -- PUSHOVER IN VANCOUVER, CANADA

DEAR PUSHOVER: The man you describe appears to be under the impression that he can wear you down if he keeps at it long enough. He isn't interested in being your "friend"; he wants to be your lover.

Because you aren't interested in him that way, quit allowing him to sleep at your place. If he becomes so drunk he can't drive himself home, get him a taxi. Allowing him to sleep over and weasel himself into your bed sends him a mixed message, and that's a mistake.

To create effective boundaries, you must be clear about the messages you send to others. What you appear to need to work on is the ability to say no. Try it. You'll like it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time with my dad. He treats me like a little kid and refuses to recognize that I'm an adult who can make my own decisions. It makes it difficult for us to get along, and I have been spending less time with him because of it.

Abby, I am 40. I haven't lived at home for more than 20 years. I'm married with kids and hold a responsible job, but he still sees me as a little girl. An example: He will tell me how to do everyday tasks and remind me not to touch the stove or leave the lights on. In his mind, I never grew up.

It has always been this way with him. I have tried talking to him about it, but all he does is roll his eyes like I'm a teenager.

Dad is in his late 60s and I'd really like to have a relationship with him while he is still alive and healthy. Is there anything I can do to make him understand his perspective is skewed and he needs to change his behavior? -- DADDY'S GIRL

DEAR DADDY's GIRL: At his age, you aren't going to change your father. Your chances of improving your relationship with him will be better if you change the way you react to what he's doing, and realize he says the things he does because it's part of what he thinks is a parent's job. Once you see the humor in it, you'll stop feeling defensive and resenting him. Trust me, it will go a long way toward your having the adult relationship with him that you crave.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time letting my almost 17-year-old daughter out of my sight. When she walks home from school, I call to make sure she's OK, then call her again minutes later when I estimate she's home. The whole time I worry.

I check on her wherever she is, whomever she is with, and if she doesn't answer a call or text, I panic. I have on a few occasions raced home from work in the middle of the day only to find her napping, and I'm upset to the point that I'll start crying. I realize this isn't healthy for either of us.

Years ago, a little girl in our town, the same age as my daughter, was taken from her home and murdered. I think that plays a part in why I act so irrational. Some of her friends will be driving this summer and I can only imagine there will be trips to the beach (three nightmares in one!) and whatever else. I guess I just want to know how to come to grips. -- FRANTIC MOM OF A TEEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRANTIC: While your fears are based on a real incident, your daughter is no longer a little girl. You can't protect her forever, and as a teenager, she needs to establish some independence. You would be doing both of you a favor to talk to a licensed mental health counselor now about this, because your fears are excessive.

DEAR ABBY: I've reached the point in my life that I can no longer hide fine lines and crow's feet. It is bothering me greatly. How do other women handle it, especially when the deep lines form?

I've talked to others my age and it doesn't bother them. I want to talk to elderly people and ask them, but I don't know how to politely broach the subject. I feel guilty for being vain and I hate that, but it's hard for me to accept. Please help. -- HATING AGING IN EAU CLAIRE

DEAR HATING AGING: I don't think anyone, male or female, relishes the idea of being old -- particularly in American society -- unless they consider the alternative, which is death.

Men and women handle signs of aging in different ways. Fortunes have been spent on beauty products, with varying degrees of success, although hope-in-a-jar springs eternal. Board-certified dermatologists and plastic surgeons can minimize the signs of aging with fillers, Botox, lasers and surgery, but they can be expensive. Others accept that beauty comes from within and opt to do nothing to change their appearance.

Talking to people in their 70s, 80s or 90s about the changes they have experienced and the lessons they have learned as they grew older is a good idea. I'm sure you'll receive some enlightening input. But if it doesn't change your feelings, talk to a doctor because a good one can work "miracles."

DEAR ABBY: I live in Miami and my mother-in-law lives in Ohio. My husband just told me she is planning to move here and live with us. I don't mind her moving in with us because she is my mother-in-law, but her boyfriend of 15 years is also coming down. Her boyfriend's brother is moving to West Palm Beach. (It's the reason why they are moving.) Does it make me sound petty to say I don't want the boyfriend to move in with us? -- MOTHER-IN-LAW DILEMMA

DEAR DILEMMA: Petty? I don't think so. You are not running a boardinghouse. The boyfriend is no relation to you, and if you prefer not to have a stranger living under your roof, that should be your choice.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time getting over a secret my boyfriend, "Wayne," kept from me. We have been off and on for 14 years, but back on for the past four. The problem is, he had a child with a woman in a different country. The child is now 9. Wayne didn't mention it until four years ago, during our last breakup. It bothers me that he kept it from me.

I have since met the woman and the child, but my trust in my boyfriend is strained. In the back of my mind I keep wondering what else he hasn't told me. Abby, he was always against having kids with me. He said he didn't want any. Now I wonder if it was because he already had one.

Wayne is surprised I'm so challenged by this. He says he and the woman dated for only a few months, then broke up because he didn't feel they were compatible. She told me their child was the product of a one-night stand. Now I don't know who to believe. Please advise. -- BETRAYED OUT WEST

DEAR BETRAYED: There is a reason why you and Wayne have been "off and on" for 14 years, and I'm guessing it's because he has a problem with commitment. Now it appears he may also have a problem leveling with you. If you have to make a choice about whom to believe, I think you should believe the mother of his child because by telling you what she did, it's clear she wasn't trying to make herself look any better.

DEAR ABBY: My 85-year-old mother told me that upon her death she is leaving each of her children a letter expressing to them how they have hurt her throughout the years. Never once has she acknowledged how deeply she has hurt us. It affected our childhood and adulthood. I think if she feels we hurt her, she should say it to us while she's living.

It has always been about Mom's needs, not ours. I, for one, plan to put her unopened letter in her coffin to be buried with her when the time comes. Her letter is just a final hurtful arrow to stab us with, and I already have had a lifetime of that. I don't need her to damage me further.

Am I wrong? Normally parents leave heartwarming letters to give their children peace. She reads your column, so I hope she reconsiders. -- ALREADY WOUNDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ALREADY WOUNDED: You're not wrong. Your mother appears to be toxic. Sending her negativity down with her is a perfect solution in my opinion.

DEAR ABBY: I am an Irish-American man with a problem of the heart. I recently began reconnecting on social media with a girl I knew in high school. I wrote her several times, and she said what I wrote was very sweet and kind. She told me, however, that she was seeing someone. I said I understood and did not want to mess up the relationship.

I decided to bide my time and hope she becomes free. I love her with all my heart, and this waiting is killing me. Should I keep biding my time and waiting, or should I move on? -- HOPING IN TENNESSEE

DEAR HOPING: When the woman told you she was seeing someone, she may have been trying to tell you kindly that she isn't interested in a romance with you. For you to put your life on hold waiting for a woman you haven't seen since high school would be a mistake, and that's why I'm advising you to move on.