DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time letting my almost 17-year-old daughter out of my sight. When she walks home from school, I call to make sure she's OK, then call her again minutes later when I estimate she's home. The whole time I worry.

I check on her wherever she is, whomever she is with, and if she doesn't answer a call or text, I panic. I have on a few occasions raced home from work in the middle of the day only to find her napping, and I'm upset to the point that I'll start crying. I realize this isn't healthy for either of us.

Years ago, a little girl in our town, the same age as my daughter, was taken from her home and murdered. I think that plays a part in why I act so irrational. Some of her friends will be driving this summer and I can only imagine there will be trips to the beach (three nightmares in one!) and whatever else. I guess I just want to know how to come to grips. -- FRANTIC MOM OF A TEEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRANTIC: While your fears are based on a real incident, your daughter is no longer a little girl. You can't protect her forever, and as a teenager, she needs to establish some independence. You would be doing both of you a favor to talk to a licensed mental health counselor now about this, because your fears are excessive.

DEAR ABBY: I've reached the point in my life that I can no longer hide fine lines and crow's feet. It is bothering me greatly. How do other women handle it, especially when the deep lines form?

I've talked to others my age and it doesn't bother them. I want to talk to elderly people and ask them, but I don't know how to politely broach the subject. I feel guilty for being vain and I hate that, but it's hard for me to accept. Please help. -- HATING AGING IN EAU CLAIRE

DEAR HATING AGING: I don't think anyone, male or female, relishes the idea of being old -- particularly in American society -- unless they consider the alternative, which is death.

Men and women handle signs of aging in different ways. Fortunes have been spent on beauty products, with varying degrees of success, although hope-in-a-jar springs eternal. Board-certified dermatologists and plastic surgeons can minimize the signs of aging with fillers, Botox, lasers and surgery, but they can be expensive. Others accept that beauty comes from within and opt to do nothing to change their appearance.

Talking to people in their 70s, 80s or 90s about the changes they have experienced and the lessons they have learned as they grew older is a good idea. I'm sure you'll receive some enlightening input. But if it doesn't change your feelings, talk to a doctor because a good one can work "miracles."

DEAR ABBY: I live in Miami and my mother-in-law lives in Ohio. My husband just told me she is planning to move here and live with us. I don't mind her moving in with us because she is my mother-in-law, but her boyfriend of 15 years is also coming down. Her boyfriend's brother is moving to West Palm Beach. (It's the reason why they are moving.) Does it make me sound petty to say I don't want the boyfriend to move in with us? -- MOTHER-IN-LAW DILEMMA

DEAR DILEMMA: Petty? I don't think so. You are not running a boardinghouse. The boyfriend is no relation to you, and if you prefer not to have a stranger living under your roof, that should be your choice.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time getting over a secret my boyfriend, "Wayne," kept from me. We have been off and on for 14 years, but back on for the past four. The problem is, he had a child with a woman in a different country. The child is now 9. Wayne didn't mention it until four years ago, during our last breakup. It bothers me that he kept it from me.

I have since met the woman and the child, but my trust in my boyfriend is strained. In the back of my mind I keep wondering what else he hasn't told me. Abby, he was always against having kids with me. He said he didn't want any. Now I wonder if it was because he already had one.

Wayne is surprised I'm so challenged by this. He says he and the woman dated for only a few months, then broke up because he didn't feel they were compatible. She told me their child was the product of a one-night stand. Now I don't know who to believe. Please advise. -- BETRAYED OUT WEST

DEAR BETRAYED: There is a reason why you and Wayne have been "off and on" for 14 years, and I'm guessing it's because he has a problem with commitment. Now it appears he may also have a problem leveling with you. If you have to make a choice about whom to believe, I think you should believe the mother of his child because by telling you what she did, it's clear she wasn't trying to make herself look any better.

DEAR ABBY: My 85-year-old mother told me that upon her death she is leaving each of her children a letter expressing to them how they have hurt her throughout the years. Never once has she acknowledged how deeply she has hurt us. It affected our childhood and adulthood. I think if she feels we hurt her, she should say it to us while she's living.

It has always been about Mom's needs, not ours. I, for one, plan to put her unopened letter in her coffin to be buried with her when the time comes. Her letter is just a final hurtful arrow to stab us with, and I already have had a lifetime of that. I don't need her to damage me further.

Am I wrong? Normally parents leave heartwarming letters to give their children peace. She reads your column, so I hope she reconsiders. -- ALREADY WOUNDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ALREADY WOUNDED: You're not wrong. Your mother appears to be toxic. Sending her negativity down with her is a perfect solution in my opinion.

DEAR ABBY: I am an Irish-American man with a problem of the heart. I recently began reconnecting on social media with a girl I knew in high school. I wrote her several times, and she said what I wrote was very sweet and kind. She told me, however, that she was seeing someone. I said I understood and did not want to mess up the relationship.

I decided to bide my time and hope she becomes free. I love her with all my heart, and this waiting is killing me. Should I keep biding my time and waiting, or should I move on? -- HOPING IN TENNESSEE

DEAR HOPING: When the woman told you she was seeing someone, she may have been trying to tell you kindly that she isn't interested in a romance with you. For you to put your life on hold waiting for a woman you haven't seen since high school would be a mistake, and that's why I'm advising you to move on.

DEAR ABBY: We have two lovely daughters in their 20s. The older one lives with her boyfriend. They are expecting a baby soon. Our younger daughter lives with us, and she's planning on moving in with her boyfriend.

We're an old married couple, and we're not sure how to treat our daughters' boyfriends. However, "Gerald" is the father of our new grandchild, and we think of him as family. "Joel" is a great guy who is in love with our younger daughter and vice versa, so we think of him as family, too.

We stumbled through the holidays not knowing if we should get gifts for them. Joel is having a birthday soon. Should we get him a gift? We want to bring the boyfriends into our family and treat them like our children, but we don't know if we're overstepping our bounds. Can we start treating them like sons and wait for them to correct us? -- STUMBLING IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR STUMBLING: Stop stumbling. I can't think of a better way to draw your daughters' significant others into your family than to open your hearts, let them know they are welcome and treat them that way.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and will start my senior year of high school next fall. Recently, I started talking to this boy in my cooking class named "Ethan." He's a year older, but I decided to make the first move. We went on a few dates and he was quiet, reserved and respectful. Overall, he's a nice guy.

At first the fact that he's only an inch taller than I am bothered me. But then he told me about a foot deformity he has. He said two of his toes on each foot are attached and he calls them "webbed." When he sent me a photo one day to prove it, I realized his toes were almost entirely attached and I freaked out. I don't know how to feel. Am I being shallow? -- NERVOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NERVOUS: No, I think you're being foolish. Ethan's toes are his issue, and you appear to be making it yours. You say he's a nice guy. Try to remember you are not dating his feet, you are dating the person to which they are appended, and a person's toes are not the measure of his character.

P.S. This is an excellent example of why it's unwise to send photos of one's anatomy.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married for the second time. Some of the guests were invited to her first wedding and will be invited to her second one as well.

As her mother, I don't feel right about expecting certain guests who have already given her one wedding gift to give her another at the second wedding. How would you suggest we convey to this "select group" that a gift is not expected from them? Would it be proper to state something such as "Your presence is our present"? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE, AGAIN

DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE: No mention of gifts should be made in your daughter's wedding invitation. I agree that guests who gave your daughter gifts for her first wedding should not feel compelled to buy her anything more than a token gift for this one. This goes for any guest who attended the first wedding, not just "select" guests, whatever that means. Any discussion regarding gifts should be done verbally by you if you are hosting the wedding.