DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time getting over a secret my boyfriend, "Wayne," kept from me. We have been off and on for 14 years, but back on for the past four. The problem is, he had a child with a woman in a different country. The child is now 9. Wayne didn't mention it until four years ago, during our last breakup. It bothers me that he kept it from me.
I have since met the woman and the child, but my trust in my boyfriend is strained. In the back of my mind I keep wondering what else he hasn't told me. Abby, he was always against having kids with me. He said he didn't want any. Now I wonder if it was because he already had one.
Wayne is surprised I'm so challenged by this. He says he and the woman dated for only a few months, then broke up because he didn't feel they were compatible. She told me their child was the product of a one-night stand. Now I don't know who to believe. Please advise. -- BETRAYED OUT WEST
DEAR BETRAYED: There is a reason why you and Wayne have been "off and on" for 14 years, and I'm guessing it's because he has a problem with commitment. Now it appears he may also have a problem leveling with you. If you have to make a choice about whom to believe, I think you should believe the mother of his child because by telling you what she did, it's clear she wasn't trying to make herself look any better.