DEAR ABBY: My son's dad cheated on me for years, which resulted in a child with another woman. When I finally got the nerve to date and trust again, the new guy gave me herpes.

Now I find myself repulsed at the thought of sex, and I have no intention of putting myself in the position of having to disclose this information to a new partner. I am content to never have sex again.

The problem is, I have a young son who longs for a father and has asked on several occasions why I won't get a boyfriend. I feel it is unfair to him to miss out on something so important as having a father, but I can't stomach the thought of being with another man. What should I tell him? -- DISGUSTED AND ALONE

DEAR DISGUSTED: Tell your son a version of the truth -- with some judicious editing. Tell him that you were very much in love with his father, but that it didn't work out. Explain that finding the right partner can take a long time -- it's the truth -- and you're not sure when you will be able to provide a father for him. If he wants to know why, tell him your heart isn't ready.

While it's understandable that you would have trust issues after what you have experienced, not all men are cheaters, and a surprising number of people in the United States who have herpes (HSV-2) do not know they have it -- and that they can infect others. This may have been the case with the man from whom you caught it.

If you are reluctant to disclose this information because of embarrassment, there is a website that you might find interesting, H-Date.com. It offers a free dating service through which thousands of men and women meet one another. Many very nice, eligible people -- people just like you -- have herpes and live full, happy lives. Please check it out.

DEAR ABBY: I have been asked to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. I am more than delighted she wants me and honored to have been asked. However, this will be my third wedding as a bridesmaid.

I have been told, "Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride." Abby, is this true? If so, how can I gently let her know I can't be in her wedding for fear of never being married myself, because her wedding will be my third trip to the altar as a bridesmaid? -- ENOUGH ALREADY

DEAR ENOUGH ALREADY: I don't know where that saying came from, but my advice is not to dwell on the negative. There is another old saying that could apply here. It's "three times is the charm." In other words, if you agree to be your best friend's bridesmaid, it's possible you could meet your future husband at the wedding. Which one you choose to believe is up to you.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my prayer of thanks to those men and women of our armed services who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace.

DEAR ABBY: "Lest we forget" -- these three simple, but very meaningful words are a reminder to always remember the sacrifices made for our freedom.

I recently read about a Vietnam veteran who will never forget Memorial Day in 1970. He was wounded in the jungles on that day, fighting for his life with his comrades. Almost his entire company had been wounded or killed during an early morning attack by the North Vietnamese army. Although he was the first wounded, the first to die were soldiers on either side of him. Not a Memorial Day goes by without him hearing from his remaining comrades. They, too, have never forgotten that deadly attack because they experienced the holiday's true meaning.

A patriotic organization, No Greater Love (ngl.org), initiated the National Moment of Remembrance established by Congress in 2000. At 3 p.m. on Memorial Day, Americans are asked to pause wherever they are to honor those who have died for our freedom throughout history.

For more than 40 years, the AFL-CIO, North America's Building Trades Unions, Ironworkers, Fire Fighters and the Sheet Metal, Air, Rail and Transportation Workers -- in union with No Greater Love -- have honored our fallen, our troops, our veterans and their families, and have participated in the National Moment of Remembrance. And Major League Baseball games will also observe the Moment. This is a moment of love -- a love for those we honor and their families and a love of God and country.

Let us never forget. Remember to pause and say a prayer at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day. -- CARMELLA LaSPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE

DEAR CARMELLA: Thank you for the timely reminder. Readers, tomorrow is Memorial Day. I know many of you will be busy with barbecues at the park, swimming and sunning at the beach, shopping in the malls, or watching baseball in person or on television. But please, folks, take a moment and join me in participating in the Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m. because that's what this holiday is really all about.

DEAR ABBY: I am tired and disgusted hearing our friends brag about their travels to Alaska, Italy, Hawaii, etc., while my husband and I are financially and medically unable to do such things. One of my longtime "friends" is actually taking a friend of hers to London, all expenses paid.

This is hard for me to swallow. How can I remove myself from this kind of talk and still maintain friendships? -- ON THE GROUND IN OREGON

DEAR ON THE GROUND: I can think of two ways. The first would be to tell your closest longtime friends that you would prefer not hearing about their adventures because, considering your circumstances, it is depressing. The other would be to discuss with your husband and your doctor the feasibility of planning an inexpensive getaway to someplace nearby so you won't feel so left out.

DEAR ABBY: I was a full-time summer nanny for several years for the same family, now a preteen boy and girl. I loved them, had a great time on the job and have communicated with them occasionally through the years on birthdays and holidays. Eventually, I moved away for college and was no longer able to sit for them.

Both kids now are on Facebook, and I (foolishly) accepted their friend requests. I use Facebook to keep in touch with family members or for school group projects, so I am on only once or twice a week.

The girl messages me almost daily with "Hey" or similar short things. I am unable to dedicate time to this kind of interaction even within my own age group, but I feel bad leaving so many messages unanswered. What can I tell her? I'd love to catch up around holiday times like we used to, but I'd like to be left alone online. -- BUSY, BUSY IN CHICAGO

DEAR BUSY: As I see it, you have a choice: Tell her the truth, and explain it just as you have written to me, or contact her parents and have them explain it to her.

DEAR ABBY: My mom and dad are fighting and getting mad at each other a lot. I am trying my best to make them happy with each other, but nothing seems to work. They told me they would always be happy together, but it does not look like it right now. What do I do? -- NEEDING HELP IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDING HELP: I have heard from young readers who told me their greatest fear was that their parents would divorce. But sometimes there are worse things than being a child of divorce, and one of them is living in a household filled with tension and parents who constantly argue and fight.

You are not the cause of their unhappiness, and you cannot "fix" what's wrong in their marriage. Although you might wish to be the peacemaker, you must accept that it is not your responsibility. A marriage counselor might be able to help them iron out their differences, but the person to suggest it should be another adult; if possible, it should be a relative.

DEAR ABBY: I am a public school teacher with an etiquette question. I receive gifts at class parties that occur at Christmas, Valentine's Day and the end of the year. When I do, I respond with a written thank-you note a few days later.

However, during the course of the year, I also receive thank-you cards for being a child's teacher, tutor or club sponsor. Many times these thank-you cards contain gift cards. If I open it in front of the giver, I always give a verbal thank-you, but is it required to write a thank-you for a thank-you? -- WANTS TO DO IT RIGHT

DEAR WANTS TO DO IT RIGHT: A thank-you for a thank-you is not required. However, a thank-you that's accompanied by a gift should be acknowledged with a written note.