DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced mother of four. I have been single for three years, since my ex chose an affair over our marriage. I am successful and manage my home and finances.

I am, however, struggling with pressure from my ex to get back together. He had several affairs during the 13 years we were married. The pain and self-loathing were unbearable for me. He hasn't changed. Yet he tells our 14-year-old son, "Jackson," that he still loves me and "wants only to be with me." He also told Jackson that he doesn't know why I have chosen to keep our family broken up.

I moved hundreds of miles to get away from this stress. I have a great job and a lovely home. My son stays mad at me, though. He has chosen to live with his dad, and when he visits he demands explanations for why I am not with them. It breaks my heart. I genuinely do not know what to tell him.

His father has already told him about the affairs, but says I should forgive him. Ironically, I do forgive him. I want my ex to have a beautiful life -- without me. What can a mother say to her son to help him understand that some things just won't mend? -- MOVED ON IN ALABAMA

DEAR MOVED ON: You would be doing your son a favor to tell him the truth. As it stands, he thinks that a husband having affairs is nothing serious because that's what his father has told him.

Now it's time to tell Jackson that his father didn't do this just once, he did it repeatedly. Explain that you tried forgiving him, and it only caused you more heartache. Tell your son you love him and you're sorry he's angry at you, but it's clear that his father isn't going to change. And that you would rather remain single than let him touch your body -- or your heart -- again.

If you do, it may teach Jackson that not all women will accept this kind of treatment and endlessly forgive. If you don't, he may follow his father's example and turn out just like dear old dad.

DEAR ABBY: I live in my parents' home. They are long-haul truck drivers and come home every eight weeks or so for a few days. I'm disabled and have a caregiver who comes four days a week.

When my parents stop in and the caregiver is here, they expect her to do for them. They keep four dogs on the truck they take with them and leave four dogs at home with me -- so that's eight dogs when they are here. I am extremely grateful for this home and I love them very much, but right now I feel like a house/dog-sitter.

My son has invited me to go on vacation with his family. Is it my responsibility to make arrangements for the dogs they have left here? I feel like a prisoner in my own home. -- HOUSE-SITTER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HOUSE-SITTER: Because the dogs have been left in your keeping, the responsibility for assuring their safety and well-being in your parents' absence belongs to you. Ask your parents if they would mind a pet-sitter staying in the house when you vacation with your son, or if they would prefer the dogs be placed in a kennel.

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago you published a "Do Not Call" number for unsolicited phone calls. It worked great for a long time. I'm now starting to receive a lot of these calls again.

I am elderly (88), arthritic, and I struggle getting out of my chair to answer the phone because I think it's a family member or friend calling. Do you still have that number? I think a lot of people would like to have it. -- CARRIE IN QUINCY, MASS.

DEAR CARRIE: I went searching for the number of the Do Not Call Registry and found it in my Consumer Action Handbook, which is published by the GSA Federal Citizen Information Center. The toll-free number is 888-382-1222.

If, after your number has been in the National Registry for three months, you continue to receive calls, you can file a formal complaint using the same toll-free number. This will stop most -- but not all -- telemarketing calls. Unfortunately, calls from political organizations, charities, telephone surveyors and some organizations with which you already have a relationship are still permitted.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is having a baby. Her baby shower is being given by one of her close friends. I made it clear that I did not want to know the gender of the baby before the birth, that I'm content to enjoy the suspense. I did not attend the "reveal" party that was held several months ago.

When my shower invitation arrived, it was pink and began with "It's A Girl!" Isn't it rude to ignore another person's feelings even if you think they are silly?

I won't say anything about this to my daughter because I want her to enjoy her party, but maybe this will help others who would prefer waiting for the surprise. Am I wrong to have expected my invitation to be non-gender-specific? -- GRANNY-TO-BE

DEAR GRANNY-TO-BE: Yes, I think you are wrong. In this day of sonograms and gender-reveal parties, you are in the minority with your preference to be kept in the dark. Rather than being rude, what probably happened was a person who was unaware of your preference sent your invitation as part of a batch -- and pink is the theme of the party.

DEAR ABBY: My longtime 91-year-old friend is healthy but suffers from dementia. Her frequent fearful thoughts are centered around (imaginary) intruders who lurk somewhere upstairs or in the garage and are robbing her.

I try to tell her this is only in her mind, that they are not real, to no avail. What else can I say or do? Her son comes three times a week to clean her house and cook good meals for her, but he doesn't live there. -- CONCERNED FRIEND OUT WEST

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: Talk to her son and find out whether he knows what she has been telling you. If he has removed anything from his mother's house, he should remind her. If he hasn't -- and nothing is missing -- then his mother's doctor should be made aware that she is anxious and fearful and may be having hallucinations, because there may be a medication that can calm her.

P.S. It couldn't hurt to check the attic for critters.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I will be legally divorced within a few weeks. We have a 1-year-old son. Although we have been separated for eight months, she is an awesome mother to our son. A man could not ask for a better lady to care for his child. We don't talk about much other than our son. We are no longer in love, but I can honestly say I love her for who she is -- the mother of my child.

Mother's Day is here and I would like her to know how much I appreciate all she has done, is doing and will do for our boy. Would it be appropriate to send a quick message expressing this to her? Or should I leave it alone? -- HOUSTON DADDY

DEAR DADDY: I'm a firm believer that if you think something nice, you should share it. You should absolutely express your thoughts. While the two of you may no longer be in love, I'm sure she would be gratified to know that she has your respect and appreciation. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: For several years after my wife and I married, we could not have a child. Then God smiled on us. We adopted a precious boy and later a girl, and our lives changed forever.

Every year on Mother's Day, my thoughts turn to my wife, my mother and my wife's mother. But there is also always that special feeling for the birth mothers of my children. Were it not for their unselfish love, I would not be writing this letter.

So, birth mothers, if you wonder what became of the children you presented for adoption, they have grown up, they have been loved and they are happy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your gift of love to us. You will never be forgotten. -- PROUD ADOPTIVE FATHER

DEAR FATHER: Surrounded by so much love and gratitude, I'm sure your children have developed into successful adults.

DEAR ABBY: Last year was my first Mother's Day without my mom. Because I was feeling down, I bought a bouquet of flowers, carried it to a nursing home, handed it to a nurse and asked her to give it to a mom who wouldn't get anything for Mother's Day. It was bittersweet, but it boosted my spirits on what was a sad day. Just wanted to share. -- GWEN'S SON IN OHIO

DEAR SON: Thank you for sharing. I miss my mom, too. Gwen must have been a lovely, caring person to have raised such a thoughtful son.

DEAR ABBY: For Mother's Day, I want to say how much I love and appreciate my mom. I can never thank her enough for adopting me when I was a sick and abandoned infant. She has been to hell and back with me, but has never condemned my actions. She would just pick me up and point me in the right direction.

It has been 57 years since God sent this angel to save me (with my dad as backup), and she still guides me every day. Her kind smile and words literally saved my life. -- LOVED IN OMAHA

DEAR READERS: Today I'm wishing a happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers and grandmothers who are raising grandchildren. For what you do, I salute you. LOVE, ABBY