DEAR ABBY: Many years ago you published a "Do Not Call" number for unsolicited phone calls. It worked great for a long time. I'm now starting to receive a lot of these calls again.

I am elderly (88), arthritic, and I struggle getting out of my chair to answer the phone because I think it's a family member or friend calling. Do you still have that number? I think a lot of people would like to have it. -- CARRIE IN QUINCY, MASS.

DEAR CARRIE: I went searching for the number of the Do Not Call Registry and found it in my Consumer Action Handbook, which is published by the GSA Federal Citizen Information Center. The toll-free number is 888-382-1222.

If, after your number has been in the National Registry for three months, you continue to receive calls, you can file a formal complaint using the same toll-free number. This will stop most -- but not all -- telemarketing calls. Unfortunately, calls from political organizations, charities, telephone surveyors and some organizations with which you already have a relationship are still permitted.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is having a baby. Her baby shower is being given by one of her close friends. I made it clear that I did not want to know the gender of the baby before the birth, that I'm content to enjoy the suspense. I did not attend the "reveal" party that was held several months ago.

When my shower invitation arrived, it was pink and began with "It's A Girl!" Isn't it rude to ignore another person's feelings even if you think they are silly?

I won't say anything about this to my daughter because I want her to enjoy her party, but maybe this will help others who would prefer waiting for the surprise. Am I wrong to have expected my invitation to be non-gender-specific? -- GRANNY-TO-BE

DEAR GRANNY-TO-BE: Yes, I think you are wrong. In this day of sonograms and gender-reveal parties, you are in the minority with your preference to be kept in the dark. Rather than being rude, what probably happened was a person who was unaware of your preference sent your invitation as part of a batch -- and pink is the theme of the party.

DEAR ABBY: My longtime 91-year-old friend is healthy but suffers from dementia. Her frequent fearful thoughts are centered around (imaginary) intruders who lurk somewhere upstairs or in the garage and are robbing her.

I try to tell her this is only in her mind, that they are not real, to no avail. What else can I say or do? Her son comes three times a week to clean her house and cook good meals for her, but he doesn't live there. -- CONCERNED FRIEND OUT WEST

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: Talk to her son and find out whether he knows what she has been telling you. If he has removed anything from his mother's house, he should remind her. If he hasn't -- and nothing is missing -- then his mother's doctor should be made aware that she is anxious and fearful and may be having hallucinations, because there may be a medication that can calm her.

P.S. It couldn't hurt to check the attic for critters.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I will be legally divorced within a few weeks. We have a 1-year-old son. Although we have been separated for eight months, she is an awesome mother to our son. A man could not ask for a better lady to care for his child. We don't talk about much other than our son. We are no longer in love, but I can honestly say I love her for who she is -- the mother of my child.

Mother's Day is here and I would like her to know how much I appreciate all she has done, is doing and will do for our boy. Would it be appropriate to send a quick message expressing this to her? Or should I leave it alone? -- HOUSTON DADDY

DEAR DADDY: I'm a firm believer that if you think something nice, you should share it. You should absolutely express your thoughts. While the two of you may no longer be in love, I'm sure she would be gratified to know that she has your respect and appreciation. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: For several years after my wife and I married, we could not have a child. Then God smiled on us. We adopted a precious boy and later a girl, and our lives changed forever.

Every year on Mother's Day, my thoughts turn to my wife, my mother and my wife's mother. But there is also always that special feeling for the birth mothers of my children. Were it not for their unselfish love, I would not be writing this letter.

So, birth mothers, if you wonder what became of the children you presented for adoption, they have grown up, they have been loved and they are happy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your gift of love to us. You will never be forgotten. -- PROUD ADOPTIVE FATHER

DEAR FATHER: Surrounded by so much love and gratitude, I'm sure your children have developed into successful adults.

DEAR ABBY: Last year was my first Mother's Day without my mom. Because I was feeling down, I bought a bouquet of flowers, carried it to a nursing home, handed it to a nurse and asked her to give it to a mom who wouldn't get anything for Mother's Day. It was bittersweet, but it boosted my spirits on what was a sad day. Just wanted to share. -- GWEN'S SON IN OHIO

DEAR SON: Thank you for sharing. I miss my mom, too. Gwen must have been a lovely, caring person to have raised such a thoughtful son.

DEAR ABBY: For Mother's Day, I want to say how much I love and appreciate my mom. I can never thank her enough for adopting me when I was a sick and abandoned infant. She has been to hell and back with me, but has never condemned my actions. She would just pick me up and point me in the right direction.

It has been 57 years since God sent this angel to save me (with my dad as backup), and she still guides me every day. Her kind smile and words literally saved my life. -- LOVED IN OMAHA

DEAR READERS: Today I'm wishing a happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers and grandmothers who are raising grandchildren. For what you do, I salute you. LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Brandon" for three years. I'm 19, going to a four-year college and I'm planning to move in with him. I enjoy his company and can see myself with him in the future, but I wish I hadn't met him so young. I wish I could have experienced more -- other people and situations. I'm afraid I'm falling into a trap where it is more convenient to stay with Brandon.

I don't want to feel confined, but I also don't want to break up with him and find it was the worst decision of my life. We have discussed it. He said he will understand if I want to leave, but I'm afraid it might destroy him.

I enjoy being around Brandon, but I don't want to stay if it means missing half my life. He isn't the most attractive guy compared to others, so maybe that's where all this is coming from. More attractive guys talk to me, and I assume they would treat me as well as Brandon does. Maybe that's what has got me thinking. Some advice, please? -- NOT SURE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NOT SURE: Feeling as ambivalent as you do, do not move in with Brandon. To do so would be cheating both of you. Because someone seems more physically attractive than your boyfriend does not guarantee the person would treat you as well -- or better -- than Brandon does. However, this is a lesson you may need to experience firsthand.

It could also be a growth experience for Brandon to date others. He has already told you he will understand if you leave, so he may be emotionally stronger than you give him credit for. This does not mean you won't eventually wind up together, but it may make you both more appreciative of the special relationship you share because you will have something to compare it to.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl who would like to fix my relationship with my mom. I love her dearly, but sometimes it is difficult to spend time with her. We have different tastes in music, clothes and what is fun. I know she notices the distance between us and would like to spend more time together, but the things she suggests we do don't appeal to me.

Dad and I are close, which is probably because he's more like a kid. We have similar likes, and he isn't as overprotective as Mom is. We're more like friends than father and daughter.

I really want to be closer to Mom, but I don't know how to do it so we'll both be satisfied. Is this a normal teen thing? -- MAKING AN EFFORT

DEAR MAKING AN EFFORT: Yes, I think so. However, I'm pleased that you want to build a closer relationship with your mother because, at your age, it's important. Being a mother these days isn't easy, especially if being the disciplinarian and drawing the line is a role that was "assigned" to her by an overly permissive father who prefers to be more of a pal than a parent.

You and your mother need to compromise regarding the things you do when you're spending time together. Part of the time, try the things she wants to do. If you do, you might surprise yourself and discover you enjoy them -- and vice versa. Talk to her about your desire to be closer to her and give it a chance. I'm sure the result will be rewarding for both of you.