DEAR ABBY: Our amazing daughters are in their late 20s. Both of them are independent, intelligent and loving. The four of us have a special bond. My wife and I have always been supportive in all aspects of our daughters' lives, and that will never change.

They have been dating great guys over the past five years whom we believe they will ultimately marry. The problem? My wife and I were raised with certain values, and our daughters have recently moved in with their boyfriends. We do not approve, but respect their decisions as adults.

One daughter plans to have an open-house party celebrating their new place. She's upset that my wife and I have indicated we won't be attending, because doing so would be difficult and against our beliefs. We have understood her decision, but she does not appear to respect ours. Are we wrong to take this stance? -- AGAINST THE TIDE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR AGAINST: I think so. Your daughter is an adult. Do you plan to continue "punishing" her and the man you say you approve of until they tie the knot? She and her boyfriend have been a couple for five years now, and their relationship appears to be progressing nicely. It's not unusual for couples today to live together. I see nothing to be gained by skipping their open house -- but I do see something to lose.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's grandmother keeps purchasing season tickets to the theater for me. I have told my mother-in-law (who is in charge of buying the tickets) as politely as possible that summer is a very busy time for me. My kids, husband and I are all involved in activities, and the theater conflicts with these activities.

As well, I don't particularly enjoy the group of people that we go there with. (I haven't shared this with my mother-in-law.) While I like my mother-in-law and husband's grandmother, the others are rude. They exclude me from conversations and hardly acknowledge my existence. I try to make conversation but unsuccessfully. It makes for a dreadfully awkward evening.

How do I get out of going to the theater without hurting anyone's feelings? -- NO THANKS IN CANADA

DEAR NO THANKS: The most effective way to accomplish that would be to stop beating around the bush and tell your husband's mother and grandmother you would prefer not to be included, and the reason why.

DEAR ABBY: I like a girl but don't know if she likes me. I went to a school dance with her, but that's about it. I'm a choosy person, but everything seems right about her.

I never had a girlfriend before. Am I doing something wrong? I really want to be in a relationship with her, but I don't want to get rejected. I hate that feeling. Can you give me advice on what to do? -- IN LIKE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR IN LIKE: There is a saying, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." It means that in order to succeed, you have to try. In dating relationships, there is always some risk of rejection, and it applies to girls as well as boys. If you want a relationship with her, stop being afraid and start acting like it. Because she went to a dance with you, she probably already likes you, too.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I both have professional careers and are independent. We have been in a committed relationship for eight years now.

When we first met, I wasn't looking to be in a relationship. He pulled all the stops to get me to date him. He was attentive, complimentary, dinner dates, movies, etc. He was the first to say "I love you." Prince Charming had nothing on him.

When he knew I had finally fallen for him, the chase was over and everything came to a screeching halt. No more dates, no more I-love-yous. Everything he did to get me to fall in love with him stopped. The man I fell for doesn't exist anymore.

If I ask him if he loves me, he tells me I shouldn't be insecure and needy. I told him hearing the words mean a lot to me, but the words seem to have been deleted from his vocabulary. Any suggestions on how I can get him to understand how I need to hear it from him? -- LONGING FOR 'I LOVE YOU'

DEAR LONGING: You have already told your boyfriend what you need. Now it's time to find out why he is unwilling to give it to you. Then ask yourself if you want to continue like this indefinitely, because he appears to have changed considerably. Is he the kind of husband you would want for a lifetime? If not, you might be better off with someone more responsive, because this appears to be the status quo, and the man has shown himself to be unlikely to change.

DEAR ABBY: With technology the way it is today and everyone taking photos and videos of everyone around them, are there any new rules of etiquette? I'm asking because of a couple situations I've been in lately.

The other day I was kayaking with some people I met online. While I was rowing, struggling to catch up with those who were faster, breathing hard and sweating, a kayaker in front of me whom I had just met started videotaping me. I didn't want to be videotaped, but I didn't want to break my stride and explain.

Yesterday I was in a hot spring at a health spa, wearing a swimsuit. I looked up and a woman I didn't know was about to take a photo of two other women. I was in the background. Fortunately, I was able to leap out of the way, and the only part of me that might have been photographed was my backside.

In both situations I was uncomfortable, but I did nothing to stop it. What is a polite way to ask someone to stop? -- PHOTO-SHY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PHOTO-SHY: It's perfectly acceptable to say, "Please don't do that," or "Let me get out of range." If the photographer has any manners, he/she will accommodate you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband never gets me anything for Mother's Day. We have two children. He says, "You're not my mother!" What do you think? -- HURT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HURT: Is your husband the father of your children? If the answer is yes, I think the man you married is thoughtless, insensitive or cheap.

DEAR ABBY: I'm comfortable with my faith and pray before a meal at home and at friends' houses. We have become friendly with individuals from our church, and on many occasions have gone out to eat together at restaurants. When the meal is brought out, it has become a custom to pray. I feel uncomfortable praying aloud in public, and have seen others at our table already eating when someone says, "Let's pray."

My wife tells me to just go with it. But sometimes when the praying goes on for a lengthy time, I start to get sweaty and on the verge of a panic attack. I wish they would take into consideration that others may feel praying is a private matter. I don't believe that because one person doesn't want to do something, others shouldn't do it.

So what say you? When food is brought to the table, should I dash to the restroom, or would that be rude? -- PREFERS PRAYING PRIVATELY

DEAR P.P.P.: No rule of etiquette decrees that you must pray out loud if someone else chooses to. Obviously, others in the group feel as you do, or they wouldn't start eating. Because the situation makes you uncomfortable to the point of a panic attack, I think your solution to excuse yourself from the table for a few minutes is a good one -- provided you say over your shoulder that you could be gone "awhile" and no one should wait for you.

DEAR ABBY: It will be three years since my mother passed. Her house was sold and the money split among me and my two sisters. I opened a separate bank account for my inheritance money.

My partner of 16 years thinks I was wrong to do that and still throws it in my face. I spent the money on my children, grandchildren, taxes, bills, big flat-screen and stuff for him. (I also bought myself a pair of jeans.)

I felt the money was my gift from my mom. I told my partner that when his parents pass, whatever they leave him will be his. It doesn't matter how close I am to them. Your opinion, please, and no, he wasn't close to my mom. -- A GIFT FROM MY MOTHER

DEAR GIFT: In my opinion, your partner appears to be greedy and have an outsized sense of entitlement. If your mother had wanted your partner to get his hands on any of her estate, she would have put her wishes in writing.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended the funeral of my ex-husband's uncle. I wore a conservative suit in dark navy blue with a white blouse. Several family members criticized me for not wearing black. I assumed that because I'm no longer a family member, that I wasn't required to dress as one. Should I have worn black? -- DIVORCEE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DIVORCEE: No. You showed respect for the deceased by attending. Sometimes funerals (and weddings) bring out the worst rather than the best in people. I'm surprised your ex-husband's family took time out from their grief to notice what you were wearing. It appears no good deed goes unpunished.