DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a disagreement about one of our daughters (we have three). Our 8-year-old is very hairy. It is noticeable, and she doesn't like wearing shorts, skirts or dresses because of it. Her classmates tease her about it.

I want to teach her how to shave her legs or show her how to use hair remover. Her father is angry that I want to "do this" to his little girl.

I was a hairy child as well, and I was teased about my hairy legs and my unibrow, which my parents wouldn't let me shave or pluck. I remember how painful it was, how upset it made me and how different I felt from my classmates because of it. I told myself as a child that when I grew up, I'd never let my daughter go through the same torment. I still feel that way.

Should we wait a few more years, or should I buy the products I need and teach her what she'll be doing for the rest of her life? -- HAIRY SITUATION IN ARIZONA

DEAR H.S.: Your husband may mean well, but he may not realize what being the object of ridicule can do to a little girl's self-esteem. You're that child's mother, and you know what to do -- so do it. Sometimes girls have to stick together, and this is one of them.

DEAR ABBY: After 26 years of marriage, I recently left my husband. We live only a few blocks away from each other, so we run into each other often at the store, the gas station, everywhere.

My problem is more about running into some of the women he cheated on me with. One of them always ends up at the same shopping center or restaurant I happen to be at. She thinks I don't know who she is.

At first I didn't want to say anything to her, but now it has really gotten to me. What can I tell her the next time she meets up with me? I want to keep myself from yelling at her. Please help me. -- CAN'T FIND THE WORDS IN HOUSTON

DEAR CAN'T: You don't know whether the woman your ex cheated with is stable or some kind of wing nut. Sometimes it's safer not to be able to "find the words" rather than pick a fight. My advice is to avoid her as much as possible.

DEAR ABBY: I recently took a long international flight. The man sitting next to me coughed during the eight-hour flight without once covering his mouth.

What is a polite way to tell someone to cover his/her mouth when coughing? Two days into my trip, I developed a fever and a bad cough, so it seems he passed his illness on to me. -- FEVERISH FLIER

DEAR FLIER: Your seat partner showed an extreme lack of consideration not only for you, but also for other passengers seated in his immediate vicinity -- and it's very possible he infected others besides you. It is not impolite to ask people who cough and sneeze to please cover their mouth so you won't catch what they have, and that's what you should have done right away, or ask to change your seat if an unoccupied one was available.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to warn as many other young women as I can about the dangers of unprotected sex. I thought I had met the man of my dreams. I knew from the beginning he had a girlfriend in his hometown, but he assured me he was breaking it off, so I didn't think twice about starting a relationship.

Well, she moved here and found out about us. He swore to me that there was no one else besides her and me. We have now discovered a third girl -- his roommate -- with whom he was involved.

Abby, he used no protection with any of us. He swore to us all that he always used it and was regularly tested for STDs. Another lie.

Now his former girlfriend thinks she may have picked up an STD from him, and we all have to be tested to ensure we don't have one.

I now know you can't trust anything you're being told unless there's proof. Go with the guy to get tested and demand to be there for the results. If you suspect (or know) he's seeing someone else, always use protection and insist he be tested regularly.

All three of us could have saved our hearts, our bodies and a lot of turmoil if we hadn't been so trusting. This has left a lasting impression, and now we wonder whether we will be able to trust another man again. -- AWAITING THE RESULTS

DEAR AWAITING: Your "boyfriend" was dishonest and irresponsible. You can't be blamed for feeling bitter. Now might be a good time to re-evaluate whether premarital sex is worth the headache and the heartache.

That said, I can't help but wonder how you intended to avoid infection if you and the man of your dreams were having unprotected sex.

Please take this sad experience as a wake-up call, and schedule an appointment with your doctor to discuss all of the consequences that may result from unprotected sex in the 21st century. There are many -- and an inability to trust is among the least of them. If a man doesn't protect his partner, then it's up to her to protect herself -- both from pregnancy and from sexually transmitted diseases, which are rampant.

DEAR ABBY: I recently bought a new cellphone and was assigned a number by the company that sold it to me. I have been receiving calls and messages for the person who had the number before it was given to me. While the number of the person calling or texting comes up, I do not know the numbers of all my friends and associates, so I have been accepting the calls or texts.

At first, I would let the caller or texter know that the person he/she was trying to reach no longer had this number. However, it takes up my expensive minutes to make those replies. Am I under any obligation to contact these folks, or can I just ignore their contacts? -- POLITE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR POLITE: No rule of etiquette "compels" you to respond to these callers and texters, so consider yourself off the hook.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Rory," and I both come from close families. Whenever something is wrong, troublesome, etc., in either of our families, we have meetings where the entire immediate family comes together to discuss the issue.

The problem is, I am not invited to his! It's not like I'm a recent addition to this family. Rory and I dated for 15 years before getting married. My family started inviting him to our meetings after we had dated for a year, including discussions about my dad losing his job, my brother's stint in rehab and more.

Rory's family has had lots of similar meetings, but I am excluded because I am not a blood relative. Even when my husband lost his job, I was not invited to attend. I was left sitting out in the hallway with the children and the boyfriend of one of his other siblings.

I am Rory's wife. Shouldn't I be allowed in on the family discussions now that we're married, especially ones that center on my husband? Am I overreacting because I'm so angry about this? How can I overcome this exclusion from his family? -- WANTS TO JOIN IN

DEAR WANTS TO JOIN IN: You are not overreacting. If you haven't done so already, discuss this with your husband. He is the one who needs to make his family understand you are now a full-fledged member of the clan. If their line of thinking is followed to its logical conclusion, then no man or woman who marries in is fully accepted. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder," the saying goes. The tradition in Rory's family creates division, and it isn't healthy.

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for your readers. When you attend a funeral or a wake, or meet a friend or relative who has been recently widowed, don't say, "If there is anything I can do, just ask." Call the person in the near future and invite him or her to dinner with you. It doesn't have to be a steak dinner or anything fancy. A home-cooked pot roast would be wonderful.

Of all my friends, only one has done this several times. The phone rings and he'll say, "We're having spaghetti tonight. Would you like to come over? We'll throw in another meatball." I get so tired of going out alone to eat, or settling for a sandwich. -- GRATEFUL WIDOWER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GRATEFUL: When a death happens, sometimes people are well-intentioned, but they feel awkward and don't know what to do. Thank you for writing and giving me the opportunity to remind them that it isn't the food as much as it is the fellowship that matters at a time like this.

DEAR ABBY: The subject is email, which is how so many of us communicate nowadays. When one gets an email from a friend or relative, it seems to me only common courtesy in most cases to acknowledge it with a response, if only to say thanks. The reply need not be immediate, but there should be one, I think. Many people just don't reply. What do you think? -- TOM IN PALO ALTO

DEAR TOM: I think some people may be too busy to respond, particularly if the communication doesn't seem important or contain a question.