DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Barb," and I have been married for 21 years, and like any married couple, we've had our ups and downs. We recently visited my mom, a widow in her 80s. Barb caught a cold while we were there and needed to stay in bed while Mom and I visited family.

I noticed Mom was letting the cleanliness of her bathroom go, but Barb and I never discussed it. When we got home, our good neighbor friends told me that Barb had texted them a photo of Mom's bathroom while we were away. I was shocked and embarrassed. I feel like my wife was talking about me and my family behind my back. Barb insisted she was just poking fun at the situation. If that was the case, I should have been involved in the "fun."

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I feel like my trust and friendship have been violated. Am I overreacting? -- LEFT OUT IN INDIANA

DEAR LEFT OUT: Because this isn't the first time your wife has done something like this, and I presume you have let her know how you felt about it, I don't think you're overreacting.

Talk to your mother to see if there's a reason she's unable to keep up with her housework. She may need to be evaluated by her doctor to make sure she's OK. If something is wrong with her, it is not the least bit "funny." In fact, for your wife to subject your mother to ridicule is hostile. It's time to find out what's at the root of your wife's antics.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my 30-year-old boyfriend, "Jonah," for a year. He seems to be obsessively addicted to a computer video game he has played for five years. He plays many hours a day -- first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all his free time in between -- although he willingly goes on outings with me when I ask.

Even when Jonah isn't on his computer playing the game, he reads the discussion forums online with his mobile device. It's affecting our relationship. It also doesn't help that he recently lost his job.

I don't like seeing him waste his time on this and his lack of ambition about the important things in life. What can I do to help Jonah, or is this normal? -- GAME OVER IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR GAME OVER: When a hobby interferes with relationships, it is not "normal." Exactly when did Jonah become "obsessively addicted"? Was he this way when you met him? If this has been going on for the entire year you have been together, your boyfriend may be more comfortable in the cyber world than in this one. However, if this escalated when he lost his job, the video game may be his attempt to cope with depression.

Jonah would be better served by devoting the attention he's lavishing on the game to finding a job. If you want to help him, suggest that he spend more of his time in the real world until his life is settled again -- and tell him that if he's depressed, he should talk about it to his doctor.

DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old granddaughter is 5 feet 9 inches tall. She walks hunched over, and when she stands with a group, she keeps her legs 2 feet apart. She's on a softball team and is always sitting on the ground in the dugout.

She is the tallest one in the seventh grade in her school. Some of her classmates call her the "giant." I've been with her when someone approaches her who hasn't seen her in a while and says, "Wow! You've grown really tall."

She hates school and has no friends. She also happens to be very pretty. She's taller than anyone in the family. What can we do for her? -- GRANDPA IN INDIANA

DEAR GRANDPA: Being perceived as different at your granddaughter's age can be very painful. The best thing you can do for her right now is to be supportive.

Keep telling her that being tall is not only nothing to be ashamed of, but it can be an asset. Encourage her to find activities she is interested in. In addition to softball, she might excel at basketball or volleyball. Remind her that fashion models are tall women, many of whom were teased about their height when they were her age.

Tall women of note: Taylor Swift, Gisele Bundchen, Nicole Kidman, Venus and Serena Williams, Brooke Shields, Geena Davis and Michelle Obama come immediately to mind. First daughter Malia Obama was 5 feet 9 at 13, like your granddaughter. None of them is ashamed of their height; they "own" who they are and carry themselves with pride. Research modeling schools in your area because enrolling your granddaughter in some of the classes may help her to feel less awkward about her height.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 33-year-old single woman, a nurse who paid for my own education and am still trying to further it. I work a lot, have a nice car and I am remodeling my house. I make good money, but I have to take certain training, keep my licenses current, etc. I'm serious about my career, and I'm proud of myself.

I was talking to a friend the other day about dating, and I said I wouldn't date someone who made half or less than what I do. I was used as a cash cow in previous relationships and I'm not putting up with it anymore. This makes dating difficult at times, but I'm sticking to my guns. She said it makes me a snob because not everyone earns what I do.

Abby, I'm not a snob by any means. I'm generous toward my loved ones. But I feel that in this day and age, people can always better themselves like I have, and I don't want another man thinking I will support him. It's not fair to me. Any advice? -- LOOKING FOR MY EQUAL

DEAR LOOKING: Your friend was correct when she said not everyone has the earning capacity that you do. But you are right in your conviction that people can better themselves if they are determined to do it.

Considering your personal history, I don't think you're a snob for feeling the way you do. That said, however, I would hate to think you might exclude a great guy who earns less, because he could be helpful in other ways and have qualities the others don't.

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and recently decided to move to Denver to live with my high school sweetheart, "Logan." His sister "Emily" had been living with him for about a month before I moved in, and I expressed concerns about that. Logan assured me she'd be moving out soon and he didn't want to lose any time with me.

Since day one Emily and I have butted heads. She's a bartender who works three nights a week. She sleeps all day and doesn't help with bills or with cleanup. She also wastes money on her "habits." She has been mean to me, said spiteful things and caused problems between Logan and me.

I love Logan, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I'm at a loss as to what to do about his sister. We have talked about it many times, but things are only getting worse. Please help. -- CROWDED IN COLORADO

DEAR CROWDED: As you have probably noticed, you have nothing to gain and much to lose by further alienating his sister. A departure date for Emily should have been agreed upon before you moved in. Because that didn't happen, you are now in the position of an "interloper," and because you are judgmental about her lifestyle, that she would resent you and act out is understandable.

Be smart. Recognize that the current living arrangement isn't healthy for your relationship with Logan and move out. Do not ask him to choose between you and his sister. If Logan is as serious about you as you are about him, he may decide to choose on his own and encourage Emily to find a place to live as was originally planned.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Margaret," cheated on her husband for 30 years out of their 30-year marriage. Her husband had a visual impairment that led to blindness, and for the last 10 years he was completely dependent on her. I'm the only one in the family she confided in about her affairs all these years. We're both now in our 60s.

Margaret's husband died last year of cancer, and then her boyfriend left her because he wanted a real relationship and she did not. She was devastated about both events, but cannot let go of being rejected by her boyfriend.

I am sick and tired of hearing about this boyfriend and his and her choices. I never approved of how my sister lived her life. Margaret's husband was a good man who would do anything for her.

I recently suggested she speak to her grief counselor about this so she can find some peace in her life. Now she tells me she has cut me completely out of her life, but she continues to send me nasty emails. She's also bad-mouthing me to my brother and my children (who know nothing). How do I deal with this? -- TIRED OF HER DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

DEAR TIRED: You gave your troubled sister some good advice; it's a shame she didn't heed it. Now here's the way I recommend you deal with what she's doing: Tell your brother and your children everything you have written to me. After that, direct any emails you receive from your sister into trash without reading any more of them, ever. Do that, and you will find that like magic there will be less drama, turmoil and stress in your life.