life

Mother-in-Law's Prayer Is Just One of Many 'Keepers'

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 11th, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I recently lost my address book in which I kept a copy of your "Keepers" booklet that I had sent away for a few years ago. I love the memorable poems and essays in it.

I'd like to replace the booklet if it is available. I read through it so many times and now feel lost without it. I have read your advice for many years. Any help or information would be greatly appreciated. -- PENNY IN EUREKA, MO.

DEAR PENNY: I'm glad you enjoyed my "Keepers" booklet, and yes, it is available. It is light reading and contains poems and essays collected by my mother that have appeared in this column. So many readers requested reprints on humorous and inspirational items that hold special meaning for them that Mom decided to compile them into a booklet. To order a replacement for yours, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Allow me to share one of the gems that always makes me smile:

A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PRAYER

"O, Lord, help me to be glad when my son (or daughter) picks a mate. If he brings home a girl with two heads, let me love both of them equally. And when my son says, 'Mom, I want to get married,' forbid that I should blurt out, 'How far along is she?'

"And please, Lord, help me to get through the wedding preparations without a squabble with the 'other side.' And drive from my mind the belief that had my child waited awhile, he or she could have done better.

"Dear Lord, remind me daily that when I become a grandmother, my children don't want advice on how to raise their children any more than I did when I was raising mine.

"If you will help me to do these things, perhaps my children will find me a joy to be around, and maybe I won't have to write a 'Dear Abby' letter complaining about my children neglecting me. Amen."

Etiquette & Ethics
life

Courtesy Dictates: Once A President, Always A President

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 11th, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to know why they still call ex-presidents "president"? For example, President Clinton or President Bush. They clearly are not president any longer. -- JUST WONDERING IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR JUST WONDERING: True. However, this is a courtesy, a gesture of respect extended to individuals for their public service. Included in this category are retired former presidents, senators, governors, mayors and high-ranking military officers.

life

Happy Single Man Feels Pressure From His Friends

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 10th, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I have never had a long-term relationship. My friends and family kept calling me out for it. I tried online dating and setups by friends and family, but nothing worked out. In fact, the constant questions only annoyed me more. With all my friends happily married and settled, I started resenting their intrusion into my life.

A couple of years ago, I decided to take a break from dating because I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it. I never revealed this to my friends. After a few years of silence, my "well-wishers" began commenting again on my single status, and it annoys me to no end. I have started staying away from them.

Is there any way I can convince everyone that I am a normal straight male who just likes to be left alone? I enjoy get-togethers, as long as the topic of my singlehood doesn't become the joke of the day. Please advise. -- PRETTY COOL DUDE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PRETTY COOL DUDE: Talk to some of your close friends and tell them you are happy being single. Tell them their comments about your single status and being made to feel like the "joke of the day" isn't funny to you -- it's embarrassing. Tell them, just as you told me, that if it doesn't stop, they will be seeing less of you. Friends will be sensitive to your feelings, although occasionally they still may try to fix you up because some people can't resist the urge to matchmake.

P.S. Because all of your friends are married, try to form some new relationships with single people.

Love & Dating
life

Kids' Use Of Tablets In Church Gets Grandma's Blessing

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 10th, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I attend a small church with two of my grandchildren, ages 5 and 10. About 90 percent of the time they are the only children there. They are very active in the church and are the bell ringers, candle lighters and offering collectors. They partake in the welcoming and special prayers, lead the Pledge of Allegiance, sing songs and do communion when we have it.

I allow them to bring their iPads to occupy them during the sermon -- on silent, of course. I feel that because they participate so much in all other areas and the "adult" sermon is usually over their heads, there is no harm done. My sister, however, insists it is rude and disrespectful. She is constantly getting after them, telling them to put their iPads away and pay attention.

None of the other church members have a problem with it, not even the pastor. What do you think? Should they be able to continue to keep occupied and not be disruptive to others, or should they power them down? -- KEEPING THE PEACE IN MISSOURI

DEAR KEEPING THE PEACE: Right now those children are active, engaged and enthusiastic about participating in the services. I see nothing to be gained by forcing them to listen to a sermon they can neither relate to nor understand. Because the pastor and other church members have no objection to what your grandchildren are doing on their iPads, the person who should "power down" is your sister.

Etiquette & EthicsFamily & Parenting
life

Kidney Disease Often Goes Undetected Until It's Too Late

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 9th, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: Hypertension runs in my family, but as a pretty healthy 49-year-old, I didn't think much about it. I never realized that my pounding headaches were a direct result of high blood pressure. To make matters worse, the same high blood pressure that was causing my head to throb was also destroying my kidneys.

I wish I had known about my high blood pressure sooner and taken it seriously. When I finally learned about my kidney damage, it was too late to save them.

More than 73 million people are at risk for developing kidney disease, and I sincerely want to help them avoid this fate. My battle with kidney disease has turned me into an advocate for patients and those who are at risk. In honor of National Kidney Month in March and World Kidney Day on March 12, will you please help me spread the word? -- LANCE TAYLOR IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LANCE: I'm pleased to help you in this worthwhile effort. According to the National Kidney Foundation, one in three American adults is at risk for kidney disease. Major risk factors for kidney disease include diabetes, high blood pressure, a family history of kidney failure and being age 60 or older. Additional risk factors include kidney stones, smoking, obesity and cardiovascular disease.

Kidney disease often goes undetected because it lacks physical symptoms until the very late stages. By then the organs have already failed. But early detection, healthy lifestyle changes and proper treatment can slow the progress of kidney disease. Those at risk should have simple blood and urine tests to check if their kidneys are working properly.

Readers, if you are at risk, during your next physical examination, ask your health care practitioner to check your kidneys. To learn more about prevention, visit kidney.org. You will also find information about free KEEP Healthy kidney screenings in your area.

Health & Safety
life

Son Navigating Modern Love Has Mom's Support

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 9th, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old son told me he has finally had his first kiss, and it was with another boy. I'm not sure what to think.

When he was in eighth grade, he had a crush on a girl named "Lisa." She rejected him because she had a girlfriend. Then he dated a girl, "Annie," but it didn't last because he said he felt only friendship for her. Then he became friends with this boy "Joey" in high school, who spent the night several times. He told me from the start this boy was gay (this is the boy he kissed). Now Joey has a girlfriend.

To say the least, I'm confused. I know that in this generation, everything is acceptable. I have no problem if my son is gay, and I will love him no matter what, but I honestly think he is just confused. (He says this, too.) Is there anything I can do to help him through this? -- MODERN MOM IN MARYLAND

DEAR MODERN MOM: Yes. Tell your son you love him and all you want is for him to be happy. Then let him figure this out for himself. Trust me, he will. Things will be clearer in the future.

Love & DatingSex & GenderTeens

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