DEAR ABBY: I teach at a fairly small school. My grade-level teaching team consists of five teachers who work closely together.

During the last school year, one of my team members got engaged. This year, we've had a change of staff and now have a new member on our team. My colleague has not, and does not, plan to invite this new member to her wedding, although the rest of us are invited. The save-the-dates and shower invitations have all been hand-delivered at school, making it awkward for the person who has not been invited.

I feel it wasn't appropriate to include all but one of the team simply because she is new to the group. Am I correct in feeling that my colleague did not handle this appropriately? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE FIRST GRADE

DEAR FRUSTRATED: A wedding is not a children's birthday party to which all the children must be invited if the invitations are handed out at school. While it would have been more diplomatic if the bride had mailed or emailed the invitations to her teammates, she was in no way obligated to invite someone with whom she hadn't worked.

DEAR ABBY: How do you handle providing truthful advice to someone with sensitive feelings? My sister "Ella" is actively dating and doesn't seem to handle the rejection well. This leads her to ask a number of questions she wants me to be truthful about, yet when I answer honestly, she gets mad and sometimes starts to cry.

Now when Ella asks my opinion, I either tell her half-truths or avoid the situation altogether. I'm not mean when I say what I think, but I think she only wants to hear what she wants. How do I answer her questions without hurting her feelings yet be truthful? -- TONGUE-TIED IN OHIO

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: You don't. Instead, you suggest that Ella seek information from someone "more qualified" -- a psychologist. Because she has had one failed relationship after another, it would benefit her to talk to a therapist so she won't keep repeating the same mistakes she's making. Your sister may be attracted to the wrong kind of men, or so needy she chases men away. She may be more receptive to hearing what she needs to from a therapist than from you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a man living with me as a boarder, paying weekly rent. He's a friend as well, but not a close one.

I'm at a loss as to how to tell him he can't use my bath towels, washcloth, bar soap, toothpaste or hairbrush. I'm tempted to tape a list on the bathroom mirror saying, "Please do not use the following," then list the items I feel are too personal to share. I can't imagine how someone would think it's OK to use someone else's personal things. -- GROSSED-OUT GUY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR GROSSED OUT: The thing about silence is that it implies consent. Obviously, your boarder knows or cares nothing about boundaries. If you don't have the courage to tell him face-to-face that certain things are off-limits and what they are, then by all means tape a large sign to the bathroom mirror.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Bubba," and I have a small disagreement that I would love your take on. He constantly complains that he's too tired, or annoyed or busy, to show me romantic or friendly affection and attention. But he goes out of his way to snuggle and play with our two dogs and cat.

I get jealous when he kisses our dogs over and over again, or stays up later to play with the cat. He thinks I am overreacting.

Am I being petty, or am I justified in thinking that if he has the time and energy to give affection and love to our animals, he should do the same for the woman he's about to make his wife? -- INSULTED IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR INSULTED: You're not overreacting or being petty. Perhaps when Bubba is cuddling the animals, you should remind him that humans need to feel loved in the same way they do. Bubba appears to be extremely insensitive. Please reconsider your engagement, because if you marry Bubba, you may end up starving for affection for as long as the marriage lasts.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is now in a nursing home. When my husband's birthday came around, he was depressed by the fact that it was the first time in his life he hadn't gotten a birthday card from her.

So, after struggling to think of a Christmas present for her, I went to the dollar store and bought four Christmas cards and four birthday cards (one for each of her children). I took them to her and had her sign and add a personal note to each one.

I addressed, stamped and mailed the Christmas cards. I will mail the birthday ones at the appropriate times during the year. It was an inexpensive gift, and kind of fun! -- SENDING LOVE IN CEDAR RAPIDS

DEAR SENDING LOVE: It may have been an inexpensive gift, but I'm sure it was precious not only to her but also for each of the recipients. Your idea was lovely, and thank you for sharing it with my readers. Some of them may want to emulate it for other holidays or special occasions.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, our son, who is in his 50s, cut off all communication with us and our side of the family. He is self-employed, a hard worker and has three siblings.

He wanted us to co-sign on a loan for a house in another state. The payments would have run us out of money in three years, which would have meant putting our own home up for sale.

Our reason for refusing was we didn't want to risk becoming a burden on our children. My husband and I had to help our own parents, so we have been frugal and never lived above our means.

I send postcards to my son to let him know our love is constant. Should I stop and just leave him alone, as he has asked? -- FORGOTTEN MOM IN ARKANSAS

DEAR MOM: Your son should not have expected you to do anything at this stage of your lives that could jeopardize your remaining years. But if it brings you comfort, I see nothing wrong with sending him the occasional postcard.

DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and my husband is 27. We've been married for two years. Since our wedding, I have felt an overwhelming amount of pressure to "settle down and buy a house."

One friend's boyfriend recently bought a house. She lives with him. Every time we get together she brags about how important it is to buy a house and not "waste money" by renting an apartment.

My husband and I are happy renting because it allows us the money to travel and experience life together. The thought of being tied down to a mortgage at 23 years old for the next 30 years doesn't sit well with me. I am new in my career and have no idea where it may take me.

I understand that buying a house is a good investment. I often feel as if we are the "minority," as it seems everyone is rushing to settle down, have children, buy a house, etc.

Is it wrong that we would rather wait, enjoy ourselves traveling and doing what we like to do, and then follow the status quo and sign a mortgage that will tie us down for the next 30 years? -- FEELING PRESSURED IN MARYLAND

DEAR PRESSURED: Have you ever heard the saying, "Different strokes for different folks"? You appear to be pressuring yourself as a result of your friend's bragging. Whether or not to buy a home is a personal decision, and one that can vary from couple to couple (or person to person). You do not need to "keep up with the Joneses" or do anything you don't feel ready for.

A house is more than a roof over one's head. It can also be a reservoir of money that accrues as equity. If you're afraid that if you buy a home you will be trapped for 30 years, think again. People have been known to change homes several times in a lifetime. However, because you and your husband would prefer to take your time and wait to buy until you're more established in your careers, then that's what you should do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a cat person. I'm not particularly fond of dogs, especially when they jump on you, try to lick you or sit in your lap, etc. This is regardless of the breed or size.

My question is, when visiting someone who has a dog that behaves like this, what should I do? It makes me really uncomfortable, and sometimes I don't even want to visit someone's home if I know I'm going to be slobbered on or have my clothes soiled or damaged by their dogs. -- UNCOMFORTABLE CAT PERSON

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: A way to ensure it won't happen would be to talk to the dog owner in advance, explain that it makes you very uncomfortable when animals do this and ask that the dog be kept in another room while you're there. But if you are looking for a guarantee, ask the person you want to visit with to come to your home or to meet you in a pet-free place.