DEAR ABBY: I need help! I have shoplifted several times. I was caught and have a police record. I am a grandparent. I know it's wrong, and I don't do it all the time. Is this a mental disorder, or am I just being stupid? If I know this is wrong, why do I keep doing it? And where do I start to look for help? -- STICKY FINGERS

DEAR STICKY FINGERS: Some people shoplift because they are criminals, some do it for "thrills," and others do it to make up for something else that is missing in their lives. Because you know what you are doing is wrong, would like to understand your compulsion and want to stop, the person to discuss this with is a psychologist. Your physician can refer you to one, or contact your state psychological association to find someone in your area.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have called it quits after three years. Distance was the main reason. It wasn't a bad breakup, but it's still a difficult transition for both of us. She would rather we not see or speak to each other for a while to let things heal.

Her birthday is coming up soon, and I don't feel right not acknowledging it. Her special day means a lot to her, and I still love and respect her for who she is. Is sending a card and gift appropriate, or should I just leave her be? -- DISTANCE WAS THE REASON

DEAR DISTANCE: Send a birthday card and tell her that because the day is special, you couldn't let it pass unacknowledged. It shouldn't be necessary to send a gift in light of the fact that you are no longer a couple.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is getting married in September. In June, she's planning to have a bachelorette party in Mexico.

My husband and I have never been to Mexico and thought, "Why not kill two birds with one stone?" Because I'm afraid of flying, I want my husband and son to also go to Mexico, but stay at a different resort. The party is only for three days, so when everyone else goes home, my husband and I will extend our stay.

I have gone on girl vacations to Las Vegas before, where my husband has traveled with me and then gone and done his own thing. We would meet up after the girl vacation. I don't see a problem with his traveling to Mexico, but my daughter absolutely objects. What do you think? -- NO PROBLEM IN COLORADO

DEAR NO: Could this be a telltale warning sign of a budding bridezilla? Your daughter appears to be making a problem where none exists. If your husband and son will stay at a different resort, they might as well be back in the states. That they are in Mexico shouldn't inconvenience or inhibit your daughter at all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS: The Lunar New Year begins today. This year is the year of the goat. People born in the year of the goat are gentle, serene, calm and mild-mannered. They are creative, persevering, resilient and possess excellent defensive skills. They prefer to be in groups and work in teams and, I am told, they can be flirtatious. A happy, healthy and prosperous new year to all who celebrate it. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a handsome executive who works out of town. I'm a professional with a responsible job that limits my ability to travel.

I needed to borrow his phone recently and noticed that one of his colleagues has been texting him after hours. She asks if he has traveled safely, tells him she misses him, how much she enjoys working with him -- all with romantic emoticons. I'm concerned that the flattery and emoticons indicate she wants more than a work-based relationship. She's married with kids. How should I approach this? -- WORRIED WIFE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Because there have been more than one of these flirtatious, unbusinesslike communications, assume that your husband hasn't discouraged them. Confront him. Tell him you feel what she's doing is a threat to your marriage, and you want it stopped. But before you do, make copies of the texts so you can confront the woman with them if she doesn't stop.

DEAR ABBY: Is it OK for a man to talk on his cellphone at the urinal in a public restroom, or for a woman to talk on the phone while using the toilet in one of the stalls?

Also, please remind everyone to wash their hands after using the restroom. -- RUSSELL IN RICHLAND, WASH.

DEAR RUSSELL: I can think of few things more unpleasant than conversing with someone with the sound of "running water" (or worse) in the background and toilets flushing. Why anyone would do this is beyond me. It's very rude.

And, while I can remind people about hand-washing until the cows come home, I'll suggest instead that men and women who use public restrooms not touch the door handle without a paper towel -- when available -- firmly in hand.

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in the '90s in a neighborhood where the kids respected their neighbors. I now live in a different state and, obviously, a different era. Neighborhood kids constantly use my steep driveway to ride their bicycles, tricycles and scooters without asking permission.

Am I right in thinking this is rude, because in my opinion, they are trespassing? Not only could I be held responsible if one of them gets hurt on my property, but they also are extremely loud and do this while my children are trying to nap. They have been asked to stop, and I have threatened to talk to their parents, even though I don't know where they live. What do I do? -- FRUSTRATED HOMEOWNER

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Discuss this with your insurance broker. You are correct that if one of the children gets hurt on your property you could be liable. You also need to be more proactive than you have been. Tell the kids they are disturbing your children who are trying to nap, and if the kids don't go away, find out where they live and talk to the other parents. It would be cheaper than having to install a gate in front of your driveway.

DEAR ABBY: Do you know why people nowadays feel the need to announce their pregnancies via ultrasound pictures? I'm sorry, but I really don't want to see all that. I guess some folks think the image of a blurry, black-and-white fetus is "darling." But to me, all I see is an up-close-and-personal snapshot of a stranger's uterus. Even if we're best friends, I don't need all that detail. TMI, right?

I really wish people would deliver this kind of news face-to-face. Or call me, text me, whatever. It serves the same purpose and isn't nearly as graphic. -- NOT READY FOR A CLOSE-UP

DEAR NOT READY: If seeing a sonogram is "TMI" for your sensibilities, all you need to do is scroll past it. It's not as if you're being forced to view the fetus. Being able to see the product they're manufacturing pre-delivery helps many couples to bond with their babies, and when people are happy, they often want to share their joy. So loosen up and let them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 10 years. Prior to that, we dated for seven. (We met when we were teenagers.) My problem is, my mother-in-law still misspells my name, which is Sara. After all these years, she still adds an "h" to the end of my name, regardless of how many times my husband has pointed out the correct spelling.

I don't know why this is an issue, because we send her cards on all the holidays, her birthday, etc., with my name spelled correctly. How should I approach this with her? -- SIMPLY SARA IN ARIZONA

DEAR SIMPLY SARA: If the two of you get along well, just smile and ask her why she can't get the spelling of your name right. Then listen. However, if there is tension in your relationship, recognize that this may be a form of passive aggression, that confronting her will make her defensive, and she will find some other way to needle you.

P.S. Another thought. Tell her you've changed the spelling of your name to "Sarah" and she may drop the "h"!

DEAR ABBY: My best friend is dying from lung cancer, which I think has traveled to her brain. I am heartbroken over this. My question is, she seems different now -- angry. She jumped on me when we were talking about her disease. Should I just leave her be? Or what should I do? -- STANDING BY IN TEXAS

DEAR STANDING BY: Your friend may indeed be angry, and she has a right to be. She may also be very scared. Continue to stand by her because she will need your support and understanding in the months to come.

A diagnosis of metastasized cancer can make someone feel alone and isolated. If she wants to talk about her prognosis, be prepared to listen. If she is too ill to get out of the house, bring the news about what is going on in her circle of friends to her. (Gossip can be distracting.) Do not offer advice unless you are asked for it. And if she has a bad day, try to be understanding and forgiving.