DEAR ABBY: My younger brother is 25. Three or four months ago he got out of a six-year relationship. He is now dating his former boss, a woman who is at least 15 years older than he is. As far as I know, I'm the only one he's told.

I recently asked him how the romance was going and he told me things are great. He also said he's worried about how to let the rest of our family know about this new relationship. Do you have any advice I could give him about revealing something that's sure to shock some members of our family? -- WORRIED OLDER BROTHER IN KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR WORRIED: Yes. Tell him all he has to do is bring his new love interest to the next family gathering. (You can be in charge of supplying the smelling salts.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I completed construction on our retirement home five years ago. Even though we're not retired, we were able to move in. We are now 3 1/2 hours away from family.

We have repeatedly invited family members to enjoy our hospitality at holiday or vacation time. Some of them have taken us up on the invitation at least once. However, one of my brothers has never been here.

We have a lovely log cabin on a lake, and it can accommodate all family members for a gathering. Our relatives cite the long drive as the reason for staying away, while they think nothing of taking a hunting or fishing trip nearby.

I have stopped asking. My mom thinks I should continue extending invitations. Truthfully, it is a lot less work and expense to not host. Who's right? -- ENOUGH ALREADY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ENOUGH: You are. By now your relatives are well aware that they are welcome. Continue to invite those who have accepted and reciprocated your hospitality, because it should be apparent that the ones who have declined are not interested. And explain that to your mother, who long ago should have stopped telling you what to do.

DEAR ABBY: Have you or any of your female readers experienced this medical phenomenon with their male partners? When I open my mouth to speak, I can literally hear my husband's ears slam shut! Repeating everything seems to be a side effect for those of us living with someone with this disease. Does anyone know of a cure? -- TIRED OF TALKING TO MYSELF

DEAR TIRED: Alas, I can't answer from personal experience because every time I open my mouth to speak, my husband rushes forward to catch the pearls of wisdom I'm spewing. However, I suspect that what you're experiencing may be a widespread phenomenon that happens when any woman suggests something her spouse doesn't want to hear. Readers, what do you think?

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mason," and I have been married for 10 years. We have a beautiful 7-year-old daughter and have just found out we are having another girl. The day we learned her gender, Mason dropped a bomb on me. He said he's not in love with me anymore, and it has been eating at him for a while. He said he was too scared to tell me sooner.

He won't talk to anyone and doesn't seem to want to fix it. We both came from broken homes and had always agreed not to do that to our kids. But I can't act like everything is normal under the same roof.

He says he'll stay at his brother's place at night after our daughter goes to sleep. He's at work before she's up for school anyway. We agreed that if she wakes up at night and calls out for him, I should tell her he got "called in to work." Please give me some advice. -- BROKEN IN NEVADA

DEAR BROKEN: By the age of 7, your daughter is old enough to recognize tension between her parents. She is also aware enough to comprehend that her father is no longer living there if he's spending his nights elsewhere, particularly if he intends to carry on this charade for any length of time.

You say your husband "won't talk to anyone," but he owes you some straight answers. If he hasn't been in love with you "for a while," he shouldn't have fathered a second child with you.

Would his feelings be different if the baby you're carrying was a boy? Could there be another woman involved? Your husband owes it to you and those children to act responsibly and at least try to save his marriage. Running away is not the answer.

In the meantime, my advice is to talk to a lawyer and take your cues from her or him about protecting yourself and your children financially. Doing so does not mean you "must" file divorce papers, but you will have someone who isn't emotionally involved looking out for your interests.

DEAR ABBY: What should a single, straight woman do if she is attracted to and interested in a man she is "pretty sure" is gay? What should she do in the same situation if he is openly gay? Should she ignore her feelings? Tell him? -- ATTRACTED TO HIM IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ATTRACTED: If the woman tells her gay friend how she feels, he may be flattered, or it may make him uncomfortable. That's the risk she takes. As to whether she should ignore her feelings, if she wants a romantic partner who can reciprocate her physical attraction, she will have to concentrate on finding someone who is straight. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, "Fran," died nine years ago. Prior to her death, I had little interaction with her husband, "Dexter." As a matter of fact, when I met Fran, she was divorced, but she and Dexter re-united.

Dexter and I are now in love and are planning to marry. He is 66 and I am 61. A lot of people feel it is wrong for us to be together. Your thoughts, please? -- GOING FOR HAPPINESS IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR GOING: "A lot of people" are unhappy in their lives and judgmental. They sometimes poke their noses into matters that are none of their business. If you and Dexter want to be happy, avoid the naysayers as if they have a virus -- because the kind of ill will they spread is contagious.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 25 years. My husband, "Frank," and I have four children. Over the years our relationship became rocky -- almost toxic. Frank is an alcoholic, verbally abusive and a manipulator. (I admit I'm no angel, either.)

Eight months ago, I had an affair with a former boyfriend I dated before I was married, and we got caught. Frank planted a tape recorder in my car, hacked my phone and read my texts on his phone. He threw me out of the house, my belongings placed in black garbage bags.

My boyfriend has divorced his wife, moved here and has made a life and a future for us. He has sacrificed a lot for me, and I feel bad that I'm thinking about going back to Frank. I miss my home and family.

Frank begs me to return every day. He claims he has stopped drinking and changed his ways. He wants us to go to counseling and promises to be a better husband if I give him another chance.

I'm scared, but a little piece of me wants to see if it's true. I have heard stories about how men can't change, that it will be worse if I go home and I'll be in a sort of jail and have no freedom. Please help me. -- IN PAIN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN PAIN: If "a little piece" of you wants to reunite with your husband, then level with your lover. Your marriage may or may not be able to be repaired. However, if you're willing to try, understand it will take hard work on the part of both you and Frank, and the help of a marriage counselor -- if Frank can maintain his sobriety.

You say you are worried you will lose your freedom if you go back. It is important you recognize that trust takes a long time to be rebuilt, that the attempt at reconciliation is a gamble, and whether your marriage can survive the mess the two of you have made of it isn't assured.

DEAR ABBY: When my boyfriend takes me out to dinner, he always expects sex afterward. I am OK with it because he's a nice guy. But he never says "thank you" when we're done.

Other than his manners, he's great and I'm happy we're together. Am I being petty and overly sensitive? My first husband never thanked me either or appreciated me, so I guess it's a sore spot. How should I approach this without jeopardizing everything else? -- HESITANT TO SPEAK UP

DEAR HESITANT: Sex is not supposed to be "payment" because someone picks up a dinner check. If that's what is happening with you and your boyfriend, it is being approached with the wrong attitude.

A person is not expected to thank a partner for having sex, unless the sex was unusually spectacular. Because you feel otherwise, tell your boyfriend what your needs are -- and if he agrees to thank you, return the compliment by thanking him.