DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mason," and I have been married for 10 years. We have a beautiful 7-year-old daughter and have just found out we are having another girl. The day we learned her gender, Mason dropped a bomb on me. He said he's not in love with me anymore, and it has been eating at him for a while. He said he was too scared to tell me sooner.

He won't talk to anyone and doesn't seem to want to fix it. We both came from broken homes and had always agreed not to do that to our kids. But I can't act like everything is normal under the same roof.

He says he'll stay at his brother's place at night after our daughter goes to sleep. He's at work before she's up for school anyway. We agreed that if she wakes up at night and calls out for him, I should tell her he got "called in to work." Please give me some advice. -- BROKEN IN NEVADA

DEAR BROKEN: By the age of 7, your daughter is old enough to recognize tension between her parents. She is also aware enough to comprehend that her father is no longer living there if he's spending his nights elsewhere, particularly if he intends to carry on this charade for any length of time.

You say your husband "won't talk to anyone," but he owes you some straight answers. If he hasn't been in love with you "for a while," he shouldn't have fathered a second child with you.

Would his feelings be different if the baby you're carrying was a boy? Could there be another woman involved? Your husband owes it to you and those children to act responsibly and at least try to save his marriage. Running away is not the answer.

In the meantime, my advice is to talk to a lawyer and take your cues from her or him about protecting yourself and your children financially. Doing so does not mean you "must" file divorce papers, but you will have someone who isn't emotionally involved looking out for your interests.

DEAR ABBY: What should a single, straight woman do if she is attracted to and interested in a man she is "pretty sure" is gay? What should she do in the same situation if he is openly gay? Should she ignore her feelings? Tell him? -- ATTRACTED TO HIM IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ATTRACTED: If the woman tells her gay friend how she feels, he may be flattered, or it may make him uncomfortable. That's the risk she takes. As to whether she should ignore her feelings, if she wants a romantic partner who can reciprocate her physical attraction, she will have to concentrate on finding someone who is straight. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, "Fran," died nine years ago. Prior to her death, I had little interaction with her husband, "Dexter." As a matter of fact, when I met Fran, she was divorced, but she and Dexter re-united.

Dexter and I are now in love and are planning to marry. He is 66 and I am 61. A lot of people feel it is wrong for us to be together. Your thoughts, please? -- GOING FOR HAPPINESS IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR GOING: "A lot of people" are unhappy in their lives and judgmental. They sometimes poke their noses into matters that are none of their business. If you and Dexter want to be happy, avoid the naysayers as if they have a virus -- because the kind of ill will they spread is contagious.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 25 years. My husband, "Frank," and I have four children. Over the years our relationship became rocky -- almost toxic. Frank is an alcoholic, verbally abusive and a manipulator. (I admit I'm no angel, either.)

Eight months ago, I had an affair with a former boyfriend I dated before I was married, and we got caught. Frank planted a tape recorder in my car, hacked my phone and read my texts on his phone. He threw me out of the house, my belongings placed in black garbage bags.

My boyfriend has divorced his wife, moved here and has made a life and a future for us. He has sacrificed a lot for me, and I feel bad that I'm thinking about going back to Frank. I miss my home and family.

Frank begs me to return every day. He claims he has stopped drinking and changed his ways. He wants us to go to counseling and promises to be a better husband if I give him another chance.

I'm scared, but a little piece of me wants to see if it's true. I have heard stories about how men can't change, that it will be worse if I go home and I'll be in a sort of jail and have no freedom. Please help me. -- IN PAIN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN PAIN: If "a little piece" of you wants to reunite with your husband, then level with your lover. Your marriage may or may not be able to be repaired. However, if you're willing to try, understand it will take hard work on the part of both you and Frank, and the help of a marriage counselor -- if Frank can maintain his sobriety.

You say you are worried you will lose your freedom if you go back. It is important you recognize that trust takes a long time to be rebuilt, that the attempt at reconciliation is a gamble, and whether your marriage can survive the mess the two of you have made of it isn't assured.

DEAR ABBY: When my boyfriend takes me out to dinner, he always expects sex afterward. I am OK with it because he's a nice guy. But he never says "thank you" when we're done.

Other than his manners, he's great and I'm happy we're together. Am I being petty and overly sensitive? My first husband never thanked me either or appreciated me, so I guess it's a sore spot. How should I approach this without jeopardizing everything else? -- HESITANT TO SPEAK UP

DEAR HESITANT: Sex is not supposed to be "payment" because someone picks up a dinner check. If that's what is happening with you and your boyfriend, it is being approached with the wrong attitude.

A person is not expected to thank a partner for having sex, unless the sex was unusually spectacular. Because you feel otherwise, tell your boyfriend what your needs are -- and if he agrees to thank you, return the compliment by thanking him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school student who has the amazing opportunity to travel to Spain for a school year as a foreign exchange student. I know I am very lucky to have this opportunity to travel, but I am scared about the people there.

I am a Mormon, so I will have to uphold my standards alone in a non-Mormon environment. I have never been away from home for this long, and that's hard enough as it is. I guess I just need some advice on how to be strong when I'm there. -- ALONE IN SPAIN

DEAR ALONE: I agree that you are being given an amazing opportunity to grow and learn. If you haven't spoken about this with your adviser, please do so. I assume you will be living with a host family. When you get there, consider discussing your concerns with the parents. I am sure you will be encouraged to stick to your standards and beliefs, and be respected for doing so if you remember to also respect others who may not think exactly the way you do.

DEAR ABBY: My niece had a baby a year after graduating from high school and is now raising her daughter as a single mom. After the first year, I told her that if there was anything she needed to let me know, but that I would rather contribute to a college fund for her daughter than send her toys for gift-giving holidays.

My niece was thrilled, so I set up a college savings account for her daughter and contribute to it monthly in lieu of birthday and Christmas gifts for them. However, when those gift-giving occasions come, I worry they may feel slighted when presents arrive from me for others. My niece and I never mentioned it to other family members.

Would it be appropriate for me to send some kind of reminder occasionally so they know the account is there and growing? -- CONTRIBUTING TO HER FUTURE

DEAR CONTRIBUTING: Yes, it's appropriate. You should also send your niece a summary at the end of each year so she can see the progress. In addition, you might consider sending the child an inexpensive small gift or card so she'll have something to open.

DEAR ABBY: In response to the letter from "David in Kentucky" (Nov. 2), the 50-year-old single man who was unsure what to do with his late mother's engagement ring, I disagree with your answer. Yes, gems are meant to be enjoyed, and the ring is doing no one any good in a drawer, but he should not sell it.

I think David should have a man's ring made for himself with it, so he can have a memento of what his dad gave his mom to treasure many years ago. I wear my mom's and grandmother's rings every day on my right hand, and remember them often with joy. -- DEVOTED FAN IN FLORIDA

DEAR DEVOTED FAN: Your suggestion was the No. 1 comment I received from readers. Some said if David was eventually to meet the woman he wanted to marry, the stone could be removed again and reset into a lady's ring.

Another good idea several readers offered is to donate the ring in his mother's memory to a charity auction of a cause she supported.