DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, "Kelly," wanted a dollhouse for Christmas. I had a friend build a basic frame, shingled roof, chimney and shutters, then I decorated it.

I did everything by hand. I wallpapered each room, made little rugs and crocheted lace curtains. There were even little window shades. Kelly's room was a perfect princess bedroom. It took weeks, but I loved working on it.

The family came for five days over the holidays. Kelly loved her dollhouse and played with it every day. When it came time to leave, my daughter told Kelly she couldn't take it with her. She had to leave it at Grandma's "so she would have something to play with when she came to visit." Kelly was heartbroken. So was I.

Then my daughter told me (in private) the dollhouse was "too amateurish," which was why she didn't want it in her home. I think about it all the time and don't know how to get past it. Any advice? -- HURT GRANDMA

DEAR HURT: You appear to be a loving grandparent. Sometimes people say things without weighing the effect it will have on the person they're talking to. What your daughter said may have been honest, but it was extremely insensitive in light of the time, effort and love that went into that gift.

Your daughter appears to be more fixated on appearances rather than what's really important in life. What is sad to me is that she may pass along her skewed sense of values to your granddaughter.

DEAR ABBY: I joined a weekly prayer group with women from my church. As a young mom, I appreciate having the opportunity to get out of the house and socialize with other adults, and all the women are nice.

We use an online sign-up to schedule who will host each week. The trouble is, all of the other members have much larger, nicer homes than mine. There's always space for everyone to sit, and a basement for all the kids to play in while we're occupied. I'd love to host, but I'm afraid having all those people in my house would be an embarrassment.

No one has asked why I haven't hosted yet, but I'm getting worried about what to say if someone does. Should I just say I don't have the space? I feel it's rude of me to not take a turn. -- TINY HOUSE DWELLER IN KANSAS

DEAR T.H.D.: Not being able to accommodate a large group is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a fact of life for many people. If you are asked about why you haven't hosted, tell the truth. Offer to host the gathering at the church -- or outside when the weather permits. If that doesn't work, volunteer to bring food to some of the events so you'll feel like you're contributing your share and no one will feel you are ducking a responsibility.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter's best friend took her life today. My daughter is devastated.

As a parent, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to go to bed this evening because I want her to fall asleep before me. It hurts not being able to take that pain from your child. I want to hold her in my arms tonight. She needs her space, but I don't know how to help her.

I don't know how it feels to be so young and lose a best friend by her own hand. What can I do? -- HOW DO I TAKE THE PAIN AWAY

DEAR HOW: The smartest thing you and the parents of other friends of the deceased girl can do is to see that your children have access to grief counseling by a professional. When a tragedy like this happens, many schools offer it to the students, but if this isn't being offered at the school your daughter and her friend attended, then the parents should step in.

DEAR ABBY: I am 22 and will graduate from college soon. I have worked hard for the last four years and will graduate with two degrees.

Recently, I decided to throw away all my makeup. I rarely wore it, and I think I am beautiful without it. Now that I'm about to enter the job market, I'm worried society won't see me as looking professional without it. I have appropriate dress clothes and I'm comfortable without the added "fluff" of makeup, but how will others see me? Is makeup a necessary part of the business attire?

I want to go into job interviews with as much confidence as possible and do well in my career. Also, if I wear makeup to an interview, will it be necessary for me to wear it on a daily basis once I get a job? Please enlighten me. -- BARE AND BEAUTIFUL

DEAR B AND B: Employers expect applicants to put their best foot forward during a job interview. But unless wearing makeup is part of the job description, I don't think it's a requirement.

How others will view you depends upon how well you perform the job for which you're hired. If you do it well, you will be respected. If you don't, no amount of makeup will put you in a better light. Being well-groomed does not necessarily mean wearing makeup.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of taking young children into a prison to visit an uncle? The kids are 3, 4 and 6 and endure a 12-hour car ride each way. I stay out of it and haven't said a word to the parents, but I don't think this is the smartest idea. -- CARING BYSTANDER

DEAR BYSTANDER: You don't say how often these visits happen, but if it's often, it seems to me that a 12-hour drive (each way) would be very hard on small children. If you are a friend or relative and live nearby, I'm sure it would be appreciated if you volunteered to watch the kids while the parents make the drive. Have you considered it?

DEAR ABBY: I like my job a lot, but I have recently been assigned a different desk. I now sit next to someone who regularly draws his blood with a lancet and gives himself a shot for his diabetes just a foot away from me.

I am extremely uncomfortable around blood and needles. I don't want to make waves because this person has been here a lot longer than I have, and apparently, no one has ever been bothered by it.

Am I being silly? Would it be improper to ask my supervisor to move me? Moving desks is a big enough deal that I will have to give a reason. Help. -- SQUEAMISH IN GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR SQUEAMISH: Because the sight of blood and needles makes you uncomfortable, discuss this with your supervisor ASAP. While these are procedures many people with diabetes must attend to on a daily basis, you shouldn't have to watch if you don't want to.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law were blessed with a child two years ago. My ex-husband (not my daughter's father) has hardly been in her life since our divorce 15 years ago. She never called him Dad. We have both remarried.

He and his new wife have moved close to the kids and want to be grandparents. I don't have a problem with them being close to my daughter, but I resent them being called "grandparents." I feel that title should be reserved.

Frankly, this has put a chasm in an otherwise close relationship. My daughter and son-in-law don't understand why I'm having a problem with it. Please give me some advice. -- EARNED THE RIGHT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR EARNED: OK. While I understand your jealousy, for all concerned, you need to realize that the more love and attention a child has, the better. Your grandchild will benefit from having many caring adults in his/her life as long as they're not at each other's throats. While your ex and his wife may not technically be grandparents, if you blow this out of proportion, you risk alienating your daughter, so I advise against it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professor at a university on a military base in Germany. Most of my students are soldiers, their families or retirees, so my students range in age from 18 to 60. I do not yet have my Ph.D., only my master's.

I communicate a lot with my students through email. How should I sign my emails to them? I can't say Dr. So-and-So. Do I use my full name or Professor So-and-So? While I'm friendly with my students, I still believe in keeping a professional distance, and I want to convey a sense of professionalism in my emails. -- PROFESSOR SO-AND-SO

DEAR PROFESSOR SO-AND-SO: Sign your communications with your students exactly the way you have signed the one you have written to me.