DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, "Kelly," wanted a dollhouse for Christmas. I had a friend build a basic frame, shingled roof, chimney and shutters, then I decorated it.
I did everything by hand. I wallpapered each room, made little rugs and crocheted lace curtains. There were even little window shades. Kelly's room was a perfect princess bedroom. It took weeks, but I loved working on it.
The family came for five days over the holidays. Kelly loved her dollhouse and played with it every day. When it came time to leave, my daughter told Kelly she couldn't take it with her. She had to leave it at Grandma's "so she would have something to play with when she came to visit." Kelly was heartbroken. So was I.
Then my daughter told me (in private) the dollhouse was "too amateurish," which was why she didn't want it in her home. I think about it all the time and don't know how to get past it. Any advice? -- HURT GRANDMA
DEAR HURT: You appear to be a loving grandparent. Sometimes people say things without weighing the effect it will have on the person they're talking to. What your daughter said may have been honest, but it was extremely insensitive in light of the time, effort and love that went into that gift.
Your daughter appears to be more fixated on appearances rather than what's really important in life. What is sad to me is that she may pass along her skewed sense of values to your granddaughter.