DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter's best friend took her life today. My daughter is devastated.

As a parent, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to go to bed this evening because I want her to fall asleep before me. It hurts not being able to take that pain from your child. I want to hold her in my arms tonight. She needs her space, but I don't know how to help her.

I don't know how it feels to be so young and lose a best friend by her own hand. What can I do? -- HOW DO I TAKE THE PAIN AWAY

DEAR HOW: The smartest thing you and the parents of other friends of the deceased girl can do is to see that your children have access to grief counseling by a professional. When a tragedy like this happens, many schools offer it to the students, but if this isn't being offered at the school your daughter and her friend attended, then the parents should step in.

DEAR ABBY: I am 22 and will graduate from college soon. I have worked hard for the last four years and will graduate with two degrees.

Recently, I decided to throw away all my makeup. I rarely wore it, and I think I am beautiful without it. Now that I'm about to enter the job market, I'm worried society won't see me as looking professional without it. I have appropriate dress clothes and I'm comfortable without the added "fluff" of makeup, but how will others see me? Is makeup a necessary part of the business attire?

I want to go into job interviews with as much confidence as possible and do well in my career. Also, if I wear makeup to an interview, will it be necessary for me to wear it on a daily basis once I get a job? Please enlighten me. -- BARE AND BEAUTIFUL

DEAR B AND B: Employers expect applicants to put their best foot forward during a job interview. But unless wearing makeup is part of the job description, I don't think it's a requirement.

How others will view you depends upon how well you perform the job for which you're hired. If you do it well, you will be respected. If you don't, no amount of makeup will put you in a better light. Being well-groomed does not necessarily mean wearing makeup.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of taking young children into a prison to visit an uncle? The kids are 3, 4 and 6 and endure a 12-hour car ride each way. I stay out of it and haven't said a word to the parents, but I don't think this is the smartest idea. -- CARING BYSTANDER

DEAR BYSTANDER: You don't say how often these visits happen, but if it's often, it seems to me that a 12-hour drive (each way) would be very hard on small children. If you are a friend or relative and live nearby, I'm sure it would be appreciated if you volunteered to watch the kids while the parents make the drive. Have you considered it?

DEAR ABBY: I like my job a lot, but I have recently been assigned a different desk. I now sit next to someone who regularly draws his blood with a lancet and gives himself a shot for his diabetes just a foot away from me.

I am extremely uncomfortable around blood and needles. I don't want to make waves because this person has been here a lot longer than I have, and apparently, no one has ever been bothered by it.

Am I being silly? Would it be improper to ask my supervisor to move me? Moving desks is a big enough deal that I will have to give a reason. Help. -- SQUEAMISH IN GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR SQUEAMISH: Because the sight of blood and needles makes you uncomfortable, discuss this with your supervisor ASAP. While these are procedures many people with diabetes must attend to on a daily basis, you shouldn't have to watch if you don't want to.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law were blessed with a child two years ago. My ex-husband (not my daughter's father) has hardly been in her life since our divorce 15 years ago. She never called him Dad. We have both remarried.

He and his new wife have moved close to the kids and want to be grandparents. I don't have a problem with them being close to my daughter, but I resent them being called "grandparents." I feel that title should be reserved.

Frankly, this has put a chasm in an otherwise close relationship. My daughter and son-in-law don't understand why I'm having a problem with it. Please give me some advice. -- EARNED THE RIGHT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR EARNED: OK. While I understand your jealousy, for all concerned, you need to realize that the more love and attention a child has, the better. Your grandchild will benefit from having many caring adults in his/her life as long as they're not at each other's throats. While your ex and his wife may not technically be grandparents, if you blow this out of proportion, you risk alienating your daughter, so I advise against it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professor at a university on a military base in Germany. Most of my students are soldiers, their families or retirees, so my students range in age from 18 to 60. I do not yet have my Ph.D., only my master's.

I communicate a lot with my students through email. How should I sign my emails to them? I can't say Dr. So-and-So. Do I use my full name or Professor So-and-So? While I'm friendly with my students, I still believe in keeping a professional distance, and I want to convey a sense of professionalism in my emails. -- PROFESSOR SO-AND-SO

DEAR PROFESSOR SO-AND-SO: Sign your communications with your students exactly the way you have signed the one you have written to me.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished the letter from "Plotting and Planning in Arizona" (Oct. 5), regarding why cremation is so popular. There are also other reasons.

My father, a WWII veteran, had planned to be buried in a national veterans' cemetery. After his death we were informed that the only option currently available was interment in the veterans' wall of honor columbarium, because the cemetery had run out of space for traditional burials. -- PROUD DAUGHTER OF WWII VET

DEAR PROUD DAUGHTER: "Plotting and Planning" guessed one reason was cost, while another might be that we live in a more mobile society. Readers agreed, but offered additional input:

DEAR ABBY: Several people I know prefer cremation because they are claustrophobic. Even the thought of being shut up in a casket gives them the heebie-jeebies. -- DAVID IN EAST MOLINE, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: Rather than be buried in a cemetery ($$$) or be cremated (my kids objected), I'm donating my body to medical science. I have degenerative arthritis, asthma and other minor conditions. Perhaps by doing this, I can help one of my own or someone else, contribute to medical science and prolong a few lives. -- CAROL IN LONG BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: A few reasons why I have requested cremation:

First, due to modern technology, it is now possible to take a portion of one's cremains and turn them into diamondlike gems, one of which I'd like to leave to my dear mother-in-law to be.

Second, because of the proliferation of fine mini-urns -- which may be used as jewelry -- I intend to have a portion of my ashes distributed to a few of the women who have touched my life in various ways over the years. I feel it is not only my right but also my duty to avoid saddling others with the exorbitant costs of today's funeral extravaganzas. -- KIFFIN, THE PRAGMATIST

DEAR ABBY: Cremation has a lot going for it. "Green burials" are becoming more popular. You can be wrapped in a shroud and buried in the ground. No chemicals, everything is biodegradable -- ashes to ashes, dust to dust. -- KEEP IT NATURAL

DEAR ABBY: Being an avid scuba diver, I have instructed my family that I wish to be cremated and my ashes turned into part of the memorial reef by the Neptune Society. This will help to create an underwater reef system not only for fish, but for divers to enjoy. That way, I'll be able to return to nature, give divers a place to enjoy and forever be back in the water that I have always loved. -- SCUBA SHELL

DEAR ABBY: I'm opting for cremation when my time comes. I don't want to be dug up in the future for someone's science project, grave robbers or archaeologists. I have "urned" my rest. -- RALPHEE IN ALABAMA