DEAR ABBY: I am a senior in high school. As part of the English program, each senior must assemble a senior project. For mine, I decided to research happiness. I have researched what makes Americans happy and the brain process that takes place when people feel joy.

As someone who reads questions all day about people's problems, I would like to know what makes you happy. Do you have any hobbies or favorite pastimes? Do you have a favorite place to go to cheer you up? What do you think about in order to cheer yourself up?

Thank you for your time and consideration. I can't wait to hear back from you. -- HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR IN MONTANA

DEAR SENIOR: Although I read about problems every day, they don't drag me down. They make me want to take action. What makes me happy is knowing I can make a positive difference in the lives of the individuals who write to me. While I enjoy an occasional concert, play or film -- and getting together with friends -- much of my happiness is derived from my work.

When I need a lift, I think about the blessings I have -- a loving husband, that we're both healthy, that we have friends to laugh with, that I have the ability to exercise, enjoy my favorite flower and the warmth of walking in the sunshine. And I remember to be grateful for all of them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl, and I have had a great relationship with my parents since I was a baby. I have always felt I have the perfect family. I can talk to them about anything and love spending time with them.

Lately, though, I have begun fighting with my dad almost every day. They're never big or scary fights, just arguments that leave us both angry and disgruntled. He says I have a newly developed "attitude." I say he has a bit of a temper. Neither of us is willing to back down.

We have talked about our constant arguing, but we honestly don't know how to fix it. He recently suggested family counseling, but I'm not sure if it has gone that far yet. Any advice? -- TEEN IN FAIRBANKS, ALASKA

DEAR TEEN: Some of what is happening between you and your dad may be that you are now a teenager, with all of the hormonal changes that go with it. That said, you are old enough to understand that because there can be consequences for saying the first thing that pops into our heads, it is prudent to exercise tact.

I consider your father's idea of family counseling now to be a good one. Think of it as "preventive medicine" to avoid a more serious breakdown in communications later.

DEAR ABBY: Is it OK to put a paper towel holder in the bathroom? I don't want to buy the kind that you can pull out from a box. I want to put a holder on the wall so I don't have to hide my roll under the sink. That way, anyone can pull a sheet off the roll to clean up a mess or wipe their hands if they don't want to use a hand towel. I've never seen one in anyone's bathroom, but I don't know why. -- JANET IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR JANET: Even though you haven't seen one, I'm sure you're not the only one to think of it. If you would like a roll of paper towels in your bathroom, you'll get no argument from me. Go for it.

DEAR ABBY: I am worried about how my 10-year-old son, "Jake," will take some news he's not aware of yet. I wasn't able to have children, so my husband and I turned to in-vitro, using a donated egg from a family member. We thank God this method worked.

Our plan was to explain it to Jake when he got older, once he understood about the birds and the bees. Now I am starting to get this fear that he will be very upset when he learns about it and be angry with us.

I don't want him to go into a depression over it. What should we do? Should we wait like we planned? Should we have told him already? Or should we say nothing? -- MOM IN CHICAGO

DEAR MOM: Not knowing Jake, I can't gauge his level of maturity. I'm not sure why being told how special he is, and how grateful you and your husband are to be his parents would send him into a depression. But because you think it might, discuss this with a child psychologist before talking to your son. Please don't put this off, because if other family members know about the egg donation, it is only a matter of time before the cat will be out of the bag, and it's better that Jake hears this information from you.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I would love your take on a disagreement we've had since we were married. It's the age-old question, "So, where did you two meet?"

We met abroad at a university exchange program and were introduced to each other by our school sponsors in the bar where all the students hung out. We shook hands, exchanged greetings and I left right afterward.

I answer the question by saying, "We met in a bar." My wife says, "We met in university." Who's right? -- BAR NONE? IN TEXAS

DEAR BAR NONE: You both are, but have you never heard the adage, "A happy wife makes for a happy life"? My advice is to stick with her version.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, a member of the family suggested that my mother Google the name of my sister's new live-in boyfriend. (Another family member said he had done it months ago.) When Mom did, she saw that he is a convicted sex offender. We were all shocked as he has been very good to my sister and other members of the family.

So far, we haven't said anything to my sister or her boyfriend, and I am unsure what to do. I have a small child and it makes me nervous. I don't know if my sister knows, and I don't know how to bring it up.

I am upset with my family member because he didn't say anything immediately after finding this information. I'm upset at my sister if she knows and hasn't been honest with us, and I am upset with this man. What should I do? -- UPSET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UPSET: First let me tell you what not to do. Do not remain silent and stew. Tell your sister everything you have written to me and ask if she's aware that her live-in boyfriend is on a sex offender website. If his offense concerned a minor child, it is possible that he is not supposed to be around children -- and if he has been that the authorities would like to know. But first, discuss this with your sister who may -- or may not -- be able to put your fears to rest.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a widower for a year. While he was eager to jump into the dating pool, he still has a mini shrine of his late wife's ashes and belongings in their house. I can't bring myself to have dinner or sleep over there with that overt presence.

He recently told me he's saving her remains to be intermingled with his when he dies. It was among a long list of her afterlife instructions he described. He's in good health. I figure he has 25 years -- or more -- life expectancy before the big event.

Realistically, shouldn't I expect more than second best in his world? Is there a time limit for grieving, or does the deceased get to control her hubby from the other side? -- WAITING AND WONDERING

DEAR WAITING AND WONDERING: Realistically, this has less to do with what you should "expect" than conclusions the widower must arrive at on his own. Ask him in a nonconfrontational way how he feels about carrying out all of his deceased wife's wishes -- and whether he thinks it is fair to himself or you. Be prepared to discuss it without becoming emotional. His answers will tell you everything you need to know about a future with him.

P.S. If your relationship with him is good, why not focus on the present and not worry about what happens to his body when he's gone? However, if this is a deal breaker, then don't invest any more time.