DEAR ABBY: I am worried about how my 10-year-old son, "Jake," will take some news he's not aware of yet. I wasn't able to have children, so my husband and I turned to in-vitro, using a donated egg from a family member. We thank God this method worked.

Our plan was to explain it to Jake when he got older, once he understood about the birds and the bees. Now I am starting to get this fear that he will be very upset when he learns about it and be angry with us.

I don't want him to go into a depression over it. What should we do? Should we wait like we planned? Should we have told him already? Or should we say nothing? -- MOM IN CHICAGO

DEAR MOM: Not knowing Jake, I can't gauge his level of maturity. I'm not sure why being told how special he is, and how grateful you and your husband are to be his parents would send him into a depression. But because you think it might, discuss this with a child psychologist before talking to your son. Please don't put this off, because if other family members know about the egg donation, it is only a matter of time before the cat will be out of the bag, and it's better that Jake hears this information from you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman in grad school, and I have noticed something about my male friends. Whenever they meet a new girl, the first comment out of their mouths is about her looks. Then they will expound at length on her physical assets (or lack thereof).

Abby, it makes me furious. Not only does it make me feel self-conscious about my own body, it also makes me angry that these talented, charming and outgoing girls are judged first by their cup size.

Is there anything I can say to my friends to make them amend their behavior? Or am I being overly sensitive and need to accept that this is a "guy thing"? Thanks for your input. -- OBJECTIFIED IN OMAHA

DEAR OBJECTIFIED: It's a guy thing. That they talk this way in front of you may indicate that they consider you "one of the guys." Since it bothers you, speak up and suggest they knock it off. If you do, it may jar them back to reality.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I would love your take on a disagreement we've had since we were married. It's the age-old question, "So, where did you two meet?"

We met abroad at a university exchange program and were introduced to each other by our school sponsors in the bar where all the students hung out. We shook hands, exchanged greetings and I left right afterward.

I answer the question by saying, "We met in a bar." My wife says, "We met in university." Who's right? -- BAR NONE? IN TEXAS

DEAR BAR NONE: You both are, but have you never heard the adage, "A happy wife makes for a happy life"? My advice is to stick with her version.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, a member of the family suggested that my mother Google the name of my sister's new live-in boyfriend. (Another family member said he had done it months ago.) When Mom did, she saw that he is a convicted sex offender. We were all shocked as he has been very good to my sister and other members of the family.

So far, we haven't said anything to my sister or her boyfriend, and I am unsure what to do. I have a small child and it makes me nervous. I don't know if my sister knows, and I don't know how to bring it up.

I am upset with my family member because he didn't say anything immediately after finding this information. I'm upset at my sister if she knows and hasn't been honest with us, and I am upset with this man. What should I do? -- UPSET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UPSET: First let me tell you what not to do. Do not remain silent and stew. Tell your sister everything you have written to me and ask if she's aware that her live-in boyfriend is on a sex offender website. If his offense concerned a minor child, it is possible that he is not supposed to be around children -- and if he has been that the authorities would like to know. But first, discuss this with your sister who may -- or may not -- be able to put your fears to rest.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a widower for a year. While he was eager to jump into the dating pool, he still has a mini shrine of his late wife's ashes and belongings in their house. I can't bring myself to have dinner or sleep over there with that overt presence.

He recently told me he's saving her remains to be intermingled with his when he dies. It was among a long list of her afterlife instructions he described. He's in good health. I figure he has 25 years -- or more -- life expectancy before the big event.

Realistically, shouldn't I expect more than second best in his world? Is there a time limit for grieving, or does the deceased get to control her hubby from the other side? -- WAITING AND WONDERING

DEAR WAITING AND WONDERING: Realistically, this has less to do with what you should "expect" than conclusions the widower must arrive at on his own. Ask him in a nonconfrontational way how he feels about carrying out all of his deceased wife's wishes -- and whether he thinks it is fair to himself or you. Be prepared to discuss it without becoming emotional. His answers will tell you everything you need to know about a future with him.

P.S. If your relationship with him is good, why not focus on the present and not worry about what happens to his body when he's gone? However, if this is a deal breaker, then don't invest any more time.

DEAR ABBY: My sister has been seeing a married man for two years. He has told her the only reason he is staying in this loveless marriage is for his daughter (standard lie of a cheating husband).

His wife found out midway through this "relationship," but forgave him when he swore he would stop, which of course he didn't. When I told my sister how wrong this relationship is and that she deserves better, I ended up alienating her.

I have recently learned that his wife just had a second child, and my sister is pregnant, too. I'm sick to my stomach with all of this. I told her how crazy her situation is, but she refuses to see how horrible "the man she loves" really is. She says she is fine raising this child alone, and if her lover is in their lives, then she will be satisfied with that.

I am the only one freaking out about this. How do I deal with it and not totally lose my sister? -- FREAKING OUT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FREAKING OUT: Your sister is an adult. She has made her choices and may have to learn the hard way what you have been trying to tell her. Realize that as much as you love her, you cannot live her life for her. Let her know you're there for her and the baby, because she's going to need all the support she can get.

DEAR ABBY: I am 30 and my husband, "Brent," is 35. We have had some financial troubles lately and recently had to move in with my mother-in-law.

My question is, how old should a child be before his mother quits walking around naked in front of him? My mother-in-law still walks around completely nude in front of Brent and his 39-year-old brother. Although she is in good health, she always seems to need Brent's help getting in and out of the shower.

She also parades nude in front of me, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I have talked to Brent about it a few times, and he said she's been this way his whole life.

Is this normal behavior? Am I overreacting? I have a daughter, and I don't get naked in front of her. How do I approach this without causing hurt feelings? -- COVERED UP IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR COVERED UP: Obviously, in the household that your husband was raised, this behavior was normal. I am puzzled, however, that your mother-in-law needs help getting in and out of the shower. What are the "boys" supposed to do -- scrub her back?

Because her nudity makes you uncomfortable, the most tactful way to approach this would be for Brent to explain to his mother that you were not raised this way, and that you both would appreciate it if she'd wear a robe when you're around. It's worth a try.

DEAR ABBY: If I sit at the end of a pew in church and someone comes in after me insisting I move because it's his/her "favorite" seat, should I do it or ask the person to sit somewhere else? -- GOT HERE FIRST IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR G.H.F.: If you're sitting in God's house, you should be on your best behavior. Don't commit a sin of omission; be an angel and shove over.