DEAR ABBY: I recently got married. My husband goes through my purse, my papers, my jewelry, my clothes -- and even my underwear. He says that as my husband he has the right to do that. He says I am wrong to object.
What are your thoughts on this? I feel like although I'm a wife, I am still a person and have a right to be respected. How would you react? -- CONFUSED JANE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFUSED JANE: I would react by calmly asking my husband why he thought it was necessary to invade my privacy like that and if he thought I was unfaithful, and I'd tell him I regarded it as a threat to the marriage. I'm sure he would react the same way if you searched through his belongings and the history on his phone and computer.
What he is doing is a red flag. It's an indication that he's insecure and controlling, and spouses who behave that way have been known to escalate to domestic violence. Marriage counseling now might head it off. But if it doesn't, you would be wise to consider ending the marriage before there are children involved.