DEAR ABBY: May I have some advice about a touchy subject? One of my boyfriend's close friends is going through his third bout with cancer and the prognosis is not good. He is married with a healthy 3-year-old son. So imagine our surprise when his wife announced she's pregnant.
This is a decision we do not support. I don't know what they're thinking, but if you are facing the reality that your spouse will not be around much longer, we don't feel it is wise to bring another child into the world who will never know his or her father.
Some of her close friends want to throw her a "sprinkle," and although I am only an acquaintance, I have been invited. How do I handle this? Should I attend and keep my thoughts to myself, decline and/or send a small gift in my absence? I have a hard time making small talk about subjects I don't agree with.
Did I mention she does nothing but complain about how hard her life is now? I'm afraid if I go and get involved, I'll be on the hook down the road when she wants to complain about how hard it is to raise two children alone. -- ISN'T MY CHOICE
DEAR ISN'T: Feeling as you do, decline the invitation. This woman needs friends around her during this painful and traumatic time, and you do not qualify. To send a small gift would be both thoughtful and kind, because I am sure her life is extremely difficult now.
As to this couple having made a decision with which you do not agree, allow me to point out that not all pregnancies are planned, and this may be one of them.