DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with a man with a big heart. He was my boyfriend when we were both 6 years old. We lost touch for many years, but when I ran into him again we reconnected with a vengeance. We are great together, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

We come from a small town, and he remained there until a year ago when he moved in with me. We now live in a major city and things are very different here. Applying for jobs requires a background check. In the small town we are from, it wasn't a common practice. He was, to put it gently, quite "mischievous" when he was younger. He has a couple of DUIs, plus a few other things.

During the past year he has turned things around, but despite his efforts he has been unable to find work. (He has no felonies.) There are websites to assist felons, but none to assist people like him. He has been to unemployment and temp agencies -- nothing. I'm getting desperate. How does someone with a criminal history find employment? -- FEELING HELPLESS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FEELING HELPLESS: That's a good question, and it's one that legislators have been looking into. Some laws in certain jurisdictions limit an employer's ability to look at criminal records. It might be worth your while to discuss this with a labor lawyer in your state to find out what the statutes are, because it is not the same in all states. While it might not solve your problem, it will give you a realistic idea of what the two of you are facing in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my dear husband for 20 years. Several years after our wedding, I found out he was dipping chewing tobacco. I was very upset because I realized he had been keeping a major secret from me. He has tried to quit several times, but starts up again.

It makes me furious every time I see proof of this disgusting habit. I have had to lie to my kids when evidence was left in his truck. I'm at my wits' end. I know he will quit only when he is ready, but how do I live with it? -- UNHAPPY ABOUT IT IN TEXAS

DEAR UNHAPPY: People who are addicted to chewing tobacco are at risk for cancers of the mouth, tongue and throat. I would be shocked if your husband's dentist hasn't discussed this with him more than once, because these cancers can be not only disfiguring but also life-threatening, if the patient can be saved.

There are medical interventions to help people who are hooked on tobacco -- but only if they want to be tobacco-free. An online community, TheQuit.org, offers information on helping someone stop chewing tobacco. Check it out.

My advice for living with an addict is to join a support group. It will help you recognize that you can't "fix" your husband. He and he alone is responsible for his own fate.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 62-year-old grandfather of a 5-year-old granddaughter. The other day I had her for the entire day. I decided to make a list of the things we were to accomplish throughout the course of the day. It turned out to be a great success. After completing each task, she would ask, "What's next on the list?"

The first item, No. 1, was to do our "strong" (that's what we call exercise). No. 2 was to write her alphabet and numbers. No. 3 was to "go on an adventure" (that's what we call walking the dog and exploring the nearby field).

Nos. 4, 5 and 6 -- go to the bank, get the car washed, then go to the park to swing, slide, etc. After the park, she asked if we could go to our favorite restaurant across the street. I replied, "How did you know that was next on the list?" Her expression was priceless.

After lunch we went home and did No. 8 -- another adventure, which was take the dogs for a walk again. No. 9 was painting time (what 5-year-old doesn't like to paint?). After cleaning up it was time for No. 10, wash the dishes and Swiffer the floor. No. 11 she could choose something to do. We spent the next two hours playing with her dolls.

At about 5:30 my daughter came to pick her up from an exhausted grandpa. Lists will be part of our routine from now on. I slept like a log that night and hope to have many nights and days just like it in the future. -- GRANDPA ROBERT IN LEXINGTON, KY.

DEAR GRANDPA ROBERT: Your grandchild is lucky not only to have such a loving and dedicated grandpa, but also one with your stamina. I sometimes hear from grandparents -- and other adults -- who ask me for suggestions about how to better connect with their young children. Your letter is a road map that will take them in the right direction.

DEAR ABBY: During one of their "stay up all night drinking beer and talking" sessions six months ago, my husband, "Ralph," and his best friend of more than 20 years, "Jim," had a huge fight. They haven't spoken since.

Ralph has tried at least three times to contact Jim by phone and email with no response. If Ralph's version of the story is true, they both behaved badly. Ralph has sincerely tried to apologize, but Jim refuses to speak to him.

It breaks my heart to see how much this has upset my husband. I am still Facebook friends with Jim, and every time I see him online I'm tempted to say something to him, but so far I have resisted. Would it be crossing the line for me to reach out and see if he'll talk to me about this? Or should I stay out of it? -- HOPEFUL PEACEMAKER IN ARIZONA

DEAR HOPEFUL PEACEMAKER: I know you mean well, but it would be a mistake to put yourself in the middle. Whatever happened between your husband and his friend must have been a doozy.

You state that this happened during one of their all-night drinking and talking sessions. To me this indicates that one or both of them may have alcohol issues that need to be addressed. This is what should be mentioned, but only to your spouse. If the loss of his long-standing friendship has been painful enough, he may be willing to listen.

DEAR ABBY: I love my husband. We have been married for 45 years. But if he isn't in control of the TV, he is unbearable. Even if someone else is watching something, he will come in and demand to change the channel. If he falls asleep and we change the channel back, he gets mad when he wakes up. He'll change it back and immediately fall asleep again. I have tried to get him to understand he is being rude, but he doesn't agree.

I realize this isn't a serious problem, but it's very annoying. Thanks for any suggestions you might have on this issue. -- MARRIED TO A TV HOG

DEAR MARRIED: Trying to reason with your husband won't work because what he's really doing is asserting himself as top dog in the household. I'm sorry you didn't ask me sooner because I could have saved you years of frustration by recommending you get a second television set in another room.

DEAR ABBY: I inherited my mom's engagement ring a few years ago when she passed away. I don't know what to do with it now. It appraised for $3,500, but I understand that is full retail. Female friends say I need to keep it to give to a special woman (or use the stone for another ring to offer her).

I'm almost 50 and haven't been in a relationship in many years. My last date was nearly 10 years ago, so I am thinking it is not likely I will ever have anyone to share the ring with. I hate for it to sit in a box until I am gone for someone else to deal with.

Do you think I should sell it or continue to hold onto it? I live a debt-free life after paying off my house a couple of years ago, so the extra money isn't a necessity. -- DAVID IN KENTUCKY

DEAR DAVID: Gems are meant to be enjoyed, and it is doing no one any good sitting in a drawer, a cupboard or a safe. If you have no relatives who might like to have the ring or the stone, then sell it.

DEAR ABBY: In late 2012, I met the most amazing man I've ever known, "Sean." We fell in love instantly. We had a perfect love until eight months later, when I suffered a mental breakdown.

I didn't know how to deal with anything in my life. I contemplated suicide. I pushed Sean away. In spite of all his pleas and loving expressions, I pushed harder.

Finally, six months into my recovery, I have started to change my life. I had already told Sean to move on. In the six months since we split up, he has recently started dating someone else. I'm better now and want him back. He still loves me and wants me back, too, but says he's afraid of another breakdown.

What do I do? Sean is absolutely perfect for me, and our love was fantastic up until that breakdown. Help me, please! -- FRANTIC IN FRESNO

DEAR FRANTIC: I'll try. If Sean is willing, schedule a session (or two) for both of you with your therapist, so he can discuss his concerns with a mental health professional who is familiar with your case. It may help Sean understand what happened, allay his fears and facilitate you getting back together if he's sincere about what he's telling you.