DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Derrick," and I have been engaged for almost a year. The whole time we've been together he has been overseas. While he has many of the characteristics I look for in a man, he isn't as down-to-earth as I'd like him to be.
He's now back in the U.S. for good, and we are living together. Derrick's a great father to his children, a good provider, intelligent, handsome and we have a lot in common. I love his family. But for a few months now I have been rethinking my decision to marry him.
I feel like I can't be myself around him without him judging me or making facial expressions. I have tried telling him how I feel, but I always end up hurting his feelings or he ends up pointing the finger at me.
He's the best person I have ever met, but I'm not deeply in love with him. He doesn't bring out the best in me and I don't know what to do. How should I handle this situation without breaking our engagement? -- MS. ENGAGED IN FLORIDA
DEAR MS. ENGAGED: You and Derrick might be able to communicate more effectively if you had premarital counseling. However, if it doesn't resolve your issues, do not marry him, regardless of how handsome he is or what a good provider you think he will be.
To have a successful marriage, you will have to be yourself -- and you and Derrick should bring out the best in each other. With help, you may be able to save the relationship. But if counseling doesn't work, do both of you a favor and become Ms. dis-engaged.