DEAR ABBY: When I was 10, I faked an injury so I could quit playing soccer. I couldn't articulate why the coach, who was clean-cut, friendly and fair, made me uneasy. After he died a few years ago, it came out that he had molested dozens of girls.
Over the subsequent 20 years, those same instincts have screamed at me three more times -- and twice I was proven correct. The third man to set off this alarm is in my social circle, along with his wife. Several of the couples in our group are starting families.
I feel like I'm in a terrible position. Should I say something and risk destroying an innocent man's reputation and the group dynamic, or remain silent and risk the kids being around a predator? I don't have a shred of evidence, just a gut-punch feeling.
I never said anything about the prior abusers, but I don't sleep well wondering if I should have -- even if it was based solely on a sixth sense. What should I do? -- NOSE LIKE A BLOODHOUND
DEAR NOSE: Child molesters belong to every race, both sexes, and come in various age ranges. The problem with criminals of every sort -- child abusers and con men included -- is they look like the rest of us.
I'm sorry you're having sleep problems, but the solution to them is not to accuse someone about whom you have no proof. To falsely accuse him could destroy both of you, and I don't recommend it.