DEAR ABBY: I just turned 14 and had a small party with relatives to celebrate it. A few days later my mom bought me thank-you cards and said I should send them out.

I told the people "thank you" for the gifts in person. I don't think thank-you cards are necessary for something as small as birthdays. Shouldn't they be reserved for things like weddings and baby showers?

Mom and I are anxious to see your answer. -- NO THANK-YOU

DEAR NO THANK-YOU: Listen to your mother because she's trying to tell you something important. When people do something nice for you -- such as give you a birthday or Christmas gift -- their thoughtfulness and generosity should be acknowledged with a written thank-you. It's not a waste of your time.

People are inclined to be more generous to those who show their appreciation, as you will learn in many situations as time passes.

DEAR ABBY: My sister has a 1-year-old baby boy we all adore. He is a cute little guy. My sister is understandably proud, but sometimes I feel it goes too far.

She sends pictures of him with captions like, "Cutest Baby Ever," or "He's the BEST!" She dresses him in shirts that say, "FAVORITE" or "The Greatest."

I feel it is rude to other parents and insensitive to other kids because it implies that other people's children don't measure up. Also, there are some adorable little cousins living in the same household as the "perfect" baby.

We all have attractive children, but not all of us feel the need to put others down in order to compliment our offspring. Am I overly sensitive, or is my sister tactless? -- IDAHO AUNTIE

DEAR IDAHO AUNTIE: Your sister is over-the-moon about her baby boy. Shirts like this for toddlers are very common. The children in that household are probably too young to read what's printed on the T-shirts and feel slighted, so simmer down and don't take it personally.

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago we were given a very expensive dining room set by relatives. No one else in the family wanted it, and we took it because our dining room pieces were old.

Now we would like to sell this set and buy something less formal and more comfortable. Do we have any obligation to the original owners? -- NEEDS ADVICE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR NEEDS ADVICE: If the dining room set was "lent" to you by the relatives, you should consult them. However, if it was given to you, then you have no obligation to do so and you may dispose of it as you wish.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay male college student who is out and comfortable with who I am -- 99 percent of the time. When I was in high school, I tried to come out to my parents and it didn't go smoothly. They had an emotional crisis for a day, then shrugged it off as "just another teenage phase." After the panic mode was over, they bought me off with an expensive car and continued believing I'm straight.

I make no attempt to hide who I am because I expect to be treated the same, regardless. But it's awkward whenever I am asked by either parent, "Do you have a girlfriend?" or, "How are you doing with the ladies?"

Do you have any advice on what I should say in response, given my parents' emotional reaction? -- IT'S WHO I AM IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WHO I AM: It is obvious that your parents are in denial. If you haven't told them again about your sexual orientation, you should.

If you are unable to summon up the words to tell them what they are waiting for isn't going to happen, then contact PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays -- pflag.org), not only for your own sake, but also for theirs. In light of your parents' reaction the last time you leveled with them, they may need emotional support to accept that you are gay, and PFLAG can provide it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for a year. We dated for four years before the wedding, and we have a son together. The child and I have never met any of my husband's immediate family. I have never spoken to any of them over the phone, either.

He has met all of my family members. I have asked repeatedly to meet his, and he tells me he's planning a family trip to visit. He seemed annoyed when I brought it up. What should I do? -- LEFT OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEFT OUT: That you have had no contact with these people in the five years you've been in the picture is, frankly, beyond strange. It appears there may be some things your husband hasn't told you. He may be ashamed of his family, on the outs with them, or they were never told about his involvement with you and/or the existence of their grandchild.

Because you have now been a member of their family for a year, pick up the phone, call your in-laws and introduce yourself.

DEAR ABBY: Please help to settle a debate between my husband and me. Is it all right for a woman to give relationship advice to her friend?

I have a friend who is struggling in her relationship, and I have tried to help with advice I feel is appropriate and positive. Is this wrong, or should I stay out of it like my husband suggests? -- GOOD FRIEND IN TEXAS

DEAR GOOD FRIEND: Part of female friendship is sharing experiences and advice with each other. However, remember that if your friend is "struggling" in this relationship, in the final analysis, she's going to have to resolve the problems herself. If she is unable to do that without coming back to you again and again, then her relationship probably won't last in spite of your best efforts.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 13 years, and I'm beginning to wonder if my husband still wants to be with me. He gets home before I do and stays in his room watching TV and piddling around on the computer. He never comes out to say hello when I get home; I go in there and greet him. He comes out when I have dinner fixed and then returns to his room.

I understand the "man cave" thing. Everyone needs their time and space, but this has become an everyday routine. I have tried to tell him I feel ignored. The next night he'll come into the living room and watch TV with me, but I feel he's doing it only because he feels he should, not because he wants to.

Is this my clue that he doesn't care about sharing time with me anymore? I don't want to beg for his attention. -- LONELY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LONELY: It appears that way. You refer to the room in which your husband watches TV and uses his computer as "his" room and not a den. Does he also sleep in there? If that's the case, and the only time you spend together is at the dinner table, your marriage is in suspended animation.

If what he's watching on television or his computer has become a substitute for having a relationship with you -- and that's what it appears -- you need to find out what happened to the intimacy you once shared. What you have described is a platonic roommate relationship and not a healthy marriage.

If you want to change the dynamics, you are going to have to have some serious conversations with your husband about what your needs are, and also his. Start now.

DEAR ABBY: My parents immigrated here from a foreign country 20 years ago. Although they speak some basic English, they have yet to become even remotely fluent in the language. As a result, they are always asking me to do everything for them -- pay their bills, file their taxes, go with them to doctors' appointments, translate for delivery people and take my mom on errands because she doesn't drive. I am irritated.

When will they learn English? I am the child, not the parent. I feel like I have been a mini-adult for many years as their personal chauffeur, secretary, interpreter, etc. I don't mind doing occasional favors for them, but enough is enough. What should I do? -- BEYOND FRUSTRATED IN CHICAGO

DEAR BEYOND FRUSTRATED: I think you should take into consideration that learning a new language is much easier for children than it is for adults. You were immersed in English when you went to school and were exposed to it not only in the classroom but also on the playground. Your parents weren't so lucky. They should have enrolled in an ESL class right away, but instead apparently interacted only with people who spoke their language.

However, it's never too late to make an effort, so encourage them to start now. A way to persuade them would be to ask them what they would do if, heaven forbid, something happened to you. Some people who have picked up English did so by watching English language television instead of what's aired in their own.

You are not alone in having this problem. The children of every ethnic group that has come to the United States has experienced what you are.