DEAR ABBY: I am five months pregnant with my second child and engaged to a wonderful man, "Tony." We get along well with my ex-husband with whom I share custody of my first child. But problems may arise when the baby is born.

I had a night of sex with a friend who is of a different race. Tony knows about it and the possibility that the baby will be mixed. He feels strongly that he will help me raise the child as his own.

My family knows nothing about this, nor does my ex. How should I handle the possible backlash and confusion if this child is, indeed, the product of my one-night stand? -- SCARED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SCARED: Say nothing prematurely. If your baby turns out to be mixed race, deal with it matter-of-factly. While there may be confusion, all you have to do is say that you and Tony plan to raise this child together in a loving family. If they wish to participate, they are welcome. If not, make it clear that you will do it without their help.

Your baby will not be alone. According to the Census Bureau, the population of mixed-race Americans grew 32 percent from 2000 to 2010.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Donna," and I have been together for eight years. We have a great relationship, respect each other and never argue. She has a low-paying job, and I don't ask much of her in regard to rent or other bills, but she does buy a few groceries now and then.

I have always told Donna that if she ever needs money, all she has to do is ask me and I'll help with what I can. My dilemma is that she "borrowed" about $50 in change I had been saving in a coffee can and didn't tell me. When I asked her about it, she said she'd put it back. That was more than a month ago.

Am I being petty? I'd hate for this to become an issue between us. Should I say something again, or just wait to see what Donna does? -- SHORTCHANGED GUY

DEAR SHORTCHANGED: That Donna would take the money, not tell you, and not pay it back or start "feeding the kitty" is disappointing. Because it bothers you to the point of writing to me, tell her what's on your mind. If you don't, it will fester until there is an eruption. Better to air this now, before it grows out of proportion.

DEAR ABBY: Upon going into a public women's restroom where the doors of the stalls are closed, what is the polite way to check if someone is in a stall? Should I try to open the door or look under to see if there are feet? -- GOTTA GO IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GOTTA: The time-honored, foolproof method is to check if there are feet. It's less disruptive than pushing on the door, which might startle an occupant.

DEAR ABBY: "Surfing in Petersburg, Ill." (June 17) raised good points about men who use online dating services. However, many of the things she pointed out could also be said of women who put their ads on the sites. The pickings are just as slim on our side of the fence. My hints to the "fairer sex":

(1) Don't overdo your makeup and hair in your photos. While some makeup can enhance a lady's look, we aren't seeking someone who looks ready to go trick-or-treating or perform as a clown in the circus.

(2) Decent men don't want to see all of your physical attributes on these sites. Dress appropriately for your age and don't allow the "girls" to burst out of your low neckline.

(3) Don't start your first conversation with, "What do you do and how much money do you make?" Intelligent men will realize that you are not as concerned with finding a quality guy as you are with looking for a fat wallet.

(4) You don't have to speak perfectly, but the teen lingo and texting abbreviations are a real turn-off.

(5) Don't constantly complain about your ex. It provides insight as to why he opted to break off your relationship or file for divorce. -- DAN IN OHIO

DEAR DAN: Thanks for the input. I had a hunch my male readers would react to "Surfing's" observations. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: To the ladies, I advise: Don't post a 10-year-old photo as being the way you currently look. And don't lie about your marital status or the number of times you've been married. These will come back to haunt you.

"A few extra pounds" does not mean 100 pounds overweight. If you are obese, admit it and say you are working on getting the weight off -- and make sure you are. -- EARLE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: For women who post photos of their pets, it's great that you love them, but I'm only looking to date their owner. Same thing for travelogue photos with no one in them -- what's the point? And if you say you are active with an athletic body, I'd like to see it. Descriptions can be subjective, and your perception might be different from mine. -- DONE MY TIME ONLINE

DEAR ABBY: Selfies in the bathroom mirror are tacky. Have a friend take a picture of you. Avoid taking photos of specific body parts (lips, feet, etc.). It's low-class.

Describe yourself in detailed terms. Every woman says she's down-to-earth, decent-looking, caring and smart. A little originality goes a long way! -- LOOKING IN LANSING, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: A woman should never post her previous wedding picture when looking for a new life partner. Photos with the ex that you've ripped down the middle or cropped don't work any better. We can still see his arm around you holding the 40-ounce beer, and it's not a good image for us.

And ladies, if you're looking for someone to sweep you out of that crappy life you're in, forget it. Fix your life first to the point where you can enjoy it by yourself, and then look for someone to share it with. We guys like our fixer-uppers to be houses or cars, not our women. -- FOUND MY QUEEN ON A SITE

DEAR ABBY: I was taken aback by "Surfing's" advice against facial hair. My beard is part of who I am. Assuming it is "hiding something" signals you may have trust issues with men. If you don't like what you see, move on! -- HAPPILY HIRSUTE IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR ABBY: I lost my sister in a brutal murder several years ago. I was too emotionally upset to view her body or go to the trial. As a result of not having been physically connected to her passing, I have lacked closure all these years.

I believe I am finally ready to face the reality and deal with it now. As part of the process of moving on, I would like to say goodbye to her at the last place I remember her living, which is the house she spent so much time and effort on and where she was murdered. The house sold shortly after it was listed.

I can't conceive of imposing on the new owners with my own "issues," so I do not intend to knock on the door and explain who I am. I am wondering, however, about the appropriateness of leaving a basket of my sister's favorite flowers on the front porch in her memory. I feel like I need to leave something for her.

If this would be all right to do, would a note to the effect of wishing the house and its owners a new beginning be the thing to do, or not including a note at all? I'm at a loss. -- LOST IN MONTANA

DEAR LOST: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your sister. I would not advise anonymously leaving flowers on the doorstep because it might upset the new homeowners. However, a signed card, with a message wishing them a lifetime of happiness in this house that has a special meaning for you because your beloved sister once lived there, might be something they would enjoy while providing closure for you.

DEAR ABBY: Our office has breakfast and lunch brought in every day for the staff, clients and visitors. They are nice lunches -- steak, baked chicken, sandwiches, pizza and barbecue -- and almost every day there are leftovers.

There are only five employees, and I am the only female. I earn less than half of what the men here do. I am also the only one who has teenaged sons. Most of the time when we divide up the leftovers to take home, I get more than my fair share. Sometimes it's by default -- nobody wants them. But sometimes it's by design. The boss says, "Take most of it -- you have kids."

I appreciate the extra food. With an added salad or some extra vegetables, dinner is ready in short order when I get home. (Plus, it saves me hundreds of dollars each month in groceries.)

But I'm starting to feel funny about it. Is it an act of kindness, or could it have a negative impact on my status in the office? Or am I looking a gift horse in the mouth and worried about nothing? -- AMBIVALENT DOWN SOUTH

DEAR AMBIVALENT: It appears you work in an office with unusually considerate people. I can't see how accepting the leftovers would in any way compromise your status in the office.

What would happen to the food if you didn't take it? Would it be wasted? As you said, this is saving you hundreds of dollars a month in groceries. I agree you may be looking a gift horse in the mouth, and that ain't hay.