DEAR ABBY: I lost my sister in a brutal murder several years ago. I was too emotionally upset to view her body or go to the trial. As a result of not having been physically connected to her passing, I have lacked closure all these years.

I believe I am finally ready to face the reality and deal with it now. As part of the process of moving on, I would like to say goodbye to her at the last place I remember her living, which is the house she spent so much time and effort on and where she was murdered. The house sold shortly after it was listed.

I can't conceive of imposing on the new owners with my own "issues," so I do not intend to knock on the door and explain who I am. I am wondering, however, about the appropriateness of leaving a basket of my sister's favorite flowers on the front porch in her memory. I feel like I need to leave something for her.

If this would be all right to do, would a note to the effect of wishing the house and its owners a new beginning be the thing to do, or not including a note at all? I'm at a loss. -- LOST IN MONTANA

DEAR LOST: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your sister. I would not advise anonymously leaving flowers on the doorstep because it might upset the new homeowners. However, a signed card, with a message wishing them a lifetime of happiness in this house that has a special meaning for you because your beloved sister once lived there, might be something they would enjoy while providing closure for you.

DEAR ABBY: Our office has breakfast and lunch brought in every day for the staff, clients and visitors. They are nice lunches -- steak, baked chicken, sandwiches, pizza and barbecue -- and almost every day there are leftovers.

There are only five employees, and I am the only female. I earn less than half of what the men here do. I am also the only one who has teenaged sons. Most of the time when we divide up the leftovers to take home, I get more than my fair share. Sometimes it's by default -- nobody wants them. But sometimes it's by design. The boss says, "Take most of it -- you have kids."

I appreciate the extra food. With an added salad or some extra vegetables, dinner is ready in short order when I get home. (Plus, it saves me hundreds of dollars each month in groceries.)

But I'm starting to feel funny about it. Is it an act of kindness, or could it have a negative impact on my status in the office? Or am I looking a gift horse in the mouth and worried about nothing? -- AMBIVALENT DOWN SOUTH

DEAR AMBIVALENT: It appears you work in an office with unusually considerate people. I can't see how accepting the leftovers would in any way compromise your status in the office.

What would happen to the food if you didn't take it? Would it be wasted? As you said, this is saving you hundreds of dollars a month in groceries. I agree you may be looking a gift horse in the mouth, and that ain't hay.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty-three years ago my husband and I lost our firstborn son. As my husband was active duty military, we could have buried him anywhere in the United States. At the time, we were in a place where my sister swore to me she would always live, and she would always be there to take care of him. I knew with my husband's career we had many more moves ahead of us, and it helped to ease the loss knowing that he would be taken care of.

Well, that lasted all of three years. My husband and I are now at a point where we have settled down and we know where we should have buried our precious angel, instead of trusting my sister.

We want to have him exhumed, cremated and placed in a veterans cemetery, but my question is this: Do I have the right to ask my sister to pay part of the costs as she "broke" her promise to help care for my son? -- HEARTBROKEN MOTHER

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your son. While it's clear that there are many hurt feelings about what happened after his original interment, I think it's time to forgive your sister.

It's a fact of life that sometimes unforeseen circumstances prevent people with the best of intentions from keeping promises they make. Forgive her if you can, but don't ask her for money. She may owe you an apology, but she does not owe you any money.

DEAR ABBY: I'm very close to my family. We visit each other's homes often. But for the past year or so, something has begun to bother me. It's cellphone chargers.

Whether people come for a week or just for dinner, out come the chargers! The kids all start plugging in their cellphones and tablets, and the adults follow suit with their cellphones and laptops.

I started asking around and it's not just happening to me. A lot of my friends have the same gripe. Lamps, toasters, pencil sharpeners -- you name it -- their cords are left dangling long after the guests have departed. After the last weekend, I installed a power strip in the TV room and will direct the traffic there in the future.

Would you please let people know how rude this is? Also mention that the host is not responsible for an electronic item plugged in on a kitchen counter, or anywhere for that matter. Example: "Aunt Sarah, who got my iPad wet?" (It was fine, but it had been plugged in on the most-used surface in the kitchen.) -- UNPLUGGED IN SALEM, N.Y.

DEAR UNPLUGGED: While the power strip you installed is the practical solution, the problem is that the people you have described are thoughtless. Polite guests leave their host's home in the same condition it was in when the guests arrived. In this instance, it means being considerate enough to plug in any appliances that the guests unplugged, so the host doesn't have to wonder why the darned thing isn't working after everyone has departed.

And as for electronic items foolishly left on a wet counter, if there was any damage, the fault would not be yours. Your niece/nephew was lucky.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in desperate need of help. I have been with my girlfriend for four years. With every long-term relationship, there are bound to be issues. I haven't felt loved by her in a long time, and I think I have fallen out of love with her. I can't even tell her that I love her anymore because I don't want to lie.

When we make love, it's dull and boring. I want to feel the way I used to about her. When I was near her, my hairs used to stand up, my heart would race, my body would quiver and I would never want to let her go. How can I feel that way about her again? -- WANTS THAT OLD FEELING

DEAR WANTS: The problem with relationships is that they can only be brand-new once. With the passage of time, to some extent the excitement fades. That's where the "work" comes in.

Longtime couples must make an effort to keep their relationship fresh and exciting. This means introducing spontaneity and new experiences to each other.

You say you haven't felt loved by her in a long time. My advice would be to talk to her about it. Because you can't bring yourself to tell her you love her, has it occurred to you that she might feel as though she has been emotionally abandoned by you?

If you want that old feeling back, you and your lady will need to resume communication on a meaningful level. It's not always easy, but honesty can revive a relationship that's wilting.

DEAR ABBY: I live with my longtime boyfriend in a house he owns. We're five hours away from my parents and siblings and the town in which I grew up. It's a beautiful house with lots of land, and I can imagine raising a family here. However, I always thought that if I had children, I'd live close to the rest of my family. I would want my parents nearby so they could lend a hand, and I want my kids to have a close relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

My boyfriend is open to the idea of selling the house, but I'm not sure I would want him to. What should I do? I love this house, but how can I start a family so far from my own? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Before you make any decisions, discuss this with your parents and see if their vision of grandparenthood is similar to your fantasy. Take into consideration how close they are to your siblings and how involved they are in each other's lives. Be sure that the kind of extended family relationship you envision is realistic.

If everyone is on board, then you and your boyfriend should talk about what relocating will mean in terms of not only selling this house, but also the impact it might have on your ability to earn a living. This property may be terrific, but if it cannot offer you the lifestyle you wish for, then you would be better served to move. But only you can decide that.