DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Chris" for almost five years. He's my high school sweetheart. We still live with our parents, but we feel we're ready to move out and start our lives together.

The issue is I have a cat ("Silky") and a dog named "Chips"; Chris can't stand them. He has said he doesn't want Silky to live in our home and he would make her an outdoor cat. He also doesn't want Chips to come with us because Chips can be whiny and vocal.

I feel it's my responsibility to take my pets with me when I move out. I don't want to abandon them and leave them with my parents, and I absolutely refuse to put them up for adoption. I feel if I decide to bring them with me, Chris will make them feel miserable. Silky is afraid of him, and Chris doesn't like Chips getting close to him.

I love my boyfriend, but I love my pets, too. Please tell me what to do! -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STUCK: Wake up! You are an animal lover; your boyfriend clearly has an antipathy toward them. Your cat is afraid of Chris because she knows he doesn't like her or he did something that scared her. If he makes Silky become an outdoor cat (or she gets loose "by accident"), she may be at serious risk. And your dog will be miserable on the receiving end of constant rejection.

It is very important that you learn to live independently. Because Chris is your high school sweetheart and you haven't dated many others, it's important that you take some time and date other people before deciding to move in with anyone. You and Chris may care about each other, but your compatibility is in question because, face it, you two have differences.

DEAR ABBY: I'm not sure if this has been mentioned in your column before, but I would like to make your readers aware of something while they travel. When staying at a hotel, it is important never to reveal personal or financial information over the in-room phone, even if the caller claims to be an employee of the hotel.

Sometimes scammers will call the front desk of a hotel and provide a generic name or room number. Unsuspecting desk agents may transfer the call to that room, and the scammer will then pose as a desk agent. He or she will say something plausible to get the guest to provide credit information over the phone, and in a flash, the guest is a victim of theft.

If such a thing happens, guests should immediately dial the front desk and ask the agent if a call for that reason was intentionally placed to the room. Very likely, it will not have been. -- JOHN IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR JOHN: Whoa! Travelers can never be too careful. Thank you for the wake-up call.

DEAR ABBY: My son's out-of-town wedding is coming up. My mother will attend and be traveling with me. I am single, and my mom is also single. She's planning on sharing a room with me.

Abby, my mom has a severe snoring problem, and I'm a very light sleeper. I cannot sleep with a snorer! I don't want to ruin my time at my son's wedding, and she's upset about the added expense of another room, which neither of us can really afford, but I don't know what else to do. -- MOTHER OF THE GROOM

DEAR MOTHER OF THE GROOM: The separate room may be a luxury you can't "really afford," but incurring the expense may be worth it so you won't sleepwalk through your son's wedding. I'm not recommending earplugs because, while they may dull the racket, they won't completely eliminate the sound of severe snoring.

P.S. If your mother's physician doesn't know about her snoring, it should be discussed so the doctor can make sure it isn't a symptom of a serious health problem.

DEAR ABBY: My son has two children who are in temporary foster care, and has visitation with the ex's stepsister, who got the right to grant visitation. Recently we had a birthday party for them. All the grandparents, aunts and uncles were invited. It was a kiddie party, of course, and I jumped into the pool and played with the children. We had a ball!

A few weeks later, I heard the stepsister's mother had said I had "no business" playing in the pool with the kids. I was taken aback. Isn't that what grandmas are for? I love playing with the little ones.

Was I wrong for not "acting my age"? Did I make a fool of myself? The custody fight is ongoing and I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize my son winning custody. -- WORRIED IN NEW YORK

DEAR WORRIED: I don't think you did anything inappropriate. I suspect the stepsister's mother was jealous that she wasn't the person in the pool, which is why she didn't speak up during the party and you had to hear it weeks later secondhand.

DEAR ABBY: On July 31 you printed my question about throwing a 25th anniversary party for my parents. I want to let you know that instead of taking on an expensive dinner that I can't afford right now, I'm collaborating with a cousin to have a chef come into their home to prepare a nice meal for them and the people who participated in their wedding. I felt it was a much more personal and cost-effective way to give them the nice anniversary they deserve. Thank you for your advice! -- SON OF SILVERS

DEAR S.O.S.: I'm delighted you wrote to share your solution. The idea is terrific. I am sure your parents will be thrilled and other readers will appreciate your ingenuity. Thank you!

DEAR ABBY: My wife walks around our house nude or topless with the shades open, and anybody walking outside can see in. Recently she did this while some painting contractors were working around our house. I have begged her not to, to no avail. What should I do? -- MORE MODEST IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR M.M.: It appears you married an exhibitionist. You might point out to her that parading around that way could be considered disrespectful to the workers she's exposed herself to. But don't be surprised if she's unwilling to change because it may give her some kind of thrill. (I'm sure it also gives the viewers something to talk about around the dinner table.)

DEAR ABBY: Please remind beachgoers that they need to leave their fire pits open and not cover them with sand. My 16-month-old grandnephew was walking on a beach in Carmel, California, with his mom and dad when he suffered burns to his feet from walking across sand beneath which were hot coals. It will take at least three weeks for this dear baby's feet to heal from those burns.

People don't realize that covering the coals with sand hides them and keeps them hot for up to 24 hours! Beach fires must be treated differently from those in a forest, where they should be covered with dirt because of the surrounding trees. -- BEACH ETIQUETTE

DEAR B.E.: I'm printing your letter not only as a warning to beachgoers who might be using fire pits, but also to the parents of small children because hot buried coals can be a hidden danger to their little ones. Because the coals cannot be seen, children sometimes confuse fire pits ringed by rocks with "sandboxes," and the results can be tragic.

According to the University of California Irvine's Regional Burn Center, "coals should be extinguished by drenching them with water, waiting five minutes and drenching them again." (Italics are mine.) When water isn't available, the coals should simply be allowed to burn out.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Patrick," and I were married last year. On the morning of our wedding, his grandmother, "Sally," died. It was very sudden. Everyone assumed we'd postpone it, but we didn't.

Abby, my husband is still emotionally distraught over her death. Patrick's parents were absent from his life and Grandma Sally had raised him. Did we make a mistake by not postponing our wedding? How can I help him? -- SAD NEW WIFE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SAD NEW WIFE: Life is for the living. I don't know how large your wedding was, but if there were contracts involved (hall, flowers, music, caterer, guests coming in from out of town, etc.), you were right to follow through with your plans. I am sure that's what Grandma Sally would have wanted.

Please convey to your husband how sorry I am for his loss. Because he is moving so slowly through the grieving process, it would be helpful for him to contact a grief support group. To find one, he can ask a doctor, clergyman or hospice for a referral.