DEAR ABBY: It disturbs me greatly that we keep reading about parents leaving their children in cars, whether it be absentmindedness, stress or downright intentional. It needs to stop.

I'm hoping car manufacturers can come up with an idea -- maybe a sensor that once the doors are closed and locked, should there be motion or a sound in the vehicle, the windows would automatically open, giving a passer-by a chance to see inside and maybe save a precious life. -- FRUSTRATED BY "PREMATURE" ANGELS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are not the only one who is disturbed by these recent tragedies. They are on the minds of a lot of people lately. Today's mail brought a suggestion from another reader who is hoping to put an end to the loss of these fragile young lives. A mother in Westland, Michigan, offered this:

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for parents. Talk to your children when they are in the car with you. I always carried on a conversation, sang or counted to my kids, even newborns, and continued through the years they were rear-facing and forward-facing. It helped them to learn their ABCs, count, and even know where streets were. It was also a running reminder that someone very special was with me. I never listened to the radio, unless it was nursery rhymes on DVD or toddler songs. It not only helped me teach my children, but it also made driving fun and safe for the tiny passengers in my car. -- D.W.K.

READERS: A nonprofit group called KidsAndCars suggests that parents "place something they will need (when exiting the vehicle), such as a cellphone, handbag or briefcase, near the child in the back seat. Or keep a large stuffed animal in the child's car seat when it's not occupied. When the child is in the car seat, place the stuffed animal in the front passenger seat as a reminder that the child is in the back.

"And tell the child's day care center or baby sitter that they will always be called if your child isn't coming in as scheduled. If the child is absent without an explanation, the day care center or baby sitter is expected to contact a parent or another designated caregiver."

I would not recommend an automatic device because it could fail.

DEAR ABBY: I am friends with a couple who have been married for three years. I have worked with the wife since before their wedding. The wife is overtly sexual toward me and has cheated on her husband with many men during the last year.

I'll be changing jobs soon and think the husband should know what his wife has been doing. Should I send him an anonymous letter? Tell him in person? Or let him find out for himself in the future? -- TROUBLED FRIEND IN DETROIT

DEAR TROUBLED: Because the woman is "overtly" sexual with you, it's likely the husband already has an inkling. Whether you decide to tell him his wife is cheating with multiple men depends on whether you would want to be told. But this I can tell you emphatically: This information should not be conveyed in an unsigned letter from a "friend."

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old plus-sized woman (60 or 70 pounds overweight), but very comfortable in my own skin. When swimming in public, I wear a one-piece bathing suit because it doesn't attract a lot of attention. When I'm home, I have a bikini top and shorts I prefer to wear. This is because I don't like being covered up like it was in the 1950s, and I feel good when my curves are properly accentuated.

When I go back to see my family and swim, I wear a bikini top and black shorts. Recently, my mother said, "When the family comes over, you can't wear that. It makes people uncomfortable."

I was shocked, and we had a huge argument. Most of my cousins are fine with my attire, as are my aunts. Only Mom has a problem with it. I asked if she'd feel the same about a large man swimming without a T-shirt. She said it's different for women.

Am I wrong for wanting to be comfortable in my childhood home? Mom should be proud to have a daughter who accepts herself as she is. Who is wrong here? -- OFFENDED DAUGHTER IN CHICAGO

DEAR OFFENDED DAUGHTER: You are not wrong for wanting to be comfortable. But please remember that when you visit someone else's home, that person's wishes take precedence -- even if it used to be your childhood home.

While you say you are comfortable in your own skin, it would be interesting to know what your physician thinks about your obesity. I suspect that your mother would be prouder of you if you were less complacent and more willing to do something about your weight problem.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three beautiful daughters. I have been married for 11 years now. I married at 19, just after high school. My husband is 18 years older.

The first five years of marriage, when I fully depended on him, he was arrogant, violent and unfaithful. He hurt me so badly that I vowed to work hard and when I was independent, I would move away. Now I have a stable job -- but my kids love him, and I know they will be hurt.

My husband is jobless now. He tells me he supported me when I was jobless, so it's my turn to take care of him. I stay because I feel guilty. Should I finally forgive him, and if so, how? -- BITTER IN NAIROBI

DEAR BITTER: If you truly want to forgive your husband for the physical and emotional abuse you suffered in the early years of your marriage, a place to start would be to talk with your spiritual adviser.

You didn't mention whether your husband is trying to find another job, if there is a valid reason why he can't work, or if he's still unfaithful. If it's the latter, then in my opinion, you "owe" him the same amount of financial support that he gave you and nothing more. However, because I am not familiar with the marriage laws in Kenya, you should discuss this with a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl who has two younger brothers. My parents are good people, but they can be extremely harsh and cruel. They curse us out and scream at us for petty things almost every day. I told my best friend about it and she said that it is emotional abuse. I disagree.

I have always been told that every parent yells at their kids. Maybe not every day, but regardless, everyone gets mad sometimes. I honestly didn't even think there was such a thing as emotional abuse.

I don't know what to do. I have been suffering this almost my entire life. I didn't think that it was abuse. Am I being emotionally abused? I would appreciate your help. -- TIRED OF THE TIRADES

DEAR TIRED: The answer to your question is yes, your friend is correct. Because your parents have been doing this on a regular basis, it qualifies as verbal/emotional abuse. Be glad you now recognize it, because their lack of control isn't normal.

Their anger and frustration may have nothing to do with you and your siblings. The problem with this kind of abuse -- as opposed to physical abuse -- is that although it is damaging, it is often not taken seriously.

If there are family members or close friends who can intervene, help your parents to see how damaging their lack of control is and convince them to get help, you should confide in them. It might be a good idea for you and your brothers to spend as much time with friends in healthier families as you can. This will get you out of the line of fire and enable you all to see what normal family interactions are like.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a divorced man, "Chris," for four years. He has a son who is 16. On the weekends Chris has his son, I become the "invisible girlfriend." Sometimes the three of us will go to a movie or out to eat, but I am never welcome to spend the night.

Chris and I have talked about living together, but never in depth. Unless I bring it up, he never says anything about it. When Valentine's Day came around, Chris asked if we could celebrate it a few days late because he was scheduled to have his son that night. I was heartbroken because even a Valentine dinner for the three of us was out.

I am beginning to think there is no future with Chris. He seems fine just dating and seeing me every other weekend as someone to hang out with, but not to commit to. Suggestions? -- DISMISSED IN DENVER

DEAR DISMISSED: When you started dating Chris, his son was 12. It seems to me that what he has done is put his parenting responsibilities before anything else, and I respect that.

If romance and marriage are what you're looking for, I suggest you stop asking Chris about living together and ask instead about whether the two of you have a future. Chris has been treating you like a friend with benefits for four years. The pattern is set and it isn't likely to change by itself.