DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a lake house and invited a couple (close friends) to join us for a few days. The husband has cancer and has been taking chemo. We wanted them both to rest, as the wife is his only caregiver. We all thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to relax and enjoy nature.

The second night they were there, the husband went to bed very early and the three of us were visiting. At one point, my friend went into the kitchen. When she didn't come out, I went to check on her and found her close to a diabetic coma.

It was very frightening. She hadn't eaten much dinner and her blood sugar had crashed to a dangerous level. Fortunately, we knew what to do because my dad was diabetic.

We were an hour from the nearest hospital and had no cell reception. We did not know where her medication was. My friend was making no sense and couldn't remember.

I want to respect my friends' privacy, but if you travel with someone you know has a medical condition, is it OK to ask where they keep their meds in case of an emergency? How do you approach the subject? -- CARING FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CARING FRIEND: Of course it's OK. And a perfect way to lead up to that question would be to relate the story you have written to me.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, for the most part, is a happy-go-lucky, funny person during the day. But once we sit down to dinner, he starts criticizing and making mean comments about me. Once dinner is over, he's back to being pleasant.

I have addressed this with him to no avail. I have tried ignoring his comments, changing the subject, asking calmly for him to make his concerns known before or after rather than during the meal. I have suggested we eat dinner away from the table or separately. I have sought the counsel of a therapist and tried implementing her suggestions.

I am at my wits' end. I'm a well-educated, good person, a good wife and co-provider. I do not understand why he acts this way at the dinner table. Your thoughts, Abby? -- IT'S ALL GOOD, UNTIL ...

DEAR IT'S ALL GOOD: When someone tells me, "It's all good" and then describes a marriage in which her husband beats her down emotionally once a day, I have to wonder what her definition of "good" is. For whatever reason, your husband appears to be trying to punish you for something by deliberately upsetting you every evening.

Was it his behavior that caused you to seek counseling or something else? I ask because I think the wrong spouse may have seen the therapist. Unless he decides to get help and find a healthier way of channeling his anger/frustration, nothing will change, because as it stands, there have been no "consequences" for his actions.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old man who has been a successful swimmer in high school and now in college. Over the past few months, I have become obsessed with developing six-pack abs. I have never had much success with women, and I thought that looking like a movie star might finally get me noticed and make me feel good about myself.

As a result, I have become obsessive about my diet. I have dropped 10 pounds, mostly muscle, and my performance in the pool has suffered. If I don't see perfect definition between every ab and don't exercise for at least 2 1/2 hours a day, I feel fat and guilty whenever I eat. I have awakened in the middle of the night worrying about what I'll eat the next day. I'm concerned for the future when my metabolism will inevitably slow down.

I have begun to think that death is a better scenario than being fat, or feeling that way. I want to be able to enjoy eating again and get my life back. I don't want to tell my parents or friends for fear of seeming weak-minded. Where can I go for help? -- FEELING LOST IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR FEELING LOST: Physical perfection is no guarantee that you'll find love. Liking yourself and accepting yourself for who you are is what attracts others.

Although "looking like a movie star" can be an asset -- depending upon who the movie star is -- unless you are secure about who you are and what you have to offer, you can't maintain a healthy relationship. (If you don't believe me, look at the tabloids and start counting how many movie star romances resemble a game of musical chairs.)

If you truly think that death might be preferable to being fat, then you are in trouble. You may have a serious eating disorder, one that could shorten your life. Most people who have an eating disorder need professional help to overcome it, so the place to go is to your student health center. Ask to speak with a mental health counselor about what you're doing and how you're feeling. It is important that you understand what has caused this so you can be successfully treated.

DEAR ABBY: My parents' 25th wedding anniversary is coming up. I thought it would be nice to have a dinner with the 12 to 14 people who were in their wedding party.

If I had it at a nice restaurant, would it be rude to ask them to pay their own way for dinner? I am only 21 and just graduated from college, so I can't manage it on my own. Any advice? -- SON OF "SILVER" PARENTS IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SON: I think the sentiment is sweet, but if you are going to have this kind of an anniversary party for your parents, you should wait until you can afford to host it. For this one, invite your parents out for dinner, and give them the kind of party you're planning on their 30th.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's family are hypocrites! They talk about everyone and their problems, yet when something arises in their family, they want it kept hush-hush.

My sister-in-law, "Gina," had a baby recently. Her husband, "Allan," was suspicious because their sexual relations had stopped years ago. He did a store-bought DNA test (twice) and realized the baby was not his. When he confronted her, she wouldn't tell him who the father is, but said she had discussed the pregnancy with the father, and they had decided it would be best for her to raise the baby as her husband's.

Well, Allan and Gina are now being divorced, and he's having his name removed from the baby's birth certificate. Of course, everyone but me wants this to stay quiet. I want the wife of the man to know, and I want all the people my in-laws trash all the time to know!

Perhaps this seems mean, but dang it, why shouldn't everyone know that Gina isn't Miss Perfect? What do you think? -- TICKED OFF IN LOUISIANA

DEAR TICKED OFF: Please don't act on impulse. I think that as disgusted as you are with your in-laws, you should keep your mouth shut. If you spread this around, it could become the talk of the community and eventually embarrass the child, who is blameless in all this.

DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has recently fallen in love with a beautiful male-to-female transgender. She considers herself a woman, but on social media lists herself as male.

I am wondering whether I should consider myself gay, bisexual or straight? I always considered myself straight until recently. -- NO LONGER SURE IN TEXAS

DEAR NO LONGER SURE: Because the person presents herself to you as female, then you are a straight man who has fallen in love with a transgender woman. If you were attracted only to members of the same sex, then you would be a homosexual. People who are attracted to both men and women are bisexual.

DEAR ABBY: I use public transportation to commute to and from work. I use the time to read and unwind from my day. People often start talking to me, and I find myself trapped for the next 45 minutes listening to an unwelcome monologue about their lives. The fact that I have earplugs in and a book on my lap is no deterrent.

I don't want to be rude. What's the best way to tell someone I prefer to chill out and not listen to his/her ramblings? -- BOOKWORM IN CALGARY, CANADA

DEAR BOOKWORM: Smile at the person and say, "I need this time to catch up on my reading." That's asserting your right to privacy, and it's not rude.