DEAR ABBY: My husband's family are hypocrites! They talk about everyone and their problems, yet when something arises in their family, they want it kept hush-hush.

My sister-in-law, "Gina," had a baby recently. Her husband, "Allan," was suspicious because their sexual relations had stopped years ago. He did a store-bought DNA test (twice) and realized the baby was not his. When he confronted her, she wouldn't tell him who the father is, but said she had discussed the pregnancy with the father, and they had decided it would be best for her to raise the baby as her husband's.

Well, Allan and Gina are now being divorced, and he's having his name removed from the baby's birth certificate. Of course, everyone but me wants this to stay quiet. I want the wife of the man to know, and I want all the people my in-laws trash all the time to know!

Perhaps this seems mean, but dang it, why shouldn't everyone know that Gina isn't Miss Perfect? What do you think? -- TICKED OFF IN LOUISIANA

DEAR TICKED OFF: Please don't act on impulse. I think that as disgusted as you are with your in-laws, you should keep your mouth shut. If you spread this around, it could become the talk of the community and eventually embarrass the child, who is blameless in all this.

DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has recently fallen in love with a beautiful male-to-female transgender. She considers herself a woman, but on social media lists herself as male.

I am wondering whether I should consider myself gay, bisexual or straight? I always considered myself straight until recently. -- NO LONGER SURE IN TEXAS

DEAR NO LONGER SURE: Because the person presents herself to you as female, then you are a straight man who has fallen in love with a transgender woman. If you were attracted only to members of the same sex, then you would be a homosexual. People who are attracted to both men and women are bisexual.

DEAR ABBY: I use public transportation to commute to and from work. I use the time to read and unwind from my day. People often start talking to me, and I find myself trapped for the next 45 minutes listening to an unwelcome monologue about their lives. The fact that I have earplugs in and a book on my lap is no deterrent.

I don't want to be rude. What's the best way to tell someone I prefer to chill out and not listen to his/her ramblings? -- BOOKWORM IN CALGARY, CANADA

DEAR BOOKWORM: Smile at the person and say, "I need this time to catch up on my reading." That's asserting your right to privacy, and it's not rude.

DEAR ABBY: In short, my son is a klutz -- to the point that it affects his self-confidence. He's different from everyone else in the family.

Is being a klutz genetic? Is it permanent? He's not doing well academically, either. How can I help him? -- PARENT WHO CARES

DEAR PARENT: One way to help your son would be to stop other family members from making fun of him and labeling him as a klutz. When people laugh and ridicule others, it makes them only more self-conscious and more clumsy.

Another way to help would be to have him examined by an ophthalmologist and a neurologist. His problem may be poor depth perception or a neurological or balance issue. And while you're at it, consider having him evaluated for a learning disability, which may be the cause of his academic difficulties.

DEAR ABBY: I have a pet peeve. I hate it when people ask to "try my meal" or to have a taste, especially when I haven't had one myself. When I say no, my boyfriend calls me selfish. If we're with friends, I feel obligated to say yes to avoid appearing rude.

I seldom trade bites with my boyfriend because I don't eat meat and he usually orders something I don't want. Some nights we cook our own separate meals, and he still asks to try mine (even though he's a better cook than I am).

Abby, how can I say no without looking or feeling selfish and rude? I just want to enjoy my entire meal without hearing, "Can I have a bite?" -- PET PEEVE IN PORTLAND

DEAR PET PEEVE: Many people regard sharing food to be an act of intimacy. Because it makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do is say, "I'd prefer not to." If these folks are friends, they must know how you feel about this by now. And as for your boyfriend, I can't help but wonder why he would persist in doing something that he knows annoys you unless he's doing it to tease you.

DEAR ABBY: Are night owls born or raised to stay up late? Can a night owl successfully become a morning lark? -- TIRED NIGHT OWL IN OTTAWA

DEAR TIRED NIGHT OWL: Night owls are usually born that way, but the pattern can be changed. If it creates problems for you, you may have a condition called "delayed sleep phase disorder." The most effective way to find out if this is your problem would be to consult a sleep (disorder) specialist. Therapies are available, and a specialist can help you determine which one would be the best for you.

DEAR ABBY: I adore my son-in-law, "Tom." He's a wonderful husband to our daughter. He's always inviting us to dinner along with his parents and family. We get along with them, but can't stand how they treat Tom. We have never seen parents treat their children the way they treat him -- especially the father. Tom is practically begging for his approval and attention on a daily basis.

The last time we had dinner together, you could see the hurt and embarrassment on Tom's face after his father spoke to him. I desperately want to say something to the father, but I don't know if I should. What would you do in this situation? -- DESPERATELY WANTS TO HELP

DEAR WANTS TO HELP: I'd sit down with Tom and tell him how much I love him, how I appreciate the wonderful way he treats my daughter, and say what a joy it is that he is a part of my family. Then I'd tell Tom his father's behavior is uncalled for, and how painful it is to watch because he doesn't deserve it.

I would explain that some people in this world try to control others by withholding affection and approval, and regrettably, it's a technique abusive parents -- and sometimes lovers -- use to exert control over those who love them and want only to be loved and accepted. And then I would ask him if he wanted me to call his father on it, because watching it happen is painful and prevents you from enjoying the dinner.

P.S. Counseling might help Tom recognize what's going on and give him the tools to handle his father, if he's open to it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and feeling so sad because I just lost my dad. I can't talk to my stepmom because she's too busy hanging out with her friends, drinking and partying. My dad died a couple of months ago, and she's already having sex with my dad's friends. I heard them talking about it. I have no other family that I can go to. I really hate her right now! Please tell me what to do. -- GRIEVING IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRIEVING: Please know how sorry I am for the loss of your father. It would be helpful for you to find another adult to talk to about your feelings. Because you have no family other than your stepmother, perhaps the mother of one of your friends would listen and guide you. If that's not possible, and you belong to a church, you should talk to the minister.

Hating your stepmom isn't the answer. She may be acting the way she is because she's trying to cope with the loss of your father by attempting to distract herself from the pain. It won't work, by the way, but she may have to learn that by trial and error. A grief-support group could be helpful for both of you.

TO MY MUSLIM READERS: The fast of Ramadan is officially ended. Happy Eid al-Fitr, everyone. May God make yours a blessed feast.