DEAR ABBY: I'm having problems with my boyfriend, "Adam," and I feel stuck. He recently was accepted to graduate school, and we're planning to move there. We haven't lived together before, and I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing.
I will be working and paying for everything, and Adam will be just going to school. He thinks this is a fair trade-off because "we won't have to worry about money at all" once he has completed his education.
Abby, I don't think he cares that it's ME going with him. I feel like a space-filler and a meal ticket. How do I go about finding out his true feelings and intentions? He doesn't make me feel special, wanted or important -- ever. I worry this will end badly. I do love him, but I don't want this to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Please give me some advice. -- TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE IN INDIANA
DEAR MOVE OR NOT: You do need advice -- and here it is: Your woman's intuition is telling you this isn't right, and that your boyfriend can't be trusted to fulfill his part of the bargain. You should listen to it because that's a poor basis for uprooting yourself and becoming his benefactor.
The person you have described is someone centered solely upon himself and his own needs. A man who doesn't make you feel special, wanted or important would make a very poor husband.