DEAR ABBY: I'm a 32-year-old woman who is HIV-positive. My colleague -- who is unaware of my status -- recently introduced me to a relative of hers who is also lonely and looking for someone to settle down with. We "clicked" and seem to complement each other in every way, although we haven't had any sexual encounter.

My fear is, how do I disclose my status without being rejected? He seems to have big plans for us, which include settling down and having kids in the future. I am also worried that he might be angry with my colleague and not believe that she is unaware of my status. Please help me get out of this dilemma. -- IN A SPOT IN SOUTH AFRICA

DEAR IN A SPOT: I'll try, but there are no guarantees. Much depends upon the strength of this man's feelings for you. It is very important that you have a frank discussion with him before the relationship goes any further.

The fact that you are HIV-positive may be problematic, but it does not mean you cannot have a family together if you wish in the future. Medications and other medical interventions can help keep the virus from being transmitted to your children, and condoms can protect your partner.

If you are upfront about your status, the chances are better that he will believe you when you tell him his relative was not aware that you have HIV when you were introduced. In a case like this, honesty is the best policy.

DEAR ABBY: I have three grown sons, all educated, married and successful. Their wives are the daughters I never had, and I treasure them and their children. I'm blessed with three perfect grandchildren under the age of 5.

The problem is my sons. Although I raised them carefully with love, they are like teenagers. They constantly denigrate and fight with each other, and measure my time with them on a competitive scale. I no longer want to be involved with their bickering. Their dad, from whom I am separated, is not involved.

This has created a sad cloud in my otherwise sunny life. I need some advice. -- TIED IN KNOTS IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR TIED IN KNOTS: Have you told your sons how uncomfortable their sibling quibbling makes you? If you haven't, you should. And if that doesn't improve the situation, I suggest you see them separately. And if that causes problems, please don't make it YOUR problem.

DEAR ABBY: Over the past 10 years or so, I have noticed a vast increase in people who talk while they are yawning. These "yawn-talkers" are not only rude, but also almost impossible to understand. I wouldn't normally care, except that a lot of people do it where I work.

Is it OK to tell them to stop yawn-talking? Or would I be the rude one in the scenario? -- WIDE AWAKE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WIDE AWAKE: It wouldn't be rude to ask someone to repeat the statement because you were unable to understand what the person was trying to say. And, by the way, polite folks cover their mouths when they yawn to avoid spraying saliva on the person in front of them.

DEAR ABBY: I married a great guy a short while ago. It's the second marriage for both of us. He's good to my kids, my parents, and even gets along with my ex-husband.

"Stan" moved into my home after we married. There's only one major problem I'm having trouble dealing with: He goes through all my things, from my mail to my closet. I have caught him going through my glove compartment, the trunk of my car and anything else he can get his hands on.

He says he has a "right" to do it "because we are married," but I don't look at it that way. His first marriage did not go well. His ex didn't cheat on him, so I don't know where this is coming from.

Abby, I am squeaky clean. I have never given him any reason not to trust me. I believe he's just nosy. Meanwhile, I feel violated.

I have tried talking to him about it, but he just doesn't get it. Please help before I end my new marriage. -- THE NEW MRS. IN DELAWARE

DEAR NEW MRS.: "Great guys" do not rifle through their wives' mail and personal belongings after having been asked not to. You say your husband's first marriage didn't go well, and she didn't cheat on him. Do you know what did cause their divorce?

Your husband's obsession with searching through your belongings is not normal behavior. There may be a chapter in his life you know nothing about.

Because you have asked him to stop, and he is either unwilling or unable to, it may take help from a licensed psychotherapist to get to the bottom of it. Of course, in order for that to happen, your husband would have to be willing. If he isn't, you may indeed have to decide whether you can live with this "quirk" of his or would be better off without him.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher who loves my job. Now that the school year is winding down, may I ask you to pass on this suggestion to all the wonderful parents who send in gifts to their children's teachers?

My family has food allergies. For this reason, unless the lovingly baked goodies have ALL the ingredients listed on the wrapping paper, my family cannot enjoy them. I usually pass on these goodies to other teachers and neighbors. (Please don't think I'm not appreciative; this is purely a medical precaution.)

If I may suggest a gift idea: gift certificates for all kinds of flowers. How often do we receive the joy of flowers? Thank you for passing this along. -- EDUCATOR IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR EDUCATOR: You're welcome. While gift certificates for flowers are a wonderful idea, I'm sure a gift certificate for school supplies would also be welcomed, because many teachers purchase supplies for their classrooms out of their own funds.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my prayer of thanks to those men and women of our armed services who laid down their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have a very hard time expressing my condolences. I panic and avoid sadness at all costs. I'll give you two examples: My boss's husband died. (I worked for him, too.) Because I couldn't talk to her, I avoided her like she had the plague.

Another time, a close friend's son tried to commit suicide and severely injured himself. Instead of hugging my friend's wife and asking how she was, I waved and went on like I was late for something.

I'm ashamed of my behavior. How can I stop myself from acting like this? -- EMBARRASSED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: One way would be to ask yourself WHY you're afraid of confronting someone's sadness. Is it fear that doing so will bring you to tears, and you want to avoid the emotion? Because you are feeling shame, I don't think it is lack of empathy.

Being prepared in advance may help you reach out when a condolence is needed. All you have to say is, "I'm sorry for your loss," or, "I'm sorry about what you're going through." In some cases, the person may want to exchange a few words about it, but in others they won't.

Please stop beating yourself up about this. Many people don't know what to say, or blurt out something inappropriate because they're uncomfortable with their own feelings.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a small bakery. We have a very nice baker here who is an older gentleman. When he gets frustrated, he will shout out, "Son-of-a-rabbit-chaser!" We all laugh and have asked him what that saying actually means. He told us his father used to say it.

Now the entire bakery is trying to guess what this saying's true meaning and origin is. Can you help us out?

My boss seems to think a "rabbit chaser" is referring to a greyhound dog because they chase rabbits. I don't think that makes sense. I'm wondering if maybe it refers to a dirty old man chasing a younger woman, but that doesn't really make sense either. If you can shed any light on this, we would all appreciate it. -- DYING TO KNOW IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR DYING TO KNOW: According to my dictionary of American slang, when someone starts an exclamation with "son-of-a," it is usually to express "anger, annoyance, amazement or disappointment."

The animals that usually chase rabbits are dogs. Your baker may have grown up hearing his father use the expression because back then gentlemen weren't supposed to say "SOB" in front of ladies or impressionable children because it was considered too crude for tender ears. Ahh, those were the good old days.

DEAR ABBY: I am struggling with my friend. We're both on the cross-country team, but I can run farther than she can. When she stops to walk, I continue to run, but when I do, it makes her very upset. She says I should stop running and walk with her. But if I do that, I will lose valuable mileage.

I don't know what to do. Should I wait for her? -- SWIFTY IN NEVADA

DEAR SWIFTY: No, you shouldn't. Each of you should proceed according to your ability. Please discuss this with your coach. I know she (or he) will back me up on this.