DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We live together, and his child from another woman lives with us. I love my boyfriend and his child, but one thing prevents me from imagining us being married: He has his child's mother's name tattooed on his body.

The tattoo bothers me for many reasons, and I'd like him to have it covered up if we ever do marry. He says he doesn't want to get rid of it. When the topic comes up, we argue.

Am I unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of the tattoo? If that woman really is in his past, why does he need a constant reminder of her on his body? -- IN A STINK OVER INK

DEAR IN A STINK: You're asking the wrong person. Only your boyfriend can answer that. He may not want to go to the expense, or to experience the pain of having more artwork done. Or he may not like the idea that you are telling him what to do.

However, if he has been living with you for two years, I doubt it's because he's still carrying a torch for someone else. If you love him and the two of you want to get married, my advice is to accept him warts, artwork and all, because regardless of any romance in his past, YOU have habeas corpus. (That's Latin for "you have the body.")

DEAR ABBY: I consider myself a social person and enjoy talking to friends on the phone. My problem is, when I talk to one of them, she will never let me get off the phone. Sometimes we'll talk for several hours, but eventually I have other obligations and have to go. When I tell her that, she often ignores me and keeps right on talking.

I don't want to be rude, but sometimes I have to say goodbye four and five times before she finally acknowledges that I must end the call. It irritates me. I like talking to her, but I can't go on and on forever. How can I make her let me off the phone without hanging up on her or upsetting her? -- MR. NICE GUY

DEAR MR. NICE GUY: The person you're describing obviously has less going on in her life than you do. She may also be a compulsive talker.

The next time you talk to her, make the conversation face-to-face and tell her that as much as you like her, you don't have the amount of time to spend on the phone that she does. Explain that when you tell her you must end the conversation, if she doesn't stop talking within five minutes, you will have to hang up. And then do it.

Will she like it? No. But the alternative is that she will continue to take advantage of you -- which she has been doing because you have allowed it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years and have two beautiful children. Shortly before our first child was born, my in-laws bought a new camera. They bring it along to every visit and constantly take pictures of all of us. Neither my husband nor I likes having our pictures taken. My in-laws have thousands of pictures of all of us already.

The biggest problem is that they don't have a relationship with their grandchildren because of this. They complain that the kids "don't like them." They feel they should therefore visit more often, but in reality, these visits consist of nonstop photo-snapping, and no quality time is spent with either of the children. How do I make this stop without causing problems? -- OUT OF FOCUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR OUT OF FOCUS: A diplomatic approach would be to suggest to your in-laws that they "shoot" only for a limited time when they visit -- no longer than the first 10 minutes. Explain that you realize the kids are growing and changing quickly, and you understand their desire to record all of it, but the children need a deeper kind of interaction with their grandparents in order to form a positive bond with them. Then suggest some ways they can relate to the little ones after the camera is put away.

If they balk, tell them the reason their grandchildren don't seem to like them is that children need face-to-face and eye contact, and the camera has prevented it from happening. If they're smart, they'll listen.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a man I dated many years ago, "Charles." When we reconnected three years ago, I had a dog, "Frosty." One year into the relationship, Charles asked me to get rid of Frosty because he thinks dogs are unsanitary. I loved Frosty and kept him, but it caused all kinds of problems with my boyfriend.

When Charles and I moved in together three months ago, he insisted I get rid of Frosty and I caved. I miss my little friend so much it hurts. Memories of him are everywhere. I am able to get him back, but is it crazy that I would jeopardize my relationship because I want to keep my dog? -- IN THE DOGHOUSE

DEAR IN THE DOGHOUSE: I don't think it's crazy, and I'm sure my animal-loving readers -- who number in the millions -- would agree with me. People bond with their pets to such an extent that in the event of a natural disaster, some of them refuse to be separated from their companions.

That Charles would insist you get rid of Frosty shows extreme insensitivity for your feelings, in addition to disregard for your beloved pet in whom you had a significant emotional investment. Could Charles be jealous of the affection you have shown Frosty? Not knowing him, I can't guess. But if you are forced to choose between the two of them, you should seriously consider choosing the dog.

DEAR ABBY: Child abuse is epidemic in the United States. It occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural levels, within all religions and at all levels of education. Every year, more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the U.S. Without intervention, about 30 percent of those abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

With the proper skills, all parents can raise happy, healthy children. Treatment is necessary, but our communities also need to do a better job at prevention.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Please ask your readers to learn about programs and activities in their communities that support parents and promote healthy families. -- JOHN E. THORESEN, DIRECTOR, BARBARA SINATRA CHILDREN'S CENTER, RANCHO MIRAGE, CALIF.

DEAR MR. THORESEN: Thank you for your letter. Readers, the first step to curbing child abuse is recognizing it. These are the 10 most common indicators:

1. UNEXPLAINED INJURIES: Visible signs may include burns or bruises in the shape of objects. There may be unconvincing explanations for a child's injuries.

2. CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR: Abused children often appear scared, anxious, depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.

3. RETURNING TO EARLIER BEHAVIOR: Abused children may display behaviors shown when they were younger, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers. For some, loss of basic language or memory problems may occur.

4. FEAR OF GOING HOME: Abused children may express fear or anxiety about leaving school or going places with the abuser.

5. CHANGES IN EATING: The stress, fear and anxiety lead to changes in a child's eating behaviors, which may result in weight gain or weight loss.

6. CHANGES IN SLEEP HABITS: The child may have frequent nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and appear tired or fatigued.

7. CHANGES IN SCHOOL PERFORMANCE OR ATTENDANCE: Children may demonstrate difficulty concentrating in school or experience excessive absences, sometimes because of adults trying to hide the children's injuries from authorities.

8. LACK OF PERSONAL CARE OR HYGIENE: The child may appear unkempt, be consistently dirty and have severe body odor, or lack sufficient clothing for the weather.

9. RISK-TAKING BEHAVIORS: The child may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol, or carrying a weapon.

10. INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR: A sexually abused child may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.

We can all support children and parents to reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect. Be a friend to a parent or child you know. Volunteer your time or donate to programs that support child abuse treatment and prevention as well as those that build healthy families. Trust your instincts. Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to contact authorities.