DEAR ABBY: Child abuse is epidemic in the United States. It occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural levels, within all religions and at all levels of education. Every year, more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the U.S. Without intervention, about 30 percent of those abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

With the proper skills, all parents can raise happy, healthy children. Treatment is necessary, but our communities also need to do a better job at prevention.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Please ask your readers to learn about programs and activities in their communities that support parents and promote healthy families. -- JOHN E. THORESEN, DIRECTOR, BARBARA SINATRA CHILDREN'S CENTER, RANCHO MIRAGE, CALIF.

DEAR MR. THORESEN: Thank you for your letter. Readers, the first step to curbing child abuse is recognizing it. These are the 10 most common indicators:

1. UNEXPLAINED INJURIES: Visible signs may include burns or bruises in the shape of objects. There may be unconvincing explanations for a child's injuries.

2. CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR: Abused children often appear scared, anxious, depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.

3. RETURNING TO EARLIER BEHAVIOR: Abused children may display behaviors shown when they were younger, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers. For some, loss of basic language or memory problems may occur.

4. FEAR OF GOING HOME: Abused children may express fear or anxiety about leaving school or going places with the abuser.

5. CHANGES IN EATING: The stress, fear and anxiety lead to changes in a child's eating behaviors, which may result in weight gain or weight loss.

6. CHANGES IN SLEEP HABITS: The child may have frequent nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and appear tired or fatigued.

7. CHANGES IN SCHOOL PERFORMANCE OR ATTENDANCE: Children may demonstrate difficulty concentrating in school or experience excessive absences, sometimes because of adults trying to hide the children's injuries from authorities.

8. LACK OF PERSONAL CARE OR HYGIENE: The child may appear unkempt, be consistently dirty and have severe body odor, or lack sufficient clothing for the weather.

9. RISK-TAKING BEHAVIORS: The child may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol, or carrying a weapon.

10. INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR: A sexually abused child may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.

We can all support children and parents to reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect. Be a friend to a parent or child you know. Volunteer your time or donate to programs that support child abuse treatment and prevention as well as those that build healthy families. Trust your instincts. Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to contact authorities.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in a pharmacy for 30 years, and every summer it's the same story. People forget their medication and leave it at home.

Why do people not realize that their meds should be one of the FIRST things they pack? Yes, we can call their pharmacist back home to get a transfer, but if the prescription was just filled, their insurance will not go through, or they'll have to wait while we call for a vacation override.

Please, people -- remember your medications, and if you don't plan on spending a while sitting around our pharmacy waiting for us to call your hometown pharmacy, and possibly your insurance company, then don't get angry at us when it takes longer than the 15 minutes you expected.

I love my job. But I'm beginning to dread irresponsible, crabby tourists who know they need their blood pressure meds every day and expect us to drop whatever we're doing to take care of them. -- PHRUSTRATED PHARMACIST IN MONTANA

DEAR PHARMACIST: I sympathize with your "phrustration," so I'm printing your heartfelt letter, hoping it will help you to lower YOUR blood pressure. I don't think the people you describe are irresponsible as much as they may be disorganized.

The way I have solved this problem is to keep multiple copies of a printed list of items I must have when I travel. As I pack, I check them off my list -- and before I close my travel bag, I double-check to make sure nothing has been forgotten. Perhaps others will find this helpful.

DEAR ABBY: What's up with penmanship these days? A few years ago, my mother gave me some old letters written by my grandfather to my grandmother. Some of them are treasures because the written words are not only loving and endearing, but the penmanship is beautiful. The script writings are actually examples of "art" in this modern age.

I work at a bank, Abby, and many of the signatures I see every day are illegible. Is written communication becoming obsolete? With the electronic age and schools going paperless, will penmanship become unnecessary? -- MARY IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR MARY: Years ago, penmanship was routinely taught in the public schools, and students spent nearly an hour a day practicing how to write legibly. Today, I am told that 10 minutes is devoted to teaching students to PRINT. If the emails I receive are any indication, capitalization and punctuation are also being jettisoned. And if the electric grid ever goes down and battery power runs out, we'll have to start over with stone tablets and chisels.

DEAR ABBY: I know it's rude to ask workers how much money they make, but does that also apply to asking a student what his or her grades are? Aside from parents and teachers, I don't think it's anybody's business how I'm doing academically.

In my opinion, asking, "How are your grades?" is as rude as asking, "How much money do you make?" What do you think? -- MATT IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR MATT: I'm with you. How about coming back with, "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering."

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away recently. Flowers and plants were sent to the funeral home. After the funeral mass, the flowers were sent to the cemetery for the gravesite services. Afterward, I was asked to go to the funeral home to pick them up.

When I arrived, I saw my sister-in-law taking the plant her employer had sent into her car. She said it was HER plant. The next day, my other sister-in-law went to my mother's house to retrieve the plant HER company had sent.

Abby, I have never heard of this. I thought that because the flowers and plants had been sent to my mother, it should be up to her to decide whether or not she wants to distribute them. After all, she's the one suffering the greatest loss. What is the proper procedure for plants to be distributed after a funeral? -- CHRISTINE IN MISSOURI

DEAR CHRISTINE: The plants should be shared. Your mother is not the only person who is grieving. Your sisters-in-law are married to the sons of the deceased, so they should have the plants their employers sent to the funeral.

When there are more flowers and plants than the family can enjoy, people often have them delivered to nursing homes or homes for the elderly or disabled, where they can lend a burst of color and good cheer.

P.S. Thank-yous to the senders should be sent by your sisters-in-law for the plants they took.

DEAR ABBY: It seems strange to write to you, but I'd like to share this story about how small acts of kindness can multiply.

On a dark, miserable afternoon, I was out grocery shopping. The woman in line in front of me had two small children and two full carts of groceries. When all her bags were loaded, she began frantically searching in her purse for her car keys. When she couldn't find them, she realized that, in her haste, she had locked them inside her car. I asked if I could drive her home to get a spare key and she agreed.

I helped her into her house with her bags of groceries, then drove them all back to the store for her car. "How can I ever thank you?" she asked. My reply was, "No thanks are needed; just pass it on."

Two weeks later, I was at a party when a couple walked into the living room and the woman excitedly said, "There she is!" It was the woman from the market. She rushed over and proceeded to tell everyone how we met.

Then she said she'd had her chance to "pass it on." I asked what she told the person who had thanked HER, and she said, "I said what you did, 'No thanks are needed -- pass it on!'"

Small kindnesses bring big rewards. If anyone has been the recipient of an act of kindness, remember to pass it on. It's the Golden Rule.

Thanks, Dear Abby -- you "pass on" kindness with each column you write. -- LIVING THE GOLDEN RULE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR LIVING THE GOLDEN RULE: I am a firm believer in passing it on and have long shared that philosophy with friends. However, regardless of how long you preach, the best sermon is a good example.