life

Medications Left at Home Cause Vacation Headaches

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 27th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in a pharmacy for 30 years, and every summer it's the same story. People forget their medication and leave it at home.

Why do people not realize that their meds should be one of the FIRST things they pack? Yes, we can call their pharmacist back home to get a transfer, but if the prescription was just filled, their insurance will not go through, or they'll have to wait while we call for a vacation override.

Please, people -- remember your medications, and if you don't plan on spending a while sitting around our pharmacy waiting for us to call your hometown pharmacy, and possibly your insurance company, then don't get angry at us when it takes longer than the 15 minutes you expected.

I love my job. But I'm beginning to dread irresponsible, crabby tourists who know they need their blood pressure meds every day and expect us to drop whatever we're doing to take care of them. -- PHRUSTRATED PHARMACIST IN MONTANA

DEAR PHARMACIST: I sympathize with your "phrustration," so I'm printing your heartfelt letter, hoping it will help you to lower YOUR blood pressure. I don't think the people you describe are irresponsible as much as they may be disorganized.

The way I have solved this problem is to keep multiple copies of a printed list of items I must have when I travel. As I pack, I check them off my list -- and before I close my travel bag, I double-check to make sure nothing has been forgotten. Perhaps others will find this helpful.

Holidays & CelebrationsHealth & Safety
life

Penmanship Suffers In The Digital Age

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 27th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: What's up with penmanship these days? A few years ago, my mother gave me some old letters written by my grandfather to my grandmother. Some of them are treasures because the written words are not only loving and endearing, but the penmanship is beautiful. The script writings are actually examples of "art" in this modern age.

I work at a bank, Abby, and many of the signatures I see every day are illegible. Is written communication becoming obsolete? With the electronic age and schools going paperless, will penmanship become unnecessary? -- MARY IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR MARY: Years ago, penmanship was routinely taught in the public schools, and students spent nearly an hour a day practicing how to write legibly. Today, I am told that 10 minutes is devoted to teaching students to PRINT. If the emails I receive are any indication, capitalization and punctuation are also being jettisoned. And if the electric grid ever goes down and battery power runs out, we'll have to start over with stone tablets and chisels.

Etiquette & EthicsWork & School
life

Student Objects To Being Quizzed On His Grades

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 27th, 2014 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I know it's rude to ask workers how much money they make, but does that also apply to asking a student what his or her grades are? Aside from parents and teachers, I don't think it's anybody's business how I'm doing academically.

In my opinion, asking, "How are your grades?" is as rude as asking, "How much money do you make?" What do you think? -- MATT IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR MATT: I'm with you. How about coming back with, "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering."

life

Funeral Plants and Flowers Should Be Shared by Mourners

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 26th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away recently. Flowers and plants were sent to the funeral home. After the funeral mass, the flowers were sent to the cemetery for the gravesite services. Afterward, I was asked to go to the funeral home to pick them up.

When I arrived, I saw my sister-in-law taking the plant her employer had sent into her car. She said it was HER plant. The next day, my other sister-in-law went to my mother's house to retrieve the plant HER company had sent.

Abby, I have never heard of this. I thought that because the flowers and plants had been sent to my mother, it should be up to her to decide whether or not she wants to distribute them. After all, she's the one suffering the greatest loss. What is the proper procedure for plants to be distributed after a funeral? -- CHRISTINE IN MISSOURI

DEAR CHRISTINE: The plants should be shared. Your mother is not the only person who is grieving. Your sisters-in-law are married to the sons of the deceased, so they should have the plants their employers sent to the funeral.

When there are more flowers and plants than the family can enjoy, people often have them delivered to nursing homes or homes for the elderly or disabled, where they can lend a burst of color and good cheer.

P.S. Thank-yous to the senders should be sent by your sisters-in-law for the plants they took.

Etiquette & EthicsDeath
life

Small Acts Of Kindness Grow As They Are Passed Along

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 26th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: It seems strange to write to you, but I'd like to share this story about how small acts of kindness can multiply.

On a dark, miserable afternoon, I was out grocery shopping. The woman in line in front of me had two small children and two full carts of groceries. When all her bags were loaded, she began frantically searching in her purse for her car keys. When she couldn't find them, she realized that, in her haste, she had locked them inside her car. I asked if I could drive her home to get a spare key and she agreed.

I helped her into her house with her bags of groceries, then drove them all back to the store for her car. "How can I ever thank you?" she asked. My reply was, "No thanks are needed; just pass it on."

Two weeks later, I was at a party when a couple walked into the living room and the woman excitedly said, "There she is!" It was the woman from the market. She rushed over and proceeded to tell everyone how we met.

Then she said she'd had her chance to "pass it on." I asked what she told the person who had thanked HER, and she said, "I said what you did, 'No thanks are needed -- pass it on!'"

Small kindnesses bring big rewards. If anyone has been the recipient of an act of kindness, remember to pass it on. It's the Golden Rule.

Thanks, Dear Abby -- you "pass on" kindness with each column you write. -- LIVING THE GOLDEN RULE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR LIVING THE GOLDEN RULE: I am a firm believer in passing it on and have long shared that philosophy with friends. However, regardless of how long you preach, the best sermon is a good example.

life

Childhood Abuse Victim Finds Love in Arms of Another Woman

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 25th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in a loving relationship with another woman. My family has been harsh in their remarks to me, saying they would rather I was dead than doing this, or that I should move away if this is the way I am going to live.

I have been married twice. Neither marriage worked out. During my childhood, I was molested by a family member. Since then, I have been scared of men and don't want to be around them. I have had crushes on women in the past, but didn't tell my family because I'm a 30-year-old adult and I felt it was none of their business.

I keep asking myself if my attraction to my lover was a choice, but I don't remember "choosing" this. All I remember is falling for her and not wanting to look back. Should I end this relationship and live alone forever? I never want to be with another man as long as I live. -- ACHING IN AMARILLO

DEAR ACHING: Because your family is so unaccepting of your sexual orientation, it would be interesting to know how they view your molester. Did you tell anyone what happened, and did you receive counseling about it? If the answer is you didn't, then PLEASE consider getting some now to help you deal with any residual issues because you appear to have a few -- like your fear of and aversion to all men.

What your family said was cruel and uncalled-for. It's apparent they know nothing about homosexuality. There is a chapter of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) about two hours away from your community, located in Lubbock. You can find it online at pflaglubbock.org. It can provide information to help you build bridges of understanding with your family.

Assuming the feelings you have for this woman are reciprocated, the two of you might be happier moving to a community that is more welcoming. Texas is a big, diverse state and Dallas, Houston or Austin might be a better fit for you.

Mental HealthMarriage & DivorceAbuseFamily & ParentingSex & GenderLove & Dating
life

Sex Appeal Is 13-Year-Old Girl's Dearest Desire

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 25th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl who has been told many times that I'm very mature for my age. Unfortunately, I'm TOO mature. What I want most in the world is sex appeal. I long for the perfect sex-crazed boyfriend. What can I do about this craving? -- BEYOND MY YEARS IN KENTUCKY

DEAR BEYOND: The first thing you should do about this "craving" is learn all you can about birth control and self-control, because the "perfect sex-crazed boyfriend" could get you -- and himself -- into a world of trouble. At 13, you should be focused on sports and getting into and out of high school with a diploma.

Whoever told you you are mature for your age must have meant physically, because when a girl's No. 1 desire in the world is sex appeal and a sex-crazed boyfriend, it is not a sign of EMOTIONAL maturity.

Love & DatingSex & GenderTeens
life

Friend Covets Gift That Goes Unused

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 25th, 2014 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Last year I made a beautiful welcome wreath for my friend to hang on her front door. After all this time, it's still sitting in a box in her basement. If she doesn't like it, I would like to ask for it back, so I can use and enjoy it. Abby, can I do this? What could I say? -- LORRIE IN FLORIDA

DEAR LORRIE: It has always been my belief that once a gift has been given, it's inappropriate to ask for it back. However, if you feel comfortable enough with your friend to do so, tell her exactly what you told me: That since she has never used the wreath, you would like to have it for your own front door.

Friends & NeighborsEtiquette & Ethics

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