DEAR ABBY: I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half and I love him dearly. However, I often find myself drawn to other guys who I know are nothing but trouble. It never goes further than simple flirting, but I still feel guilty for doing it when I'm in a relationship. How do I keep myself from temptation? -- HARD TO RESIST

DEAR HARD TO RESIST: Temptation to do what? To involve yourself with a man who is nothing but trouble? A way to discourage that would be to ask yourself how you would feel if you lost your boyfriend. That would be a high price to pay for acting immaturely.

However, if you're asking how to overcome the IMPULSE, my advice is to have an honest conversation with yourself about why you feel the need. Most of the women (and men) who act this way are constantly trying to prove to themselves that they are attractive. If this could be you, then start working on your self-esteem, because if you don't, I predict you'll ruin a good relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my 50s and overweight. I work hard, eat three meals a day and am -- more or less -- healthy except for sore feet after work. I'm aware of the medical warnings. Who isn't? But I have decided to accept myself as I am, relax and be happy.

For years I have been hard on myself for not being slim. This is me in my 50s. I don't expect myself to be slim like I was in my 20s. Now I can smile, breathe easier, have a good time, and finally buy the new clothes I have put off buying until I was thinner. My new spirit is weightless and my new attitude has made my life more meaningful. Any thoughts? -- LIVING FREE AT LAST

DEAR LIVING FREE: Only this, that we all have choices to make about our health, what is important to us and how we want to live our lives. You have made yours, and at this point it appears to have been the right one for you. May it ever be thus.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a paralyzing fear of driving over bridges. It interferes with our life together. He is otherwise healthy, but will not see a therapist for this problem.

We have been married for 27 years. I am 63 and he is 67. I am very sad that our life is so limited. Any advice? -- LANDLOCKED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LANDLOCKED: It would be interesting to know how your husband developed this phobia. But because he refuses to do anything about it and you feel restricted, consider traveling with another companion.

DEAR READERS: It's April Fools' Day, the one day I can share some of the more unique letters that come my way -- clearly, more than a few of which were written in an attempt to have some fun with me. Enjoy!

DEAR ABBY: Many times when I would wake up in the morning, I'd find toothpaste already on my toothbrush, courtesy of my foreign-born girlfriend, "Inger." Because I am chivalrous, I figured I would return the favor. So at night before going to bed or in the morning, I'd tiptoe to the bathroom and put toothpaste on her toothbrush.

Well, the other day Inger told me, "DON'T put toothpaste on my toothbrush!" I was flabbergasted. And if that's not enough, she no longer preps my toothbrush, either.

I know, I know -- I should have asked a simple "Why?" but I wasn't in the mood for drama. Now it's eating at me and I just don't get it. -- CONFUSED IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR CONFUSED: I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here it is: Inger appears to be giving you the brush-off.

DEAR ABBY: I have this really hot, sexy latex dress in lilac. I can't decide which color 6-inch stilettos to wear with it, black or white. I don't want to look trashy. -- FASHIONISTA IN THE EAST

DEAR FASHIONISTA: With latex in April, wear flats and a LONG overcoat.

DEAR ABBY: I married a wonderful man last week. It was the wedding of my dreams except for one thing: My husband's sister brought six birds with her and insisted it was perfectly acceptable to keep them in the reception area. My new in-laws all said I was "unreasonable" for not allowing the caged birds in the reception area.

I was strong and stood my ground. After a year of preparation, I didn't want our nuptials spoiled by uninvited birds. Has anyone ever written to you about uninvited birds being brought to a wedding? -- RUFFLED FEATHERS IN RENO

DEAR RUFFLED: The only ones I can recall were a few cuckoos, but I'm not sure they were of the avian variety.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear old friend I talk with on the phone several times a day. She is the talkative type and sometimes keeps me on the phone for half an hour at a time. The problem is I have an overactive bladder and sometimes must rush to the bathroom. It's very embarrassing. Is there a nice way to tell her I need to get off the phone for a few minutes without being rude or too specific? -- LEAKING IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR LEAKING: Yes. Tell her to hang on, you'll be back in a flush.

DEAR ABBY: All the letters you have printed about pennies brought back the memories of what happened in our family when I was very small. My mother won a $10 gold piece for her sponge cake, but our family dog swallowed the coin.

You are probably wondering if we got the coin back. No, we didn't. Turned out the coin was counterfeit, and the dog couldn't "pass it." -- GOTCHA! IN AMHERST, OHIO

DEAR GOTCHA!: Now that's a shaggy dog story if I ever heard one. (And for a moment, I swallowed it.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years and have two children. My husband has what I can only describe as an Internet addiction. He's literally online from the time I go to bed until I wake up to take our kids to school. I checked and discovered many profiles he has made up on different dating sites.

When I confronted him, he told me he has no interest in having an affair. He said he has been depressed for some time, and it's his way of escaping reality. I recommended he talk to a therapist, but he keeps trying to justify his behavior by telling me I have no reason to feel hurt because it's all "make-believe."

Our relationship has taken a serious dive since I found out. I no longer trust him alone on the computer. I am also no longer attracted to him, and I no longer feel attractive. I don't know what I can do to be a supportive partner if he won't admit he has a problem. Please help me. I'm at a total loss. -- SECOND TO A SCREEN NAME

DEAR SECOND: May I be frank? First on your agenda should be to take care of yourself and your own emerging depression. If that means talking to a professional, then go for it.

You have every right to be angry about what your husband has been doing. It isn't harmless, and it isn't effective therapy for his depression. Much as you might wish to, you can't fix his problem -- which is trying to escape from reality. Only he can do that. Let's hope he'll find the courage to face what he's trying to escape from while your marriage is still salvageable.

DEAR ABBY: I am not suicidal, but I do think about death, in the sense of what happens when one dies. I believe in the heaven-and-hell theory. Although I'm not sure I want to go to heaven, I AM sure I don't want to go to hell.

My reason for not wanting to go to heaven is because of the relatives who have gone before me. I come from a very abusive family but, like so many, most of them have been able to do what I call the "last-minute redemption." With that in mind, I do not want to spend all of eternity with the same people I could not wait to have exit this Earth.

I am also not a big believer in this forgiveness thing -- forgiving adults who do these things to children and expect them to forget about it. I sure haven't, and I never will!

Do you, or the clergy, think it's possible for God to just let some of us sleep through eternity without meeting up with family on "the other side"? -- OWENSBORO, KY., READER

DEAR READER: Because I am more involved with what's going on in this life rather than the next, I took your question to Rev. Canon Mark Stanger of Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. He suggests that you stop thinking about heaven as a "place" or that you need a scorecard to get there. He also said: "A merciful God will make heaven what you need -- and in your case, heaven may be liberation from these troubled people."