DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, I stopped seeing a man I'll call "Vince." Since then he has been stalking me. He sends me texts with photos he took of us while we were dating, but distorts them to make me look like I'm stabbing him in the heart. He sends videos with my head on a dancing Barbie doll. My neighbors tell me they see him drive past my house. (He lives across town.) I refuse to talk to him now because he scares me.

Vince has now begun making moves on my cousin "Nancy." She says their relationship isn't romantic, but others have told me they have seen them cuddle at restaurants and parks. He still continues to send me scary pictures and emails.

How can I tell Nancy about this without her thinking it's jealous retaliation against their new relationship? I honestly believe he is getting close to her only to spite me and keep an emotional hold on me. His relationship with her has made me afraid to tell her about my personal life or hang out with her for fear that he'll show up with her. -- CONFUSED IN OREGON

DEAR CONFUSED: I don't blame you for feeling intimidated, which is what your stalker is trying to accomplish. You can put an end to it by having your neighbors document his "drive-bys" and turning the pictures, videos and any other communications Vince has sent you over to the police. If he sent them via U.S. mail, the postmarks on the envelopes (and fingerprints) will prove what he has been up to. It may take a restraining order to put an end to this.

As to his relationship with your cousin, I agree that if she has feelings for him, she'll be reluctant to believe anything you tell her isn't sour grapes. However, if you show her the texts he's sending you -- I presume they're time-stamped -- she may believe you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Dawn" for more than a year. She has an amazing 7-year-old daughter, "Charise," who started calling me Dad about six months after her mother and I began dating. I love being a "dad" -- going to the park, on trips, helping out at school and telling bedtime stories.

The problem is, I don't love Dawn. We don't get along well anymore. My mother tells me I should find someone else and have kids of my own, but Charise "feels" like my kid. I can't imagine losing her.

One friend suggested I marry Dawn so I can stay in her daughter's life, but I want to be in love with the woman I marry. Am I wrong for not wanting to lose a child I consider my daughter, but not wanting to marry someone I don't love? -- SPINNING MY WHEELS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SPINNING: Charise may "feel" like your child, but she ISN'T. And even though she may call you "Dad," you AREN'T. Your romance with her mother is already on the downhill slide, so the kindest thing you could do for all concerned is end the relationship. But before you do, it is important that you make clear to Charise that it has nothing to do with her or your feelings for her.

Your mother is right. You need to settle down with someone you can love. To follow your friend's suggestion would be a huge mistake.

DEAR ABBY: I thought I was a healthy 40-year-old until I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. My doctor began treating it as a stand-alone condition, without considering that high blood pressure is a major risk factor for kidney disease.

At first, I wasn't even tested for kidney disease. But eventually, he gave me a urine test, and it was discovered that I had protein in my urine -- one of the earliest signs of kidney damage. Apparently, my high blood pressure had damaged my kidneys.

Healthy kidneys filter out wastes and toxins, but my kidneys' ability to do so began to decrease at an alarming rate. I continued to manage my blood pressure with medication and decided to make a few lifestyle changes, as well, that helped me avoid the progression of kidney disease to kidney failure.

I limited my salt intake, started eating more fruits, vegetables and whole grains, decreased the amount of meat I was eating and began swimming every day. I began to feel better, and when I went to the doctor, it turned out my kidney function had stabilized.

Please tell your readers that if they have high blood pressure they should be proactive and ask their doctor to check their kidneys. Early detection and lifestyle change can make a major impact on your health, as I have learned. -- DUANE SUNWOLD, SPOKANE, WASH.

DEAR DUANE: It is generous of you to share your medical history in an effort to caution my readers. The National Kidney Foundation urges everyone to learn about these vital organs and whether they might be at risk.

The three major risk factors for kidney disease are: high blood pressure, diabetes and a family history of kidney failure. People who have these risk factors should ask their doctor to check their kidney function with a simple blood and urine test.

Readers, March is National Kidney Month, and March 13 is World Kidney Day. If you are at risk, schedule an appointment with your doctor. For anyone who needs more information, the National Kidney Foundation's website is kidney.org.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a member of the clergy who enjoys studying for my ministry and doctoral work at a local coffee shop. Three men who go there every day have found out that I'm a minister, and they each want to talk with me while I'm there. Although all three are members of the same religion, none of them is affiliated with a church.

I have invited them to visit my worship services, as well as call the office and set up an appointment with me. I have also tried to diplomatically explain that I go to the coffee shop to study. One of them ignores it, another appears hurt and the third one gets offended. When they're not around, I am productive. When they show up, they want me to be their chaplain.

Because of where I live, finding another coffee shop is not a viable option. How can I set a boundary with them and still do my studying there? Thank you. -- REVEREND KEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR REVEREND: Do it the same way doctors or lawyers do with people who approach them for "free" advice outside the office. As soon as you are approached, say firmly, "I'm studying right now. If you want to talk, please call my office and I'll schedule an appointment with you. Right now I'm busy." And then refuse to be intimidated by their reaction. Unless you draw the line, they'll suck you dry.

DEAR ABBY: My son is almost 3. He is the light of my life. I love him more than I can describe, but sometimes I can't handle his energy. We carefully monitor how much sugar he eats and we are sure his diet is not what's causing the problem. Mostly I think he is just a rowdy little boy.

The problem is, we can't take him out without dreading that he will act up. His refusal to listen to our requests -- or listen to us when we speak to him at all -- has put a strain on our marriage and we both feel like "failure" parents.

What are some things we can do to help our son channel his energy in a positive way, while getting some relief from his nonstop go-go attitude? -- NEEDS RELIEF IN KANSAS

DEAR NEEDS RELIEF: This may be a phase your son is going through; however, it would be a good idea to discuss this with his pediatrician to make sure. While little children can be human "Energizer bunnies," I am concerned that you say the boy doesn't listen when you talk to him. Tell the doctor and ask if a hearing check is in order.

As to your son's acting up when you take him out -- he should be told the rules and the penalties for not following them before you leave the house. If he doesn't obey the rules, it is important that you follow through, whether that means he will be taken outside for a talk or taken home. Remember, consistency is the key. That's the way children learn.

If you are older parents and not active, consider enrolling the boy in sports activities, such as swimming or kiddie gym. I am told there are even karate classes for children your son's age.

I read a book recently that could be helpful to you and your spouse. The title is "Raising Children That Other People Like to Be Around" by Richard Greenberg. It was written last year (2013) and published by New Generation Publishing. The price is $14, and the advice the author offers is worth every penny.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I fell in love, but never told the man how I felt. We spent a lot of time together back then, but I was always afraid to confess my feelings because we were both married to other people. Time went by and we went our separate ways, but I have thought about him many times. A month ago I looked him up on Facebook, and we have reconnected.

Should I tell him how I feel about him? I'm afraid he may not feel the same way. My question is, should you always tell people how you feel, even if it may hurt someone else -- like his wife and my husband? -- IN A QUANDARY IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR IN A QUANDARY: My answer is NO. If this man is attracted to you or might like a fling, it could spark an affair in which two innocent people would be devastated. And if the feelings AREN'T mutual, you will look like a home-wrecking fool, so keep it to yourself and back off.

DEAR ABBY: My husband thinks it is fine to use his cellphone while he is in the bathroom, no matter who is on the other end. The noises must be obvious to anyone he's talking to because he makes no effort to be quiet about his "business," including flushing the toilet.

He won't listen to me about how unacceptable this is. When I mention anything about it, he accuses me of being "sensitive" and "uptight." Maybe he'll listen to you and any of your readers who care to respond. Any comments? -- CRINGING IN DALLAS

DEAR CRINGING: Clearly your husband enjoys what he's doing. If the people he's talking to don't mind -- and apparently they don't or they'd say, "I'll talk to ya later!" -- you should butt out.