DEAR ABBY: Have you any advice for how a person can handle mornings better? No matter what I do, I start off every work day irritated and grumpy.

I love the mornings, and even get up early so I can enjoy sitting with my coffee and relax before heading out the door. But as soon as I get out into traffic, I'm immediately in a bad mood. Then, sitting down at work and facing all the emails that come in from my global associates -- usually about some emergency that is plopped in my lap -- puts me in more of a foul mood.

I actually like my job, despite what it sounds like. I just hate starting off every day like this. Telecommuting is not an option for me. What can I do? -- MS. GRUMP IN DENVER

DEAR MS. GRUMP: OK, so you're fine until you leave the house. Many people who find morning rush hour to be nerve-wracking find it calming to listen to audio books or music during their commute. If that doesn't help you, and it is feasible, consider using another form of transportation that's less stressful.

And when you arrive at work, take a little time to decompress before turning on your computer, whether it is with meditation or deep-breathing exercises for the first 10 or 15 minutes. Both can do wonders for a person's outlook.

DEAR ABBY: A cute little girl lives up the street from my husband and me and attends the same church we do. A few years ago we taught her in a Sunday school class. At the time, she developed a crush on my husband. We both laughed about it then and thought it was sweet.

Fast-forward three years, and it's not so sweet anymore. It's downright awkward. She runs up to my husband multiple times while we're at church, while ignoring me. Last Sunday, she turned to me as she did it and announced, "He's mine!" I stood there thinking, "Uh, no -- he's mine."

I know this jealous reaction may seem silly and I'm trying hard not to feel this way, but it felt like I was fighting over my husband with an 8-year-old. He is aware of her crush and how I feel about it, but he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Her mother knows about the crush, and we shared a laugh early on.

What can I do? Would speaking to the girl's mother help? What should I say? Or would it make things more awkward? -- NO LONGER AMUSED IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR NO LONGER AMUSED: The cute little neighbor girl is no longer 5. Three years is a long time for a child to hang onto a crush. Because her behavior bothers you, tell her mother you find it excessive at this point and ask her to tell her daughter she's getting too old to act that way. It's the truth, and your husband should back you up.

DEAR ABBY: I thought I'd share my own New Year's resolution with you. For the past 25 years I have made the following resolution: Each day I will ask myself, "What is the kindest, most loving thing I can say or do at this particular moment?" I invite your readers to consider this. -- WAYNE IN PUYALLUP, WASH.

DEAR WAYNE: I consider it a refreshingly positive way to start a day, and I'm sure others will agree and add it to their list of New Year's resolutions. Thank you for sharing it.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: A word to the wise: If you plan to toast the New Year tonight, please appoint a designated driver. And on this night especially, designated drivers should remember to drive defensively. To one and all, a happy, healthy New Year! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 23-year-old woman in a fantastic relationship with a man two years older. I could fill volumes with all the things I love about him. My problem is I make more money than he does. He earns a good living and is a hard worker, but he constantly says things like, "You're going to leave me for someone who makes more money than I do," or, "Your parents don't think I'm good enough for you because I didn't go to college."

Abby, my parents don't care about that. They adore him because they see how happy he makes me. I don't care that I earn more. The way I look at it, eventually when we're married, our finances will be combined.

I have tried telling him this and convincing him that I love him for all his qualities, but he doesn't believe me. Is there anything else I can do? -- HEAD OVER HEELS IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR HEAD OVER HEELS: The problem isn't that you make more money than your boyfriend does; it's that he doesn't have enough self-confidence to believe that someone could love him just for himself. Some men feel that in order for them to affirm their masculinity, they have to bring in the bigger paycheck.

You might point out that when he says those things, it hurts your feelings because it implies that all you care about is money, you have poor values and are for sale to the highest bidder. But until he is able to recognize all that he has to offer, there's nothing more you can do.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are starting to hate our older daughter. After dropping out of college, she moved home to "save some money." Since then, she has lived as she pleases. She isn't saving money and is contributing nothing toward her support.

We have given her a deadline to move out and will hold to it. But her slovenly ways, sullen attitude and disregard for rules have created such a toxic atmosphere we're afraid our relationship is forever changed. Abby, this is not the daughter we raised! What do we do? -- SAD DAD OUT WEST

DEAR SAD DAD: Your letter raises more questions than I can answer. Why did your daughter drop out of college? Does she have a job? Where is her money going if she's not saving it or contributing to the household? Does she have a drug problem? Emotional problems?

If this isn't the girl you raised, there has to be a reason for it. Rather than hating her for her behavior, what you should be doing is finding out what's causing it.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited with four close friends to a "goodbye" tea at the request of a dying friend. Her four children were hostesses and had issued the phone call invitation the day before.

My friend is still alive. Is it necessary and proper to write a thank-you, and to whom? -- BEWILDERED IN PHOENIX

DEAR BEWILDERED: Write a short thank-you note to the person who called you. If your friend is still well enough to understand it, write another one to her, expressing that you appreciated being able to spend the time with her and that you were honored to have been invited. That's what I'd do.

DEAR ABBY: For 17 years I have been using the same hairstylist, "Marietta," because she does great cuts and color. She's married to my cousin "Gil," but not for long. They're divorcing.

Gil's mother suggested I should find a different stylist, but when I did, I had horrible results. I returned to Marietta and it took her several appointments to correct my color.

Some family members are now furious with me for getting my hair done by someone who is soon to be a relative's ex. I look at it as a business. I like what Marietta does for me. We never discuss the divorce. Family is now demanding an apology, and I don't think I owe one. I haven't been close to any of these people in years.

Must I say I'm sorry to distant family and discontinue Marietta's services? Or should I say nothing and continue my professional relationship with her? My roots are beginning to show again, so please answer quickly. -- SNIPPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SNIPPED: Tell Gil's mother to stay out of your hair. You tried leaving Marietta; it was a disaster -- and you plan on using her until the day you curl up and dye.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three grown children. I have a good marriage, a successful career and a close relationship with my two younger children.

My problem involves my oldest daughter. She has been emotionally unstable and verbally abusive to me since her 20s. I have reached my limit of patience with her. We had a terrible fight three weeks ago, and she hasn't spoken to me since.

Abby, these have been the most peaceful weeks I have had in a long time. Am I a terrible mother? Is there such a thing as separating from a child? I am tired of always being the peacemaker with no effort on her part. What do you suggest? -- PEACEMAKER IN KENTUCKY

DEAR PEACEMAKER: Refusing to be abused by an adult child does not make you a terrible parent. I don't know what caused the fight between you and your daughter. If you caused it, then you owe it to both of you to offer an apology. If she caused it, then put your white flag away and enjoy the respite because sooner or later she'll be back. (Probably when she needs something.) Only she can fix what's wrong with her, but you can reduce your level of stress if you keep your distance.

DEAR ABBY: I was involved in a fatal car accident in 2012. Two of my best friends died. There is a void in my heart. They were 15 and 18. I feel so much pain over the loss of my friends, and it is never going to end or hurt less. Their families hate me, which is to be expected.

I am in prison and feel so depressed. Time here seems to barely move. How do I deal with this pain and my sentence? -- IN JAIL AND HURTING

DEAR HURTING: If possible, use your time in prison to complete your education. If there are classes, take them. If there is a library, use it. You can make the walls around you disappear if you lose yourself in the pages of a book. Try it, and you will see that I'm right.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws double dip everything. During a holiday get-together, a family member stood eating out of a pot. Now my M-I-L informs me her daughter allows her dog to eat off the plates, but "she uses a dishwasher" so I shouldn't worry about germs.

How do I handle this? I can't eat there again. -- GROSSED OUT IN GROSSE POINT

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Eat before you go, and go as infrequently as possible.