DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and come from a devout Roman Catholic family. My parents have taken my brother and me to church every Sunday without fail my entire life. We pray before meals, before school, at bedtime and at other times every day. My room is filled with religious objects. As far as I know, everyone else in my extended family is equally fervent.

My problem is, I have never felt very religious. Since I was 10 I have challenged the teachings of the church and, as I mature into adulthood, I'm beginning to identify as agnostic. When I told my parents, at first they were angry and disappointed. Then they told me I was "just going through a phase." I know this is more than a phase. It's a personal belief of mine they have been trying to bury my entire life.

I can't continue letting them ignore the real me. The stress of constantly having to lie to my parents about my faith is tearing me apart to the point that it interferes with my schoolwork and social life. How can I convince them that this isn't a phase, and that I'm not the Catholic girl they want me to be? If they continue to refuse to acknowledge my religious beliefs, who can I turn to for support? -- AGNOSTIC IN STOCKTON, CALIF.

DEAR AGNOSTIC: Your parents should not have minimized your feelings by saying they are only a phase because it was dismissive. That said, you must not allow their devout faith -- and your lack of it -- to become a contest of wills or a basis for argument.

This is an important time in your life with your parents as you enter adulthood. Thank them for the great foundation they have given you. Tell them you hope they will continue to love you as you explore what your beliefs are on this spiritual journey -- because it is a journey.

The opposite of faith is not doubt; it is certainty.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Molly" and I have been good friends for two years. But this year at school she has gotten new friends, and our relationship is slowly fading away. I'm not sure what to do. Should I wait and see what happens later on down the road or talk to her about it? Please help me. -- LEFT OUT IN CEDAR RAPIDS

DEAR LEFT OUT: What you're experiencing is painful, but it is also a part of life. The fact is, friendships don't always stay the same or last forever.

Your idea of talking to Molly about this is a good one because you won't be left wondering what happened or blame yourself. But you should also explore ways of making new friends. If there are after-school clubs, special interest groups or other activities you can join, they will give you the chance to meet new people. By staying busy, you won't miss Molly so much, and may even form more long-lasting friendships.

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married next year. I am very excited to be marrying my fiance, a kind and caring man. But I am not at all excited to go dress shopping. What should I do? -- NO-FRILLS GIRL IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR NO-FRILLS GIRL: No law says you must go dress shopping for your wedding if you don't want to. Tailor your wedding to your own tastes, and make it simple and casual. It's your day, so do what feels right for you.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter, "Erica," is planning to marry her 24-year-old boyfriend. I use the term "boyfriend" loosely because their relationship consists entirely of texting, talking on the phone and the Internet. There has been no dating or getting to know each other in person. Erica is intent on marrying this man even though he has lied to her several times in addition to having lied to us. She is planning to attend a four-year college.

I'm not sure how to handle this. She hid the relationship from us for more than six months. I realize Erica needs to make her own mistakes, but I'm not sure how to make her understand my very real concern about this.

I have raised other children who went through various phases of teenage rebellion, but we were able to reach a general compromise on all types of behavior. However, she is unwilling to discuss the possibility of waiting. Any advice would be appreciated. -- NEEDS HELP IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEEDS HELP: If Erica were my daughter, I'd suggest that because this relationship is so serious it's time you both paid a visit to her intended. Assuming her father is in the picture, he should be there, too. The subject of who will be paying for college should be discussed, and whether Erica will be able to continue her education if she should become pregnant. It may give her a glimpse of exactly what she's letting herself in for before the wedding.

Of course the three of you will want to meet as many of his family and friends as possible. Because Erica won't listen to reason, perhaps seeing will bring her back down to earth. This will also give you (all) a chance to find out what else her "boyfriend" may have been lying about, including his age.

DEAR ABBY: What do I do about my husband's cruelty to our cat? My children love "Miss Kitty," but their dad kicks her and terrorizes the poor little thing to the point where I don't think I can protect her any longer, especially when I'm not home.

I have told the kids that Dad is wrong and not to be like him, but I'm afraid eventually they may think it's OK to mistreat animals. What should I do? -- CALIFORNIA ANIMAL LOVER

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Find Miss Kitty a good home ASAP! Your husband appears to have sociopathic tendencies. Does he exhibit them in any other ways? A man who mistreats animals might also abuse children if they should get in his way or he is in a bad mood.

Of course, your children will be upset when you give their beloved pet away. Explain that it had to be done because she wasn't safe around their father.

DEAR ABBY: My sister informed me today that her children have registered at Toys R Us, and has instructed me to purchase only the toys on their registry for Christmas! Apparently, this is the new way to shop.

Abby, I have never told anyone what to buy my kids, and I'm appalled by this new idea of a Christmas registry. I try very hard to buy great Christmas gifts that my loved ones will enjoy. Am I wrong to think this is rude? -- APPALLED SHOPPER

DEAR APPALLED: I agree your sister's request is presumptuous. But I suppose a Christmas registry is a natural progression from wedding and baby registries. There wouldn't be a Toys R Us registry if it wasn't a successful sales tool for people who don't like to shop. Because you are not one of them, and Christmas shopping brings you pleasure, I suggest you do as you wish.

P.S. Let's see how Sissy responds when you let her know you have adopted her idea and will register at Tiffany's on your next birthday.

DEAR ABBY: As the education director of the East Bay Bicycle Coalition, I work hard to encourage safe and courteous cycling for everyday transportation in Northern California. There are a number of points I would like to address to "Caring Reader, Sacramento, Calif." (Sept. 13).

"Caring" described seeing bicyclists run stop signs, not wear protective gear, texting/talking on cellphones, and suggested a greater enforcement of the law. Rolling through stop signs is, indeed, just as illegal as it is while driving a vehicle, except in Idaho where cyclists may treat stop signs as yields. I encourage all cyclists and drivers to come to a complete stop at signs and signals, even when turning right, and especially when pedestrians are present.

Talking or texting on a cellphone while biking isn't currently illegal in the state of California. I feel that using cellphones while biking is an unsafe practice, and I encourage cyclists (or drivers) to simply pull over before making or taking a call.

Helmets are required gear only for bicyclists under the age of 18 in California. As an adult, I choose to wear one when I'm biking. However, it is not illegal for an adult to bike without a helmet.

You said in your response that people who cycle at night should avoid wearing dark clothes to increase their visibility, but clothes color alone has been shown to have little or no effect on visibility in dark conditions. During low-light times of day like dawn or dusk, wearing bright or fluorescent clothes is a good strategy, but at night bicyclists should rely on lights and reflectors to be seen.

The law in California stipulates that bicyclists must have a white headlight, a red rear reflector and yellow or white reflectors on their wheels or spokes as well as on their pedals, shoes or ankles. However, I also recommend adding to these required items: a red rear light, and additional lights and reflectors at the front, rear and sides of the bike, or on one's clothing or helmet. Highlighting one's silhouette with lights and reflectors, and applying them to moving parts of one's bike or body, will increase visibility substantially after dark.

Abby, thanks for your attention to these issues. -- ROBERT PRINZ, OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR MR. PRINZ: You're welcome. And thank you for kindly sharing your expertise with my readers.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my 40-year-old stepson, "Rod," gave his father a beautiful robe for Christmas. The problem is, we had given the robe to Rod for Christmas several years ago. I didn't say anything at the time, but, of course, I recognized it because I was the one who had bought it for him.

Should I have said anything? Or was I right to have played dumb (which is what I did)?

Rod has "saved" other presents we have given him and regifted them to us years later. This man has a high-paying job and isn't hurting for money. I think what he's doing is insulting. I have suggested not exchanging gifts, but he ignores me. What can I do about this in the future? -- "RECYCLEE" IN THE SOUTH

DEAR "RECYCLEE": Rod may have forgotten that he got the robe from you. As I see it, you have two choices. You can be offended, or you can turn it into a joke. For this Christmas, give him the robe back.