DEAR ABBY: I was laid off from work, but my husband, "Keith," works full-time in a factory. We live with his parents. By the time Keith gets home from work and gets cleaned up, it's time to eat dinner. Immediately afterward, we always follow the same routine: We go in our bedroom and he goes on the computer to play video games, while I sit and watch TV and play on my phone.

We love each other and rarely disagree about things, but this isn't fun for me. I have told Keith I feel ignored and I'd love to do something with him. He says because our town is smallish, there's not a lot to do that doesn't cost money.

Keith is into the video games, so much so that when we first met, he'd sit in his bedroom and play for hours on end. We're planning a vacation in the next month or so, so it's not like we do nothing at all. But I don't know how to improve our situation. -- CALLING FOR HELP IN KOKOMO, IND.

DEAR CALLING FOR HELP: After a hard day's work, your husband may just want to sit down and relax. But that doesn't mean you couldn't schedule some activity together on a weekend -- hiking, skating, kayaking, going to an art show or seeing what's scheduled at the convention center. You could also make a date with other young married couples, or occasionally schedule a girls' night out with some of your female friends.

I agree that it's important for you and your husband not to get into a rut. That's why you need to budget so you can get out and have some fun together a few times a month.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I met "Holly," the love of my life. We married and had a child. Soon after our son's birth, I found out Holly had a boyfriend on the side. Our divorce was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Because of her instability, I was granted custody of our son.

Since the divorce I have developed an attraction to men. Is this normal after a nasty divorce? I never thought of myself as gay or bi until about a year afterward. I know that I never again want to experience the pain I went through.

I have been celibate now for almost four years, and I'm trying my best to set a good example for my son. I miss having someone to hold and share life with, but in the area where I live, having a gay relationship would cause me to lose my son. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. -- IS THIS NORMAL? IN ARIZONA

DEAR NORMAL: It is important that you determine exactly who you are, whether it is a walking-wounded heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. A licensed psychotherapist can help you with this, and do it in confidence.

Regardless of your sexual orientation, you should realize that when breakups happen between couples -- and that includes male/male, female/female and heterosexual -- there is usually heartbreak involved. However, without risk there can be no reward, and celibacy is not the answer. If it turns out that you are, indeed, gay, then you should consider relocating to a more gay-friendly area.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 20s and recently became engaged to my boyfriend of more than a year. He is in his early 30s. His parents live on the other side of the country, and we see them only twice a year. We plan on visiting them for the holidays, and some friends of theirs will be throwing us a bridal shower.

I was married before. I was 18 and it lasted three years. I was devastated when it ended. Am I obligated to tell them about my previous marriage? My fiance knows, of course.

This is not something I like to discuss. I was raised in a very religious household where divorce is looked down upon. My fiance's parents are not particularly religious, however. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: While this may not be something you like to discuss, disclose it to your fiance's parents before the wedding. This trip would be a good time to do it, so you can answer any questions that might arise.

Tell them that it's not something you usually talk about, but you and their son didn't want them to think you are hiding anything. If the subject comes up in the future, tell them that it is in the past and you do not wish to discuss it further.

DEAR ABBY: As a teacher, I open my doors every year to at least one student who has low self-esteem. I spend the school year searching for ways to show that child he or she has value. I feel there is no more important lesson for me to teach.

These children's parents don't mean for this to happen. They want their children to be "perfect." The children, though, know they aren't perfect and feel that who they are isn't enough.

Parents, does this sound familiar? If so, then love your children as you did when they first learned to walk. Love them unconditionally when they fail and encourage them to try again. When they make a mistake, celebrate the strength it took to try. When they mess up, let them know you love them even when they aren't at their best.

Remember, feelings stay with children forever. When things get hard, allow your children to fail and to fix it themselves. Celebrate who your children are. Unconditional love is the greatest gift parents can give their children. -- KATHY IN ELK GROVE, CALIF.

DEAR KATHY: I'm glad you wrote. You have a wise head and a caring heart, which is an unbeatable combination in an educator. The lessons your students are learning in your classroom will influence their lives long after they are out of school.

DEAR ABBY: My partner and I were happy to be married two weeks ago, now that same-sex couples can marry here in California. During the 25 years that we have been together, we have introduced each other simply as "my partner." Is it now socially correct to introduce each other as "my husband"? It sounds right to us, but would it make straight people uncomfortable? -- RON IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR RON: Because gay marriage is new to many people, it may do that initially. But to call your spouse "husband" is correct, so go ahead and do it. As more gay and lesbian couples officially tie the knot, the less unusual it will be. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 12 and weigh 204 pounds. I feel really fat and I want to go on a diet, but my mom won't let me. I'm getting bad grades in gym class and need your help. -- SAD GIRL IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR SAD GIRL: By recognizing that you have a problem that you can't deal with on your own, you have already taken an important first step in resolving it. The next is to talk to your gym teacher about this and enlist her aid in convincing your mother to give you the help you need.

Childhood obesity is rampant in this country, and all those extra pounds could negatively affect your health -- not only now, but in the future. If you have a pediatrician, the doctor may be able to discuss the importance of a healthy diet and exercise program for you with your mom. You will need the help of other adults to make her understand if she can't see that you need help now.

DEAR ABBY: I am 18 and dating someone of a different race. We have been together for more than a year. The problem is my father is very racist. Every time I sneak out to go see my boyfriend, my father wants to know who I am with. I tell him it's "my friends," but he knows I'm lying.

I want to tell him who I'm dating, but I know he's going to be judgmental and rude if I introduce him to my boyfriend. Any advice on what to do? -- NERVOUS IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR NERVOUS: At 18 you are too old to be sneaking around. Your father knows something is up, and he probably suspects the reason you're not being truthful or open, so stop lying. If he wants to know why you haven't brought the young man around, tell him it's because you know how he would react. And if you decide to make introductions, be sure your boyfriend knows in advance what the reaction will probably be -- if he agrees to meet your dad, that is. But I wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

DEAR ABBY: I ran into an old high school friend a while ago. "Jan" and I are both single moms. We want what's best for our kids. She has no family living here, and she doesn't have many friends. Jan has low self-esteem, high anxiety and, I believe, she mismanages her finances. Her house is extremely unkempt.

She calls me in tears often, asking for advice and help. I have tried to help her, but it is becoming overwhelming.

I asked my boss for two days off over the holidays. Jan called me shortly after and asked me if I can take care of her son on any days I have off over the holidays so he won't have to go to his day care facility. I feel bad and want to help, but I took the time off to spend much-needed time with my family. I don't want to have to bring her son to my family festivities. Is this wrong of me?

Needless to say, this relationship has added a lot of stress to my life. I tried breaking off the relationship over the summer, and I'm not even sure why it still continues. I feel mean and rude, but I don't want to be -- and can't be -- this girl's only means of support. -- TRAPPED IN BUFFALO

DEAR TRAPPED: It is neither mean nor rude to draw the line when someone's neediness is more than you can cope with. It is OK to say no, and you needn't feel guilty about it. It is also OK to advise someone that low-cost counseling is available in most communities if the person appears unstable or unable to cope with life. When you do, tell her that her needs are more than you are able to handle. If you do, you may not need to end the friendship -- she may do it for you, but you'll be doing her a favor.