DEAR ABBY: I'm the proud mother of four beautiful children -- a daughter, a son and 8-year-old twin boys. I am having a hard time getting people to understand that my boys, whom I rarely refer to as "twins," are two separate people! Every year at Christmas some family members buy gifts for our daughter and our eldest son, and then one gift our younger boys are expected to share. Abby, they once received one T-shirt, which was meant for both of them. This also happens on their birthday.
Yes, they share a room and they are twins, but they deserve the same respect as their siblings. We have never dressed them alike. They are individuals who should be treated as such like their sister and brother.
Christmas is around the corner, and I don't know how to tell my family members to please buy gifts for both the boys. I realize we have a large family. I don't expect anyone to go broke. The gift can be a small one. Can you please help me find the right words without sounding greedy? -- MOM OF FOUR IN OTTAWA
DEAR MOM: Your relatives don't appear to be particularly sensitive, or they would already realize that children are individuals whether they happen to be wombmates or not. Their "frugality" puts a damper on what are supposed to be happy occasions. It would not be "greedy" to tell them that if they can't afford a gift for each child -- regardless of how small it might be -- it would cause fewer hurt feelings if they sent none at all for any of your children.