DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old woman with a food allergy. Last year I was a guest at a Thanksgiving dinner where the host insisted I could eat the food "since there was just a little in there."

I understand that making separate food is difficult, but all I ask is that people let me know if a dish contains an ingredient that will make me sick. At best, an allergic reaction is uncomfortable. At worst, it can be life-threatening.

Would you please print a message about allergy awareness before the holidays? If you do, perhaps someone will be spared what I went through. -- NOT PICKY, REALLY ALLERGIC IN ILLINOIS

DEAR REALLY ALLERGIC: I'm glad to raise awareness because every year there is at least one story in the media about some poor individual winding up in an emergency room or dying because of an allergic reaction. Exposure to even a trace of a substance that an individual is allergic to is dangerous because "just a little" can hurt you.

The symptoms of a potentially fatal allergic reaction -- which have appeared in this column before -- are a tingling sensation, itching or metallic taste in the mouth followed by hives, a sensation of warmth, asthma symptoms, swelling of the mouth and throat area, difficulty breathing, vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, a drop in blood pressure and loss of consciousness. The symptoms can occur in as few as five to 15 minutes after exposure, but life-threatening reactions may progress over several hours. Someone experiencing these symptoms should be treated at the nearest emergency room or hospital.

This information was provided by Food Allergy Research and Education, an organization whose mission is to raise public awareness about food allergies, provide education and advance research. Its website is loaded with valuable information on this important subject. Check it out at www.foodallergy.org.

DEAR ABBY: Last week I attended two events for my grandchildren. One was a school concert, the other a dance recital. Both times, during the performance I saw electronic devices turned on throughout the audience. It seemed that parents were encouraging children to play video games, watch movies or surf the Internet instead of pay attention to the show. It drove me crazy.

What are these parents teaching their children? Not only are they missing out on the experience, but they are also being taught terrible manners. I held my tongue, but it was a struggle because I wanted to slap the parents in the back of the head. (I'm old school.) Am I wrong? -- HOLDING MY TONGUE

DEAR HOLDING: No, you're 100 percent right. Before many performances, the director or principal will request that electronic devices be turned off. That's what should have been done at the concert and recital you attended. Parents who allow or encourage their children to behave this way aren't doing their job, which is to teach them to be respectful of the performers and the effort that was put into the show.

DEAR ABBY: Veterans Day is next week, and I hope you'll address something I have encountered over the years. I am a Navy veteran who served four years as a Seabee. I was one of the first women to be assigned to a combat unit, and I am proud of my service. However, I dread it when Veterans Day rolls around. Why do people assume that because I'm a woman I am not a veteran?

Two years ago, when I went into a restaurant that serves veterans a free meal, the man in front of me was asked if he wanted a veterans' menu. He declined. The hostess did not ask me if I needed one; I had to request it. Later in the meal, the manager went to each of the tables speaking to the veterans, but skipped mine.

Today, many women serve, and it should not be a stretch that some veterans are female. Would you comment, Abby? -- OVERLOOKED IN LEXINGTON, KY.

DEAR OVERLOOKED: Gladly. I can understand why you were offended. However, I hope you realize that what happened occurred because of these people's ignorance, and it wasn't personal. While our armed forces have always been predominantly male, women have officially been part of our military only since World War II.

Many veterans wear hats or other items that identify what branch of the service they were in. To prevent this oversight from happening to you again, wear an insignia next Monday, which is Veterans Day. If you do, it will draw attention to the fact that many women serve in the military, which might be helpful to other female veterans. Thank you for your service to our country.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are having a disagreement about texting. She insisted that you can text anyone anytime -- day or night. I feel you shouldn't text after a time when you wouldn't call someone.

Cellphones are set to ring when texts come in just as landlines do. I say if you don't need an immediate response, send an email. What is proper etiquette regarding when people should send texts? -- POLITE IN KATY, TEXAS

DEAR POLITE: I don't think there are hard-and-fast rules of etiquette regarding texting -- yet. But common sense would suggest that if people suspect they "might" disturb someone by texting, then they should refrain. Of course, recipients who don't wish to be interrupted can put their cellphones on silent or turn them off.

If the texts you're arguing about are intruding on time the two of you should be concentrating on each other, I see no reason why they shouldn't be responded to the next day.

DEAR ABBY: Our family is moving into a new house soon. When we were looking at the house, our 10-year-old daughter asked if she could have the bigger bedroom. We said yes, and our 12-year-old son said he "didn't care."

We have been in contract for two months and have gone to see the house several times. When we did our final walk-through, our son pulled my husband aside and said because he is older, he should get the bigger bedroom.

Of course, our daughter is upset. My husband seems to think the older kid should get his way. My thought is that our son had more than two months to speak up, but at the 11th hour the green-eyed monster is emerging. What do you think? -- STARTING ANEW IN OHIO

DEAR STARTING ANEW: I think that at this point, to keep peace in your new home, it would be advisable for your children to draw straws to decide who gets the larger bedroom.

DEAR ABBY: For 2 1/2 years I have taken care of my daughter without the help of her father. He pays child support only when the courts threaten to throw him in jail, but he never comes to see her. When he does come by, it's not to see or spend time with her, it's to try and get sex from me. Sometimes I give in and give it to him as an itch to scratch.

He recently got "married" and now has four other children. The last time he was over, I noticed that he has all his children's initials tattooed on his arm except our daughter's, and it bothered me.

I only want what is best for my little girl, and I have made it clear that if he isn't a part of her life now, that he needs to stay away until she's an adult. I don't want her to be hurt by a part-time or sometimes dad. I guess my question is, is it OK to be angry that he doesn't recognize her as his child but does his other four? -- PO'D IN OHIO

DEAR PO'D: Oh, goodness gracious, yes. And because you don't want your child to be hurt by this man, I'm advising you to quit being his booty call. There are other ways to scratch an itch, depending upon whose itch it is. If you continue seeing him under these circumstances, you could wind up being the mother of another one of his children, God forbid.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this hoping that anyone who is in a supervisory position at work will see it and think before pressuring employees to buy popcorn, cookies, wrapping paper, trinkets, chocolate bars, etc., for their children's schools or organizations. This is extortion. I have tried saying, "No, thank you," but I get such a bad attitude from my supervisor that I end up ordering something -- usually the cheapest item -- to avoid the drama.

I can't afford to drop $20 here and there on items I wouldn't otherwise buy or eat. It's a lot of money to employees who haven't had wage or benefit increases in more than four years. I can barely keep my car filled with gas and have to unroll coins sometimes to pick up food for dinner a day or two before payday.

Please tell bosses and managers not to solicit sales from employees. It's tacky! -- TURNED OFF IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TURNED OFF: I'm happy to get the word out because I agree that the sales tactic your supervisor is using is tacky. Parents who do this for their children deny the kids the experience of doing the selling and learning to cope with rejection if prospective customers don't buy.

Because you don't have $20 to spare, you might be able to deflect the "attitude" by offering a small donation -- a dollar or two -- to the cause. But if you can't spare any money, then stiffen your spine and don't let yourself be made to feel guilty. Buying things you don't need is not part of your job description.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law wrote the following to my husband in a birthday card: "I couldn't find a card that really fit you. None of them said 'sweet, kind, sexy, lovable, friendly, intelligent, or one of the best brothers-in-law ever,' so I'm telling you in my own words. If I could get ahold of my husband's money, I'd send you on a cruise."

Was this appropriate? I don't think so. My husband says she didn't mean anything. Help? -- SHOCKED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SHOCKED: Speaking of cruises, throw your sister-in-law a lifesaver, because I think she went overboard.