DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced five years and have five children, ranging in age from 23 to 8. When I was having trouble with my middle son, "Logan," I found help from his godfather, "Carl." I hadn't seen Carl in years. He was my ex's best friend when Logan was born.

Long story short, Carl and I have been in a committed relationship for two years now. He has been more a part of our lives than my ex has. Four of my kids love Carl, and he is very involved in their lives. Logan, however, hates him and throws a fit if his name is mentioned. I have tried to explain that I didn't intend this to happen, but Logan feels I "took away his godfather from him." Carl is still there for him, but Logan will have none of it and refuses to listen.

Carl and I mainly spend time together on the weekends we don't have our kids, or meet for lunch or breakfast. I'm at a loss. Logan is now 17. I don't want to lose Carl. He's a great man and wants what's best for me and the kids. What should I do? -- PULLED IN TWO DIRECTIONS IN CANADA

DEAR PULLED: Logan may be 17, but he is acting like a child. Do not let his behavior discourage you from having a life. In another year he will be 18 -- and either concentrating on finishing his education or finding a job.

Logan needs to realize that he hasn't "lost" a godfather, and that everyone may eventually be gaining a stepdad. He also needs to understand that if he can't accept it, he will find himself odd man out in an otherwise healthy, happy and functional family.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of five years, "Todd," is a daily pot smoker. We met during our senior year of college, and I knew he smoked. I don't use drugs, and I assumed that after college he would grow up. However, it seems unlikely that he will quit, and frankly, I'm sick of it.

I have asked Todd for the last four years to please stop, but he hasn't. He keeps saying he will, but I don't know how much longer I want to wait. I know it's unfair to expect to change someone, but I would not be comfortable getting engaged or married to Todd if he's still getting stoned. I love him. Should I give it more time or move on? -- PATIENT GIRLFRIEND IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR GIRLFRIEND: You have been patient enough. If Todd had any intention of quitting, it would have happened already. Four years of procrastination are enough. Because you feel so strongly about this, it's time to move on because your boyfriend is not going to change.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to share a Thanksgiving tradition our family has enjoyed for years. We realized that after a big holiday dinner we weren't ready to eat a lot of dessert, so we started having "Pie Night" the evening before Thanksgiving. After a light meal we could enjoy the various pies or cakes family members brought. It became one of our favorite traditions.

My father suggested it as a social event/fundraiser to the pastor of our local church, and it was one of their best-attended events. Our family is scattered across the country now, but those times were some of my favorites, and I thought some of your readers might like to incorporate it into their holiday celebrations, too. -- GOOD TIMES IN ARIZONA

DEAR GOOD TIMES: They might, indeed, especially if they are trying to spread those extra calories over a longer period. (And it would be a good idea to exercise the day after they indulge.) Thanks for the suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Mark," and I have been together for a year. We met at work, and have dated ever since. Several months ago we were offered a job opportunity in another state. We moved in together and are happy.

My problem is, over the past few months we have been living together, our personal relationship has come to a halt. We still care about each other deeply, but no longer do the things couples do. We don't go out on dates or see the new city we've moved to.

Do you have any advice on how I can get Mark to go out and see the sights without sounding whiny or pushy? -- BALTIMORE AND D.C. BECKON

DEAR BALTIMORE: Tell Mark the two of you appear to have become housebound and you don't think it's healthy -- particularly because Baltimore and Washington, D.C., have many entertainment and cultural opportunities to offer. Then create a "bucket list" and have him choose from the menu of choices that are available. If that doesn't inspire him, ask him to create a list, or start exploring on your own.

If you are successful at getting Mark out of the house, it may liven up your relationship. But if it doesn't, you may have more serious problems to deal with, and a heart-to-heart talk with him about your entire relationship is in order.

DEAR ABBY: My son's birthday was yesterday. I invited him to dinner at a very nice restaurant. When he showed up, he had two other men with him. They didn't offer to pay for their food, so I had to pay for all of us.

My son is 32, and I would like to say something about this to him. Or should I just not invite him to nice dinners out? -- TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN SUGARLAND, TEXAS

DEAR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF: No. Say something to him. And when you do, it should be something like this: "Son, springing unexpected guests on your host is bad manners. You should have asked permission first. I was appalled that your friends didn't offer to share the expense. Please don't do that again because if you do, I'll stop inviting you."

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced many years ago. Dad started dating and moved in with a woman I'll call Crystal a few months later. They stayed together for several years. I lived with them part-time then, and eventually only occasionally. I don't have a good relationship with my father.

Since then, he and Crystal have broken up and Dad moved away. I never felt particularly close with her, but she calls and emails me incessantly, begging me to spend time together. She even refers to her daughter as my "sister." She never showed much interest in me when we lived together, and I'm confused how to respond. -- BEWILDERED

DEAR BEWILDERED: Crystal may be attempting to maintain a presence in your father's life by continuing a relationship with you. The next time she emails, email her back and point out that your father has moved on with his life, and it is time for her to do the same because you are busy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a fire officer who has seen too many families experience accidental home fires, many with fatal results. It is devastating to find out that a life could have been saved had someone taken the simple precaution of replacing a dead battery in a smoke alarm.

In a recent survey, more than 50 percent of the respondents admitted to removing the batteries in their smoke detector, leaving them inoperable. A working smoke alarm in your home greatly increases your chance of surviving a home fire, but only if it is functional.

Please remind your readers to change the batteries in their smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors when they turn their clocks back to standard time on Nov. 3. On average, home fires kill seven people every day. No one should be injured or lose a life because of a non-working smoke detector.

This is the 26th year the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC) and Energizer have collaborated on the Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery Program. What may seem like a tedious task can be lifesaving. A working smoke alarm can give families precious extra seconds to get out safely. If you help me circulate this important safety reminder, together we can make a difference and save some lives. -- WILLIAM R. METCALF, PRESIDENT, IAFC

DEAR OFFICER METCALF: I hope my readers will take your letter to heart as I have, and buy those replacement batteries today if they haven't already. Yes, I know tomorrow is Halloween -- but as distracting as the holiday may be, your family's safety is more important. If you're buying candy, grab some batteries. On Saturday night you'll be turning your clocks back an hour. Before you do, be sure you insert fresh batteries in your smoke detectors and test the alarms.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl, and my 45-year-old father acts even more childish than me. He doesn't have a stable job, and he stays out late or never comes home at all.

My father complains that we don't have enough money and says we need to start saving, then he goes and blows his paycheck on booze and his girlfriend. I need a car to get to work, and I'll be going to college in two years. I can't pay for it all myself.

How do I get Dad on the right track? Please help, because I'm tired of worrying about my future and what's left of his. -- HEADING FOR COLLEGE SOON IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HEADING: I wish I could tell you how to motivate your father to behave more responsibly, but a lesson you should learn early is that you can't change someone else. Your father is a self-centered individual, but only he can change his behavior.

Small college scholarships are offered by some fraternal organizations. I'm glad you wrote, because it's never too early to start exploring what's available. Talk to a counselor at school about what you need to do to earn scholarships. You should also look online or at your local library. You appear to be focused and mature, and with some guidance you can accomplish your goals.